1 week post op update

I don't think it oculd have gona any more wrong than how it did. As I mentioned I went to the DMV the before my post op appointment, the only problem is I never made it to the appointmet. While on line at the DMV I seeme d to go into some sortof distress.  I started having, what I have been are, palpitations. I felt like I couldn't breathe no matter how mych I gasped for air and I felt physically exhausted to the poiint where I couldn''t stay on my feet for more than a fe wminutes. I was sweating(in an air contitioned place) like I had jogged 3 miles in the most humid day of the year. I called my surgeon and was told to go to the emergency room, which is where I spent thenext 10 hours being tested and scanned and stabed by so many needled my arm still hurts the next day. They were afraid I had a blood clot, so they kept me overnight, something I just couldn't handle due to recent problems. Heh, it seems I have ben neglecting myself, even though I have been trying not to. I was dehydrated and exhausted. Losing my bf so close after surgeru totally threw me out of whack. I hadn't slept much, maybe 4 hours in the past 3 days, and I knowI had forgotten to sip every now and then. So I spent the night in the hospital, a place I am beginning to hate, only left with my thooughtsand feelings, none of them good in any way.  When I had my palpatations I thought some terrible things, that...well, god has a sadistic sense of humor. I was released today, thank god, because I couldnt have taken another completely selfless night all alone in the stillness of a hospital where my thoughtsand emotions completely overwhelemed me to the poin t where since I couldn't sleep I helped some of the nurses do their duty. I'm back home how, and some interesting things happened despite I still feel like an emotional and exhausted wreck. I feel like being dumped was like hittingme with a mack truck and I can't over it. I really thiught I had been taking care of myself, but the lack of sleep and not enough fluids totally took me by surprise. I'm startingto wonder whats next.

I am so sorry that you are having the trouble you are having.  As far as what is next, most of that is up to you.  This is your life.  I'm sorry that your boyfriend did what he did.  How selfish of him.  Don't let him tell you how to feel about yourself.  This surgery has given you the opportunity to change your life.    Anyone that goes through this surgery is courageous enough to want a new life so bad that they are willing to go through what you went through.  One thing about hitting rock bottom, is there is no where to go but up.  I will be praying for you.  Please take care of yourself.  Don't jeopardize your health.  Do what you need to do.  You will come out the winner. 

Please do not lose sight of the great thing you have done! You came through this surgery to make your life better. This road bump as awful as it is and feels is just a bump. You have opened the door to opportunity and now that life and its obstacles are trying to challenge you the most and trying to close it, you have to shout from the hilltops and fight for your life. What I mean is. The surgery is over and now the “fun” begins.

 

 

You will be learning to re-eat and see what your body can accept or not accept. You will watch your self go through changes mentally and physically. I bet you will even try things you have never tried before (and I am not talking about food).

 

 

I read your profile and a lot of the things you mentioned are going to change now if you are willing (and you seem willing) if you don’t give up.

 

 

 Alexx I am so sorry that these things have happened to you. I can not even imagine what you are going through, but please fight for yourself, for your life and believe it or not, fight for others. Yes, you are making a drastic change that will impact those around you. Some may get jealous and do stupid things and even hurt you, and a lot of times, that is just jealousness. You have faced a big fear and now you can keep going or stop. This remains your decision. But others will celebrate and rejoice with you, and I will be one of them.

 

 

I pray that you are strengthened in your spirit, body, mind and soul. I check into this site about 2x/day, so if you ever want to send a message I will respond. Just remember, you can do this and have already begun to.

 

Alexx, Omg i'm so glad you are ok. Please take this as a sign that you have to take care of your self. You need to do this for you.as far as your boyfreind leaving  you . Don't even sweat it you will be able to get any man you want. You don't need someone like that. you seem like a good person. Please take care of yourself and drink tha****er or you will end up back in the hospital. Take care Sheila

Can you go get yourself some counseling, you are letting one man have WAY too much power over you and a counselor can help you through this rough patch. That came out harsh and it's not meant to be. This is YOUR life and YOUR journey and you are letting someone else control what you are thinking, feeling and doing for yourself, stop that immediately. If he doesn't want you there will be someone who will and he will be good for you and healthy and he'll love you the way you need to be loved if you let him. Panic attacks are no joke and no laughing matter so take your health seriously and make you a priority from now on.   What are you going to do for you today that's healthy?  I'm going to take a walk a long one like 3 miles,  i showered and slathered on my favorite lotion, i smell delicious, i'm going to put on make up and run errands and then i'm going to make healthy choices for my meals and get in my minimum 64 ounces of fluids, this i do just for me! No one is going to take care of you, you're going to have to do it yourself and we're here to help you. Each night i write in a journal my "pma's" that stands for Positive Mental Attitude and what it is is a check list of the good things that have happened to me today... it's 7:14am and i'l give you last nights because they are more clear in my head: 1. i went out to lunch with a good friend, we laughed and talked for over 2 hours, i met h er through my support group and she really is a wonderful person 2. the part came in for my minivan and my husband was able to fix it last night so i've got my wheels back and so does he and we're both excited 3. I shopped at the Salvation Army and got some GREAT stuff for like no money, I got an Ann Taylor Loft blouse for $.98 and it's not stained and it's in the washer right now. I got a silk Hawaiian shirt that will be perfect for a party that we're going to AND the woman at the store told me it was too big on me (a large) and that i should have it taken in and i just might because it's a really nice shirt and silk no less if you want me to continue i will but i do a minimum of three pma's per day. ANDI

WOnderful Advice, Everyone! And Andi, I love your PMS's and am sooooo going to adopt them!

you are SO cute it's PMA not PMS that's a whole other ball of wax but if you want to discuss THAT at length i can go on and on...i'm a pms sufferer in the worst way and surgery made it worse for a really long time. Hugs, ANDI  tell me your pma's and i'll share mine with you daily if you'd like, it really does help because you know you have to be accountable for them you start looking for the good things that are happening to you and not the bad. ANDI

Aw babe, I'm so sorry to hear that you had such a terrible experience. Now I really wanna beat that guy up! Just too bad I can't fight. I know its hard to take care of yourself, when you're depressed and heartbroken. Because all of your thoughts are on the break up. But sweetie, if you don't love yourself enough to take care of you, who'll do it for you?  You are smart and fun and loving and gorgeous and he'll be so angry that he missed out.  Keep your chin up and sip sip sip. *kisses* 

JUST KNOW THAT YOUR FABULOUS FOR BEING BRAVE, AND FABULOUS PEOPLE LIKE US WALK WITH OUR HEADS UP HIGH. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.