Are We Obligated To Tell..

When the time comes for my surgery, of course my family will know about the venture, but do acquaintances and neighbors have to know my business? Do I have to explain to all these people over and over again how I lost the weight? I tend to blend into the background and kind of like it that way. I realize that this might seem silly to ask but there are a million nonsense questions flying through my head as the time gets nearer. How did other members deal with this? Thanks - Diane

In my personal opinion - you don't have to tell anyone anything, unless you feel comfortable telling them. Sometimes I just tell people that I have been working really hard with diet and exercise, which isn't far from the truth and then I thank them for noticing. It's really up to you how you want to handle it. It really isn't anyone's business, but everyone handles that situation differently. I try to think that they are just trying to be nice and complement me on my weight loss.

Hi Diane You don't need to tell anyone what you are doing. You tell only who you feel comfortable with telling. If you know someone is going to be supportive, when the time comes and they ask, then if you feel comfortable, share your story. I told no one until 2 days before because of people's attitudes and the way they are. Others knew well beforehand. As you are losing the weight, people will begin to notice. As for me, if they asked how I did it, I tell them I had weight loss surgery. I think I had one person who was ignorant and told me I was a fool. And that person weighs about 400 pounds. JEALOUSY..........that's all I can think of. But do whatever you feel comfortable doing. I fyou have any questions, just come on and ask. God Luck.............Marie

Thank you so much, girls, for your answers. I think that I can take a little bit from each of your replies. I don't understand why this is a concern for me...but it is for whatever reason. Sincerely, Diane

Welcome.. As for me i told and still do tell everyone and anyone what i did. The only time i didnt or dont get into anything is when i was in a rush and didnt have the time to get into it. But my feelings are that this surgery has saved my life. If i get a negative response i just take it with a grain of salt because its ignorance and fear talking. If the person who was being negative wanted some more info on it i gave it and still do and if not they are entitled to their opinions. It does not bother me at all. My family i found more negative due to the fact that they were very scared for me which is normal. IT is a very serious and complicated surgery and if your not educated properly on it its hard to understand. Its a personal decision for you, you are not obligated to tell anyone if you dont want to. But again personally i feel it saved my life and i dont mind telling my story to people if i have the time. Good luck and you do what you feel and what makes you happy. LisaMarie

I did not tell anyone until after I had the surgery. I told each coworker individually through casual conversation. I did not have to but since I knew I would be losing alot of weight I figured its just easy to tell them. Some of them thought I had LIPO! I would say 99.9% were positive about it. That 1% I could care less. Having WLS surgery is just as hard as doing it without WLS. We still diet, exercise and make a permanent life style change. What annoyed me most was the most recent people magazine that featured women who lost 100 plus pounds w/o surgery. I wish they would have included WLS patients.

Hi Diane, You have to remember that some people will always have something to say and you should not let it effect you. You have to learn to let a lot of things brush off your shoulders after having this surgery. I know sometimes its a hard thing to do but it will come in time/experience especially when you have the same things said to you over and over again...it actually starts to become funny at a certain point. Most of the time it is just ignorance talking. Good luck and be well.

Diane I can certainly understand why this is an issue you you. We all like to be open and honest and not feel like we are hiding things. Especially from friends and people we associate with on a regular basis. BUT that being said. I WISH I had not told anyone. I have not yet had my surgery but I have been very open about it to people. I am finding that all I've done is worry the people that care about me. Like others said here.... without all the research and knowlege we have, they won't understand and will have opinions based on TV shows and an article here or there or something they casually heard. So their ignorance causes them to worry. There is no way I can give them the knowlege I have. I just wish I had waited until after the surgery to be so open about it. Live and learn. -Marianne C.