PEOPLES CRAPPY COMMENTS ABOUT WLS!!!

A friend of mine today "addressed their concerns" that I was losing weight too quickly and that it seems extremely unhealthy.  This is an overweight person like myself  who has seen me struggling with weight gain for over 20 years.  Now I am finally doing something about it and proud and happy and she just takes a crap all over it by saying this??  My doctor doesn't think I am "unhealthy".  She says that I am putting strain on my heart by losing so rapidly.  She says I have gone from one extreme to the other.  What the hell would you guys say to a friend like this?   AAAAHHHHH!!!!  Please help!!

It's normal for someone who's known  you for a  long time and seen you gain and lose many times over the years,  to be concerned when all  of a sudden you're just losing and very quickly.  If it's simply sincere concern, I would expalin to them that you have been and will continue to be under a  doctor's care and that your doctor is very  happy with your progress.  That probably won't stop them from asking "are you sure?" but at least  it should ease their worries a bit and hopefully they'll take a break from voicing their concerns.  On the other  hand, if this person is saying mean things out of jealousy or envy, I wouldn't consider them a friend at all and would start easing them out of your life.  If they can't be  happy for you and support you while you're beginning your new life, do you really want them around.... My best friend of over 25 years had WLS about 5 years ago.  I know when she started losing weight so quickly I asked  her many times  if  it was healthy for her to do that, if everything was going OK.  It wasn't out  of jealousy or envy although I was/still am overweight myself; it was concern for her and  her well-being that made me ask.  Even though she probably got tired of ppl asking her stuff  like that, she  knew it was because we cared and wanted the best for her. Only you can tell if your "friend" is saying this stuff out of genuine care and concern, or if there's  a different motive behind it.  I'm sure as you continue  on your WLS journey it will become more obvious what her reasons are. Good luck and  I hope things work out for the best for you!  -Flo

Things change ... and this time YOU are changing.  People may have a hard time keeping up with those changes.  Give her a chance to get used to the new and evolving YOU.  If there is still a rift, well then ... shed the friendship along with the pounds.  Some friendships are not always healthy for us ... but only you know that for sure. Much success on your journey.

 I think it's sweet your friend is so concerned about you. You calmly tell her you are under the care of a physician and that you appreciate her concern and friendship and you don't let her comment get under your skin, you just keep doing what you're doing. ANDI

Hi, Does your freind know that you had gastric bypass? Like everyone else said she is just envious of you. Next time she says that to you make a joke and  say well it's better then gaining fast. Then tell her that maybee she should consider having the surgery to and she could have wonderful resuts for you. and also thell her that loosing weight rapidly is only gonna help your heart not hurt it.  You are doing awsome keep the the hard work. Oh save room for me on that loosers bench My surgery is in 10 days. Sheila

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!  is what I'd say    My best friend has said some nasty things to me, as did her mom 2 weeks ago.  I tell them I would be yo-yo'ing the rest of my life if I dieted like they do and I used to!  I'd also ask your friend when she got her medical license...LOL JOKING!  I would comment once, then ignore the ignorant (and unhappy).  Don't let people rain on your parade!  I'm very proud of you!  If your doc isn't concerned KUDOS kiddo!

Hi One of the biggest problems I encountered is negative comments. And you know who they come from? Overweight people who have nothing nice to say because they are jealous that they are still heavy and we aren't. I get that from one of my relatives who weighs close to 400 pounds. Never has anything nice to say because of jealousy. Everytime she saw a picture of me, instead of saying something nice, it was always a negative comment about the picture. So I ignore these people because I personally have never felt better and looked better in my entire life. Rapid w eight loss or not, i am very happy with my decision. Good luck............

its all jealousy get used to it cause when your wearing a bikini she will eat her words  just chalk it up to jealodusy and keep doing what your doing!!!!!!!!   she will shut up eventuly Stacy

As someone who has recently had wls surgery I feel like I'm not losing fast enough, but if I look at it from an outsiders perspective that is possibly uninformed and uneducated  about it, I would worry. You have to remember your friend has seen you overweight for a long time, thats what he/she is used to and its scary when people we care about go through such drastic changes, expecially physically. In the end only you would know if your friend is speaking out of concern for you, jealousy, or whatever reason it may be. I think the key is communication. Sit him/her down and explain to her the process. Why you're doing this and whats exoected to happen after the surgery. I'm not saying it will turn things around with them, but if its fear for you, knowledge usually goes a long way in abating ot handling those fears. How else did we find the courage to make the choice we have made?

Sometimes you can just tell if it's jealousy on the person's part. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and think that they would be genuinely concerned about me. My sweet neighbor had WLS last year and though I didn't verbalize it, I was hoping that she was healthy. (Believe me, I have not had this experience yet. No one except my family has commented on a weight difference. I think that my old poundaroonies are taking their own sweet time to come off to look so drastic.) Keep doing what you are doing. Take Care~~ Diane