Need to vent!

Trish6660
on 6/29/07 6:04 am - Long Island, NY
I'm having trouble constantly TALKING and HEARING compliments/inquisitions by the SAME people day in and day out.  Once the compliment is made, why can't they just move past it?  Yes, I've lost 95 lbs but I lie and say only 60-65 because TODAY the same person (Fran) who has noticed and mentioned my weight loss a million times each time I see her in the elevator at work finally inquired with me today after I TOLD her that I'm eating less and moving more (diet) since last labor day and she still had the f*cking nerve to ask me IF HAD "THAT" WEIGHT SURGERY!!!!!!!!!!!   I nearly took her down int he elevator and bit her head off, found myself LYING to her about it because, quite frankly, I don't feel it's anyone's GD business!!  And I'm so tired of the inquisition from her.  Enough already!!  For the longest time even though I was losing the weight I was still wearing my old clothes.  I am not made of money so had to make do.  Finally, when the tax return came, I splurged and started to by tighter sizes and NOW people notice.  I've plateau'd about 2 months ago and can't seem to move on the scale, yet each time I see people you would think I lost another 95 lbs.  I feel I am losing inches, not weight but I'm so sick and tired already of feeling called upon to EXPLAIN my weight loss.  NONE of these people gave a sh*t about me before when I weighed over 300 lbs now everyone's in my face about it and I wish I could just find another job and start over, but this has been my Achilles heel for the last 5 years since Sept 11.  No good jobs, and no promotions/upgrades where I am now.  This issue seeems to be eating me today and I need support from other WLS people who CHOOSE to keep the surgery quiet.  What really ticked me off after I lied to her about the surgery, is that she then went on to say "good for you that you are doing this ON YOUR OWN"....HELLO???  EVEn with WLS I am doing this ON MY OWN!!!  humph!!!  argh!~!!!   Help before I explode and eat a twinkie over this.....HELP!!  (ha ha)  I'm trying to find my sense of humor now.
 Trish
cheri24iv
on 6/29/07 6:17 am - Hamilton, NY
Hey kiddo, Let it roll off your back.  I wouldn't give her the time of day.  I have loads of people here at the office that know and many don't know I had surgery.  I think those who don't know, just see me in summery clothing vs the heavy wintery things.  lol    I will be facing this over the holiday.  My best friend with undoubtedly tell people at my 30th reunion I had WLS.  I will have a select few I want to know, NOT THE ENTIRE CLASS when the info comes from her, not me!   Oh well, guess I'll roll with it and promote WLS and educate as I have been! Good luck with this and be proud of yourself!!
Cheri, The Happy Bandster



Trish6660
on 7/1/07 11:39 pm - Long Island, NY
It's tough just to IGNORE people, they are direct and NOSEY and very opionated.  They ride down with you in the elevator (no escape) and have the balls to not only compliment you but then get PERSONAL and inquisitive about  things that are, quite frankly ....none of their business.  I think I just need to learn to be more direct about TELLING her to mind hers.
 Trish
cheri24iv
on 7/2/07 1:08 am - Hamilton, NY
Yup, though sometimes that's hard to do, too!  Best of luck with her!
pennygirl
on 6/29/07 7:28 am - Long Island, NY

Just tell them that you have been trying very hard and "Thanks."  Sometimes, unless you bring up another subject, people just hate pauses in conversation - the silence makes them uncomfortable - especially in the elevator. Beat them at their game and if all else fails, there's always the weather to comment on before the subject turns to all about you. You don't need to elaborate on your weight loss. Take Care~~ Diane

Trish6660
on 7/1/07 11:41 pm - Long Island, NY
I do exactly that but people around here just will not accept that.  They want DETAILS and information (gossip) to spread.  I think I'm going to have to be more direct about turning the tables on her and ask her WHY she needs to know and WHY she can't seem to get past the simple explanation of things.  It's like she' digging for more which I choose not to discuss with her.  A simple reply doesn't seem to suffice with this *****
 Trish
Christine912
on 6/29/07 9:48 am - KEW GARDENS, NY
Don't let her or anyone get to you..........you are doing a great job and should be proud of yourself.  You need not to explain anything to anyone.
minnielover
on 6/29/07 10:57 am - buffalo, NY
Trish. I was at first going to kep my upcomming wls a secert too. But decided to tell everyone and teach them about what trial and tribulations that will follow. I also told them that this is a life commitment not the easy way out or magical surgery to make me loose  weight but it is a tool that I will be given to futher assist me in my weight loss.  Don't let people get to you. You should be very happy that people are giving you compliments left and right. it is your job to teach ignorant envious people about wls. next time some one says somthing like howw much did you loose tell them the truth say i lost 95lbs so far. Then change the subject like for example you can say 95 lbs and then say oh I hope it rains today so I don't have to water my flowers. Then if they try to back to the weight loss subject an dsay how did you do it. ?Say I watch what I ea****ch portions and I excersice. don't get stressed it;s better then people talking behind your back saying omg she is huge. Take it with a grain of salt. take care. Sheila
Trish6660
on 7/1/07 11:45 pm - Long Island, NY

You will find that there are just some people you cannot teach because they are not interested just opinionated and want to negate your success and bring you down because of their own jealousy.  I am a very private person and hate to be talked about.  I want to say to her, are you going to comment when and if I gain a few pounds?  My weight is a sensitve issue, always has been and I resent people who have all of the sudden started talking to me when they couldn't/wouldn't give me the time of day before. 

 Trish
Pielet
on 6/29/07 3:39 pm - White Plains, NY
VSG on 07/23/07 with
On another forum someone suggested saying that you have a "stomach issue" (she was looking for something that wasn't a lie, but gave no information) and that it made her very uncomfortable to talk about the "issue."

Good luck with these neanderthals!
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