looking to connect with some people to chat...

Hi, I am in the beginning of this journey and on an emotional roller coaster. My Mom died before Christmas and we were so very close that I do feel such a great loss. I also have days where I desperately want this done and then other days where I am sure that it will be a mistake and I'll either die on the table or fail in some other way. I guess everyone can relate to that. Now I hear about the loss of hair and I am freaking out because I never thought of that. One person said that I was almost at the point of being too late to have it done (I am 56). Maybe I am just having a bad day... Thanks to everyone *****sponds and can relate.

all i can say is im sorry for your loss but this surgery has changed my life i made the decision and never looked back i lost 110 lbs and have been maintaining for over 2 yrs i would do it all over again in a heartbeat... but only you can make the desicion,, hair grows back i found that out more then once ,,,,,,, i hope this helps ,,,, come on the board anytime you need any help support or questions we will do the best we can with our experiences Stacy

Thanks Stacy, I am so happy for you! You are beautiful! I am glad this site was mentioned to me. I intend on using it for a very long time. Janice

Hi Janice. I am very sorry for the loss of your Mom. This is an awful hard time for you I am sure. I am 52 yrs old and planning on having lap RNY surgery this summer. I completely understand your feelings of uncertainty. I don't have the emotional issues you are dealing with as you are after the loss of your Mom so perhaps that is what you are going through. I do have questions that float around this brain too. I am wondering about the long term effects of the surgery. The malabsorption issues sort of scare me. What if I get sick and need meds. Will I have a hard time absorbing medicine because of my new system? What about 30 yrs from now. I want to have this surgery to live a long healthy life. Will I be malnourished even if I DO keep up with all of the required vitamin regimine? Or will my body be barely nourished? Will I fight malnourishment for the rest of my life? Do we really KNOW what the surgery does to our bodies after 20 or 30 yrs or more? Not sure if anyone can answer these questions but I put them out there because these are things I am concerned about and that cause me to waver at times. -Marianne C.

Hi Marianne - Sorry to butt in, but you ask some very important and valid questions. Questions you should ask your physician and research on your own before deciding to do or not to do this surgery. I am 47 (almost 48) and I can tell you I was afraid and had many of the same questions as you did. For me the choice became simple - I was going to die if I didn't have this surgery - I had many comorbidities and I was super incredibly morbidly obese. I was on my way to a wheelchair and more likely than not I would have had a stroke, not to mention all the problems from diabetes and high blood pressure. I'm happy to say that I am healthy, I've lost over 200 pounds and I feel incredible. I take my vitamins and protein and I do what the docs tell me. I am compiant and careful about everything I put into my body these days. The "vitamin regime" is way better than all the other meds I was on and that were not helping and causing side effects and would have had long term health effects too. While I don't know how I will be in 20 or 30 years, I do know that I have a better chance of being here in 20 or 30 or even 40 years than I would have had I NOT had this surgery! Good luck, Robin

Hi Janice. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. It is absolutely awful to lose a loved one. I was devastated when my mom (my best friend) died. But I eventually pulled myself together and moved on. One of the things I did was to have gastric bypass 14 months ago. It was the best and most wonderful decision I have ever made. I have lost over 200 pounds and look great and feel even better. Yes, there are some issues - hair loss is minor and your hair grows back and if you are compliant (this surgery is a TOOL, not a magic cure) and do what your doctors and advisors tell you to do and follow your nutritional advice you will do well. I wish you the best of luck in this journey. Where are you located? Best wishes - Robin

Janice - Hi. First let me say that my heart goes out you regarding your Mom's passing. I do know what it feels like. I'm right along with you in this ride and have some of these same questions. The people here are so compassionate and informative and most all would do it again in a heartbeat. I am going to trust my gut feeling with the intention of going for it and gathering all the research I can along the way. P.S. You are NOT too old. Sincerely, Diane

Good morning, Janice. Sorry for your loss, especially at such a festive time of year. Your memories will help you get over the hurt you are now feeling. As for your debate on the WLS delima, I was 64 last year and had the surgery. It was the best decision that I could have made. I had the surgery in July 06, turned 64 in June 06, have lost 75+ so far and feel great. I can do so many things that I couldn't do before, like bend over and tie my shoes, walk faster and easier. I too wasn't sure if I could have the surgery because of my age, but my DR ( Dr. Wm. Graber, New Hartford, NY) never even questioned my age. Yes, I had some hair loss, I was even paranoid and bought a couple of wigs. However, I never used them. My hairdresser told me about some shampoo and other products that would strengthen and add volume to my hair and that helped tremendously. I take my vitamins and calicum faithfully and that also helps. If you follow the Dr's instructions, you can't go wrong. WLS is a huge decision and you shouldn't go into it without being dedicated. It is life altering. Good luck with your decision, regardless of which way you choose to go. God bless and keep the faith. Cathie Kirk

Janice, I am sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to lose your mother. I researched WLS for three years before deciding to have it done. On October 31, 2006, I had WLS at age 59. I started the diet required by my surgeon in June, stuck to that until surgery and lost 53 pounds as a pre-op. Since surgery I have lost an additional 56 pounds, for a total of 109 pounds. Not a very fast loser but the weight is steadily coming off. At this point I am off all TEN meds and only take the vitamins and calcium prescribed by my doctor. Before surgery I could hardly walk due to knee pain. Now I am up and down stairs with no problems, I play HARD with my little granddaughter, I get out of the house and walk my ever shrinking butt off. My only regret is waiting so long to make this huge, life changing decision. But I had to feel totally comfortable with my choice too. You have plenty of time to do your research and make an informed choice. You might try the Over Fifty site to ask questions of some "older" people too. We may be older but all are young at heart. It will take time for you to heal emotionally over your recent loss. My heart goes out to you. Best wishes!!

You are not too late!!! My mother just had open RNY in Sept. and she is 69 years old. She is doing fantastic. Don't get too discouraged just keep on pushing for it. Don't let the hair loss scare you either, it happens yes, but usually only for about a six month period or so, from around the 3 month out point on from there. I also had open RNY a little over a year ago, I lost a lot of hair, but no one could tell. And it has come back strong and healthy. Just make sure you keep up on your proteins it is very important. Everyone goes through the fear factor part not knowing the outcome, and you won't fail if you stick to your pouch rules. Good luck with everything! I wish you the best. Shannon 257/145/130???