Looking for others in 12-step recovery

Hey, I'm looking to connect with others who are in NA or AA and are going to have or have gone through surgery. I have 115 days clean and am struggling with tearing down this emotional wall, now that the drugs are out. I'm also a little worried about any pain medication I might get - I heard after RNY, you get morphine? Anyway, really just hoping to build a network within a network on here. Thanks, Abby

 i am stacy a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.... i was addicted to heroin and more for the better part of 20 yrs  i am now sober going on 10 yrs had the surgery 7 yrs intoa my recovery.......i put down the drugs and picked up food with vengence......   my biggest advice to you is try to incorperate both kinds of support groups into your life....... its hard but a must......i was a street walking drag down drawn out junkie....... and at 7 yrs sober big  as a house i wanted to eat a bullet A.A. saved my life and my live surgery support group help me maintain..... i am three yrs out of surgery and at goal..... life is beyond my dreams.....just remem ber just when you think you got it bad someone has it worse...... ONE  DAY AT A TIME.... feel free to contact me for whatever...this board is wonderful Stacy

Thanks, Stacy - that's perfect advice. In fact, I'm going to my first WLS support group next week and am definitely going to rely on networks for both recovery and WLS to get through this. Can you tell me which surgery you had (I'm still deciding btwn Lap Band and RNY) and your post-op process?

Abby

i often feel my decision was based on the fact that i am an addictict so i wanted more hahahahah....... i felt in my own opinion the rny gave the best results....but what do i know.... i reached my personal goal in 9 months   i dont know about you but i want everything yesterday.............  so that worked for me good luck in your decision email me whenever Stacy

oh by the way in the hospital was the only time i took pain meds and then after my hernia repair....again not easy but dont try t o be a marter if your in pain take it if not then try to stick it out Stacy

Abby: Hello, congrats on your 115 days clean, that is fantastic! Congrats as well on attempting to set up as many tools and resources for your recovery and wls. May I ask when you are considering it? Typically 1 year clean/sober is recommended to have you in the best place for optimal longterm results. There is much talk on transfer of addictions post WLS now as we lose that way to cope. Being in recovery the 12 step groups, having a sponser, therapist familiar with your addictions can only help you succeed. Yes pain meds are given but short term usually although I have had the experience of people becoming addicted to them after WLS. Consider joinging as well other groups such as:  http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Eating_Disorders_After_ WLS/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/OSSG-ADDICTIONS http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ they also have an addictions forum i beleive I bet someday soon there may be wls 12 step groups b/c of the rise in this type of issue, just like open or step meetings....I also bet it will be easy to find other wlsers in 12 step groups near you. From my own 12 step experience CODA/OA  I know addiction is about control, it is about avoiding emotions, it is not really about food or alcohol or drugs, its a way to avoid. Learning to be present, accoutnable, aware and accept and feel our emotions, reparenting ourself on healthy ways to live and feel vs fearing our emotions, finding that nothing is a bog deal and that we can ask for help, deserve our needs and have ahigher power is invaluable. Early in recovery those are big things to work on, WLS is a big thing do it when you have the best chance at lasting success, when you feel grounded more in your recover, :-) as the honeymoon is gone so fast and we r left again with life and all of its challenges.. be well! From BSCIs e-Newsletter October 31st, 2006

Addiction and Weight Loss Surgery: A Social Worker's Perspective By Katie Jay, MSW; Director, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery  

Here's a typical scenario. At her sister's wedding, Fiona, who had never been a big drinker, decided to try her first taste of alcohol after weight loss surgery (WLS). She had waited 11 months after surgery, had lost 115 pounds so far, and wasn't going to deny herself a glass of champagne on such an important day. And wow, did she enjoy that champagne! She sipped on a small drink, got a nice buzz, and laughed the evening away. No big deal.

Fiona didn't realize that gastric bypass patients will get drunker quicker and have higher blood alcohol levels after drinking smaller quantities of alcohol than people who have not had weight loss surgery.

Fiona Rekindles the "Pleasure" of a Mood-Altering Activity

After WLS, Fiona had done a pretty good job of changing her eating habits. She almost completely avoided sugar and ate mostly protein and veggies. She loved her success, but there was a part of her who missed indulging in food. When she tried the champagne, she felt self indulgent and relaxed in a way she hadn't in a long time (in about 11 months, actually).

The following week when Fiona was grocery shopping she decided to pick up a bottle of wine. It would be great to have a small glass before dinner sometimes, she thought. She poured herself a small glass when she got home from the store just to find out how it tasted and to quietly enjoy another little buzz.

Over time, Fiona began to sneak wine during the day. She hid it when her husband commented on her consumption. The behavior of wanting something forbidden, getting it, hiding it, and consuming it in private was so familiar to Fiona from her days of overeating that it was almost a relief to sneak the wine -- and she slowly built up the quantity she was drinking.

Thankfully, Fiona was participating in group therapy with a social worker who specialized in weight loss surgery at the time. When one of the other group members shared about getting into a car accident and being arrested for driving drunk, Fiona felt uncomfortable. She had driven to pick up her son from soccer the prior evening after she had a small glass of wine. At the time she knew she was tipsy.

Still, she poured herself more wine when she got home from group and drank it in the basement playroom, because her husband almost never went down there.

Fiona didn't have to get arrested for drunk driving to really "get" that she had a problem. Everything came to a head when her son found an empty wine bottle in his toy box in the basement, while Fiona had another mother and son over for a play date. Fiona was completely humiliated.

Embarrassed and ashamed, Fiona called her therapist to talk about what happened, and the therapist referred her to a social worker who specializes in substance abuse.

With the help of the therapist and a support group for substance abusers, Fiona was able to get on the road to recovery quickly.

But, why did Fiona Turn into an Alcoholic Overnight?

Fiona simply switched one addiction for another. It's not uncommon for a person who gives up one addictive behavior to pick up another addictive behavior. Fiona had quit using food as a soothing substance in her life. The alcohol came in and filled that void.

Switching addictions is also demonstrated when a person develops an unhealthy relationship with eating and exercise following weight loss surgery.

Exercise can become a way to compensate for overeating, and can turn into what is called exercise bulimia. It's not bad to exercise as part of a plan to control one's weight. But if the overeating becomes excessive, and then the exercise becomes obsessive -- that's a problem. Your physical health can be threatened -- not to mention your peace of mind.

The other common addiction people switch to is spending. Many weight loss surgery patients get such a kick out of shopping for new clothes they get a little carried away - and then they get hooked. Having been so burdened by obesity in the past, weight loss surgery patients begin to leave the house more, because they're now physically able to, and they shop more frequently. Shopping can morph into a mood-changing activity, and hence, an addiction.

What Can People Do in Fiona's Situation?

Several steps can be taken to address the experience of switching addictions:

1. Identify your addiction(s) and the extent to which it is (they are) ruling your life.

2. Educate yourself about a particular addiction by doing research and talking to professionals who have knowledge and experience in that area.

3. Seek out a knowledgeable social worker if you are unable to control your addictive behavior on your own.

4. Join a support group that addresses your specific addiction, such as overeaters anonymous, alcoholics anonymous, debtors anonymous, etc. Remember, addictions are very common and nothing to be ashamed of. But, they are hard to get rid of in isolation. Get help if you are struggling. And keep in mind any addictions left untreated absolutely will take over your life.

Katie Jay, MSW, is the Director of the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery (www.nawls.com) and is author of the courageous book, Dying to Change: My Really Heavy Life Story, How Weight Loss Surgery Gave Me Hope for Living.

BSCI is pleased to participate in a global survey on Response to Alcohol After Bariatric Surgery. We would like your input as we continue to elevate care for WLS patients.

Please visit this link http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=749492407167 Your participation remains completely anonymous.

Jamie, that is excellent advice. My sponsor and therapist are also concerned that I'm only addressing the symptom - not the core issue - so I am committed to continue working on my recovery as I go through this process. I won't be having surgery until December, so I'll be at almost 9 months when I get it.

I'll look into the groups you suggested. Can you tell me about your surgery, what's changed, etc?

Thanks,

Abby