Agoraphobia anyone?
I feel like I'm the only one dealing w/ this and it's absolutely debilitating. It hasn't been 'properly' diagnosed because I have not left my apartment in 2 yrs.! Too weak from my size [thank heavens I'm not bed ridden], and too afraid and ashamed 
of my morbid obesity. I've been battling my weight since I was 7yrs old and moreso after age 8 & 9 when I was molested by different people.
But that's another chapter.
I know very well that I became even more afraid of dealing with crowds/ people in general and the comments/whispers/thoughts after losing my spouse. When my husband died from prostate cancer and after the memorials were all done & the legal bs was working itself out, I sank into a DEEP, black depression. The best way to describe it is 'paralyzed'. Couldn't think. Couldn't hardly talk to anyone. Even my blood relations I ordered not to see me. This was in 2003 and I was already way over 300lbs and in extreme physical pain. Now I'm just gradually comming up from this abyss in 2007. I guess the agoraphobia slowly took hold around the turkey day holidays in 2004.
If it were not for the internet I struggle to fathom 
how I'd handle my finances/shopping/bills/work from home etc.
I don't have health insurance because I can't afford it [like millions in our country] 
. I can't go on Soc Sec./medicare/medicaid because 1. I don't think I qualify & 2. I can't go out there. Now I've got a JURY DUTY
notice and I don't know what to do! I got the first excusal because it came 2 days b4 my husband died and an RN [during the brief time I did have insurance] wrote a note stating that due to my size and added complications due to it, I could not serve. People may mock me and think I'm being silly but this my size & phobia are no joke.
And it scares me.
I guess this is a cry for 
if anyone can relate, offer helpful suggestions or even give references/referrals; I'd greatly appreciate it. I want and need WLS desperately. Too bad docs don't make house calls anymore. And if surgery were offered to me today, how would I pay for it? I only have 3 things of any value that were presents to me from my husband. No it's not jewelry. I'd give 1 of them to the surgeon and waive everything if I had to.
But I'd have to set foot outside first. Say a small prayer for me WLS family and I'll do the same for you.
of my morbid obesity. I've been battling my weight since I was 7yrs old and moreso after age 8 & 9 when I was molested by different people. But that's another chapter.
I know very well that I became even more afraid of dealing with crowds/ people in general and the comments/whispers/thoughts after losing my spouse. When my husband died from prostate cancer and after the memorials were all done & the legal bs was working itself out, I sank into a DEEP, black depression. The best way to describe it is 'paralyzed'. Couldn't think. Couldn't hardly talk to anyone. Even my blood relations I ordered not to see me. This was in 2003 and I was already way over 300lbs and in extreme physical pain. Now I'm just gradually comming up from this abyss in 2007. I guess the agoraphobia slowly took hold around the turkey day holidays in 2004. If it were not for the internet I struggle to fathom how I'd handle my finances/shopping/bills/work from home etc.
I don't have health insurance because I can't afford it [like millions in our country] . I can't go on Soc Sec./medicare/medicaid because 1. I don't think I qualify & 2. I can't go out there. Now I've got a JURY DUTY notice and I don't know what to do! I got the first excusal because it came 2 days b4 my husband died and an RN [during the brief time I did have insurance] wrote a note stating that due to my size and added complications due to it, I could not serve. People may mock me and think I'm being silly but this my size & phobia are no joke. And it scares me.
I guess this is a cry for if anyone can relate, offer helpful suggestions or even give references/referrals; I'd greatly appreciate it. I want and need WLS desperately. Too bad docs don't make house calls anymore. And if surgery were offered to me today, how would I pay for it? I only have 3 things of any value that were presents to me from my husband. No it's not jewelry. I'd give 1 of them to the surgeon and waive everything if I had to.
But I'd have to set foot outside first. Say a small prayer for me WLS family and I'll do the same for you. 
I don't pretend to have any answers for you, but I want you to know that I'm here to listen when you need to talk to someone. A thousand others are as well.
Someone on this board will probably be able to help you find a solution. There are more problems going on with you than just agoraphobia,for sure.
Hang in there and keep posting if you need to.
I will be praying for you.
Take Care- 
Diane
Somehow you'll fight yourself out of the paper bag that you're in.
Diane
Somehow you'll fight yourself out of the paper bag that you're in. 
Dear J.B.,
Congratulations for taking the first step to improve your situation by finding the NY forum! 
Sadly, you are not alone! There are numerous others just like you.
First, I think you should apply to whatever (rSoc Sec./medicare/medicaid) don't assume that you won't qualify. Try sweetie! What have you got to lose?
If that doesn't work out, then research bariatric surgeons with payment plans. I have met several people who don't have insurance and despretely wanted WLS so they opted to pay monthly and still do without hesitation.
Another thought, write a hearfelt letter and send it off to Oprah, and various news stations and directly to bariatric surgeons of your story. Perhaps they can help you do it for free? Hey, it doesn' t hurt to try?
If money were no object, I'd pay for you to have it myself! That's how strongly I feel WLS will change your life.
If this is truly your goal, just figure out the other steps to help you achieve it, and don't stop until you get there!
Good luck and keep in touch!
Maryellen
Sadly, you are not alone! There are numerous others just like you.
First, I think you should apply to whatever (rSoc Sec./medicare/medicaid) don't assume that you won't qualify. Try sweetie! What have you got to lose?
If that doesn't work out, then research bariatric surgeons with payment plans. I have met several people who don't have insurance and despretely wanted WLS so they opted to pay monthly and still do without hesitation.
Another thought, write a hearfelt letter and send it off to Oprah, and various news stations and directly to bariatric surgeons of your story. Perhaps they can help you do it for free? Hey, it doesn' t hurt to try?
If money were no object, I'd pay for you to have it myself! That's how strongly I feel WLS will change your life.
If this is truly your goal, just figure out the other steps to help you achieve it, and don't stop until you get there!
Good luck and keep in touch!
Maryellen
good for you---------------the pity party MIGHT end------you have made your 1st step-------called your doc or go to a health DEPARTMENT-------YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE ---MY NIECE IS 29 4 KIDS 320 LBS HIGHT BLOOD ,EVERYDAY-DESKWORK AND HAS BEEN OFFERED FREE SURGERY==========IF THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY
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