New Kid On The Block...
I've never done this before so I hope that I do it properly.
Hi...I'm very new to this forum, but have been reading everyone's incredibly supportive messages. Although I have a tentative surgery date of March 19th, I need one more appt. with my PCP who has been wonderful. Then the insurance fun begins. I can't make myself crazy wondering if it will be approved. I just have to roll with the punches.
I am 5ft. 3in. and weigh any where from 222 to 230. My BMI is 36 and I have severe sleep apnea,
wear orthotics because of fallen arches and a torn meniscus in my knee. I have been hobbling like an old lady and can't deny any longer that I can not do this on my own. I do feel ashamed that I fail time and again to be a healthier me.
I wonder if having had a great shape and then getting bigger and bigger through the years makes it harder... emotionally -I mean. I feel as if I'm talking about another person.
If I could not do this for my daughter's wedding, then I know that I can not do it without the tool that WLS will give me. I wished that she would burn thhe wedding pictures that I'm in! ( I thought that I looked half way decent that day too)
It wasn't just appearance either. She wanted the parents and bridal party to take pics by the lake. Do you have any idea what it was like to walk that distance? To top that, my knee hurt so badly that I grimaced going up the church steps and that was caught on film. I dreaded getting up to dance with my husband...you know when they call you on the dance floor-alone-and all eyes are on you and your spouse. Well I could have died! It was supposed to be a special day....my daughter was getting married for Pete's sake and I didn't have a good time. Of course I smiled through it all, as I always do, but it was a total mask that I was wearing.
Something happened to me after that day. I realized more than ever before how much my weight has been ruining my social life and all the things I used to do. I am in a lot of discomfort and nothing looks good on me.
The saddest part of this is that I lost my wonderful younger Sister a few years ago. She had so many complications that by the time she decided to have WLS her situation was just too far gone.
She is never more than a thought away. I wonder what she would think of me having this done.
I loved her very much, but like a jack ass, I couldn't understand why she didn't take control of her eating. I know now, a little bit too late, (NO-A LOT TOO LATE) that I should have had more compassion. She was bedridden for a year and a half before she died.
Now, I am ironically heading down the same road. I have been thinking long and hard about the next step and certainly am not taking this step lightly.
I do have a lot of medicine questions which have to be resolved re: absorption and other things.
I will say my prayers for everyone here and hope that you will say some for me.
Hi Diane,
Welcome to the boards here on OH. The people here are incredibly supportive, understanding , friendly and courageous.
How hard it must have been to lose your sister. I'm sure she would be supportive of your decision to have WLS.
If you have not done so already, may I suggest reading some of the great profiles that people have. I always found it comforting to read the stories and find myself in so many of them.
Good luck on your journey. Keep us posted.
Rachelle
Keep reading, asking questions and learning. YOU have found agreat support network here!
Congrats on your tentative date of March 19th
keep us posted!
Britt Most Active
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