WHO WAITED FOR YOU WHILE YOU HAD SURGERY?

Hi all. Just wondering because my husband is taking off from work on my surgery day. In passing conversation, he made it sound like he was going to wait until I went into the O.R. and then go home (to be with the dog)where he would be available by cell or home phone. Before you judge him, I have to tell you that he is and has been devoted to me for 30+ years. He treats me like a princess everyday and I love the guy & visa - versa with all my heart. But can you believe it? Sooooo.....if I crap out on the surgery table, am I to be comforted by the fact that they can contact him by phone to tell him that it's curtains for his wife? I only live about 15 minutes away, so maybe he could just walk there with our dog to I.D. my body. I just this minute brought this to his attention and he told me that he doesn't understand what it is that I want. He said,"Hon, just tell me and I'll do it." I want him to WANT to be there, not because I made the suggestion. Jeesh...I wonder if he's just nervous and is burying his head in the sand. He has never been an inpatient in a hospital in his life BTW. How long did your loved ones stay with you...or didn't they? Thanks for letting me "think" out loud. Diane

penny, My mom dropped me off at St catherines hospital at 6am I didnt go into surgery until 11 and i got out of the operation at 2:00 all the waiting around was to much for her. I didnt want her to stay. I didnt get a room until 4:30. My husband stayed home with the kids. There really is no waiting room in St catherines. My friend did the operation today at the same hospital he didnt get a room until 7 tonite. Dr Braithwaite has so many surgery on Tuesday and Wednesday. He was very buzy. I rather have my husband there for me when I came home from the hospital. My mother came later that night at the hospital I told her that she didnt have to she lives in Levittown. She was surprised how good I looked. She didnt stay that long. You will not regret Dr,Braithwaite he is a amazing doctor. Michele

Hi Diane, My husband came with me the morning of surgery, stayed with me up to the very last second and then stayed in the waiting area until they told him that my surgery was complete. My mother came to stay with him too. My surgery was early in the morning so I was there by about 6AM and did not get into recovery until early afternoon, so he did not leave the hospital until he got to see me again. It wouldn't have mattered what I said to him, he would have done it because he is that way, but I understand that your husband is there for you. I think you do have to explain to him and don't take it personally, they can't always tell what is important to us. Anyway, all the best to you and good luck Sue

Diane: My husband and mother and father (I was just 30 yo) when I had it. BUT the hospital is one hr and 15 min or so from where I live, they waited around but it is hours, they went down Holland ave to McD's for lunch (5-10 min away I guess w/ traffic and parking etc), I hear your concern maybe onsider communicating just this to hubby, but if my family was 15 min away I personally would be ok with that, I'd want them more comfortable, and not a darn thing they can do anyways if I died if 5 min or 50 min away? Maybe it is your fears that are coming up for you, talking about that may help as well find some inner peace. he sounds like a great support! Your feelings are your feelings acknowledge and work through them will help! HUGS! PS One month later I had emergency surgery as i had adhesions that caused a stricture/bowel obstruction only hubby was ther as my parents were in NH, so no choices he waited I was ok, I knew my folks would of been there if they could but a 5 hr drive prohibited it! In spirit they were with me! When I had my 2 rounds of Plastics my hubby went, my folks stayed for first round (LBL and breast aug) but second one was just high lipo stillunder general anesthesia but they didnt come and I was good w that again hubby went sat but also went to mcds for a break... Take Care, Jamie 100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY 320(preop)/163 (lowest)/174 (current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/ "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

I had my boyfriend drop me off and had the surgeon call him when I was out of surgery. I didn't feel it necessary for him or anyone to wait around. He came to visit me that evening but I was still out of it. I also did not want anyone else to visit me while I was in the hospital except for my boyfriend. Everyone is different - some people really hate being in a hospital and find it depressing. Others don't mind at all. If you want your husband to stay and wait, then ask him to stay if it makes you feel better.

Hey Diane, With all of my surgeries that are bypass related(6 including the initial...long and confusing story) my husband was there. He stayed with me all the time while I was in the hospital, let alone while I was in surgery. The only times he left was when I was in the ICU(they didnt let him stay) and when he would leave to spend time with our four year old son. My husband is there so much(b/c I am there so much) they give him employee discount at the hospital cafeteria. He did fall alseep a few times waiting in the waiting while I was in surgery. The surgeon had to wake him up when it was over. My husband never gets any sleep b/c he works so freakin hard at everything so the second he sits down anywhere he falls alseep.

Diane, Both my Hubby and my Mother was there the whole day but know that maybe he is just nervous and he feels better being at home. I know for myself I HATE hospitals, just talk to him and keep the conversation open, that is so very important!!! I wish you all the best hun Debra P

Diane - I can tell you what my plan is . . . dh will wait until after I am placed in a room and then leave. This is what he has done in the past. He really doesn't like hospitals. Of course this all depends on what we wind up doing with our children.

Dear Diane, My Hubby, my daughter and my Mother were there the whole day. My husband took the week off just to be with me  it was so easy having him around. But he may be nervous and wants some distraction while you are in surgery. Please speak with him let him know how you feel and I am sure he will be there as he has been. Good luck.. xoxo Ingrid

I have not had surgery yet, will be in May, but I can tell you that from my experience working in a surgery dept for 2 years, the surgeons did not like it when there was no family there for a patient having major surgery. You may want to give your sureons office a call and see what they recommend, or check with the staff at the hopital (the surgical dept). If there were to be a life threatening complication they want family there on location to make certain decisions, or at least that is how they were at the hospital I worked at. Just some ideas. Sally