Can I back slowly away...

...from the surgery and give dieting one last try, and stillhave insurance cover the process if I get part way through the process now? Not sure that made any sense...I just wake up every day and push the positives and negatives of WLS around in my head and still end up on the fence. I have been through the initial visit, but that's it. I'm not sure how far into the process I could get and reverse without paying insurance penalties if I ever decided to pursue it again. And I'm not sure I want to back out even... just kind of wishywashy, ya know? I don't know what makes me even consider that one more diet will work this time when all the others have failed. I'm leaning a little heavier (no pun intended- well okay, maybe a little ) towards the surgery than dieting...just not100% convinced. Seeing all th wonderful success stories rocks my world, but then seeing the pics with all the extra skin is sooooo difficult. I know I could never afford PS, and hate looking at myself in th mirror now. Somehow, all that skin wouldn't help...and I would have a lot! So fat or fleshy...not sure. How lame is this indecisiveness???!!! I think I need to sit on some support groups.

I hear you loud and clear. I think that there might be a little voice in your head right up until the day of surgery. I don't know how much research you've done, how comfortable you are with the doctor or if there is a tentative date of surgery. Do you attend the support groups, even those not required by the insurance company? I have an upcoming surgery date, but I have to say the decision of whether or not to do it was tearing me apart. I now am very peaceful with my decision. Who would I be kidding? I've tried & failed many, many times with weight loss programs. I know that this is far from an easy way out. In someways it is somewhat harder. I am very unhappy with the restrictions that my weight has on me. I even thought about the excess skin issue and asked a question on this board. Someone kindly wrote that she would take the loose skin over fat any day...and so would I. I also would not be able to afford plastic surgery, but I am also not going to be posing in a bikini any time soon. IF THIS Flip-flopping of the surgery is really a big, big issue ...there is no shame in backing out. It is life-changing. There is supposed to be a reasonable amount of nervousness but deep down there is a truth that only you know. I do know exactly what you are feeling. ---So I'm right here with you. Take care

Thanks so much, Penny. And you know, you hit the nail on the head with the "Who would I be kidding..." It has been a lifelong battle, so I don't know what in tarnation makes me think the next diet would be the one. I still need to lose the pre-op wt and trying to figure out how to do that! No surgery date---I'm a ways away from that as I've only just met with the doc- who seems just wonderful. Thank you for your words of encouragement and I wish you all the best also!

your last statement said it all sit in on support.... to me thats the most important tool pre and post op!!!!! always remember this is a tool we are given and there are other tools to help this one work...... good luck to you in whatever you decide Stacy

You need to go for it!!!!! Yes hanging skin is ugly but I feel so much healthier. I have my days when I look at my self and don't like what I see, but it's alot better looking than what I was. People call me "hey slim" or "hey skinny" - that feels great! I would do it all over again, If I had to. This is a wonderful Journey; so much more peaceful than my past life that is for sure!!!! Good luck with your decision.

You gals are the best. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and for taking the time to write them. I really am leaning towards going forward with this. I have been miserable for far too long, dragging all this baggage around. Time to part with it once and for all!