Trying not to eat, but stressed!

So my 17 1/2 year old daughter dropped a bomb on me this morning. She is 5 months pregnant!! I am feeling so stressed thinking about everything that I have to do over the next couple of months and the impact she has made on her life. First thing is to get her to a Dr. She went to planned parenthood and got an ultrasound (one of those 4d kind) and found out how far along she is 2 weeks ago and was trying to find a way to tell us. Well she told us and I am wanting to eat everything in sight! I haven't...........but I want to! Sorry to vent........needed to get that off my chest. It's a girl by the way. I will try to upload the ultrasound picture to my profile. Thanks you listening Janet

I know 100% what you are going through. My daughter was just a few months shy of 20 when she became pregnant. She and the baby now live with me (I am widowed) and she is going to college full time, as well as working part time. My little grandson is 8 months old, and I love him to pieces. I was so disappointed with her at first that I didn't tell anyone until the baby was born. I still feel very oppressed at times, because my life is no longer my own. I am financially stressed, and I have very little time for myself because I have to take care of the baby most every evening so that she can work or go to class. Of course I have to keep most of this to myself, because I don't want to discourage her from getting her life together. We both thoroughly enjoy the baby, and he is a great joy in our lives. I don't regret his existence at all, but I do feel angry sometimes that I have to be responsible for someone else's choices. I understand your being so stressed you want to eat everything in sight. I did the same thing, and it did nothing but make me feel sick. Making the decision to have wls has been the first thing in the past year to bring me out of the dumps. You're in for a lot of changes, and some of it is wonderful. Having a baby around again has made me feel more content. I never thought that I could love a baby as much as my own, but I do. Being grandma is kind of neat. Hang in there. Enjoy the good stuff. Joyce

13 years ago, I myself did the same thing to my mother. I told her I was 4 months pregnant. I knew that it hurt my mom to tell her, but I had to. I was not ready to be married. My mom had convinced me to put the baby up for adoption. Well, after all was said and done, I couldn't do it. I have a beautiful, and healthy 12 year old going on 30. I didn't get pregnant on purpose, but I would not have changed it for the world. It took me 4 months to tell my mom because I knew it would disappoint her. I thought she might even "hate" me. Thanks for being an understanding mom. Your daughter will appreciate everything that you are going through and will have to go through for her. I hope she says daily that she loves you and thanks you. Molly

Thanks Molly, I know things happen..she is in a committed relationship and has been with the father (who is also 17) off and on, mostly on, for the last 3 years. They love each other (as much as 17 year olds know how to love). We are rearranging everything so she and the baby can stay here until she finishes school and then they want to get married. I guess I just never thought I would be a grandma so young (38). But mostly I'm afraid of how this will impact her life. I appreciate your words of encouragement....it makes me more hopeful. Thanks Janet

First off congrats for being a supportive mother. I am sure this has to be very hard, but the thought she did come to you and you are supporting her says wonders. She is in for a rough road but not one that is impossible. I was just a slight bit older 19 when i found out i was pregnant. I was so afraid to tell my mother i remember the feeling . SHe too supported me. SHe let me know that i just made my life much harder then it had to be however it didnt mean i couldnt follow all my dreams. It was hard, i did have alot of support but was able to overcome and finish college and get my nursing degree. You have to focus on the positives because it is what it is. Its great you came here to vent and are trying to keep away from the food. Vent as often as you need to. You obviously are a great mother, great support and you and your daughter will get through this together. Best of luck to you. Keep us posted. Now let me go see that ultrasound pic..I just love babies.. LisaMarie

OMG the pic is amazing...........I love it.....so precious!!!!!!!!!! LisaMarie

Thanks Lisa, I love my daughter very much, we are very close. I would do anything for her and this news just means another child to love. I think I am just a little shell shocked! But the idea of being grandma is growing on me quickly, especially when I look at that precious face on ultrasound. We have been discussing names and she is undecided between Natalie and Chloe. (I like both, but I think I like Chloe better). We are a little rushed with getting things ready and planning a baby show..her due date is 5/29/07; At least tentatively...she has to go for another ultrasound this week and we will have a better idea then. Thanks again, Janet

Janet: Hello! Consider using this opportunity to use some tools for your success. Stress is a part of life, we will be faced w/ many an opportunity to be challenged emotionally to eat, we can use each time to learn and grow, there are no mistakes. For me when I want to eat everything in sight it is time I sit down, be still, and feel my feelings. I journal, meditate, pray, exercise, working thru and identifying for me is far better than stuffing them w/ food which is a temproary fix. Don't get me wrong I do still emotionally eat and the surgery does nothing to prevent that, I have to work at it daily to be self aware and responsible. Consider this an opportunity to be healthy for your family however it is growing and changing. Sometimes for me when I feel helpless, scare, fearful or out of control I just want to fill up those emotions. When I do I simply feel more sad, fearful and then angry at myself, as my behavior solved nothing and I still have the feelings. I am learning to feel my feelings, allowing them to be and pass and although it isnt't esy I find for myself it is better. Consider what would you want from your mother if you were 17, pregnant. Maybe that is where you can focus your energies on now. Having surgery is great, it helps I feel life and situations happen just as they should and are supposed to, I beleive we are always being given what is necessary at any moment. Faith for me and turning over what I cannot handle helps as well. Thank you for your honesty and sharing w/ us, in this way you help yourself but may also help others here! Hugs Repeat after me "I am a strong, beautiful woman and have the ability to handle any situation that comes my way" See you tonight dear! You are a warrior! Take Care, Jamie 100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY 320(preop)/163 (lowest)/174 (current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/ "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

Oh Girlfriend......I know your immediate feeling is naturally disappointment but remember that children are God's Gifts. Yes we all prefer to have our children settled in their adult lives before they accept these Gifts, but that doesn't always happen, as you now see. Kinda strange if you think about the fact that you are preparing to make this major change in your life, which will make you a healthier person, who in turn will be very supportive of someone else who is in for a major change in her life. My Mother always says, God never gives you more than you can handle! Remember to be as postive as possible and remember that you have a HUGE Support System in all of us! Love, Peggy

Is your daughter still in school? Do you have relatives that can help out with caring for the baby? She's young but you'd be surprised how much she'll mature when she has a baby to care for. How did the guy's parents take the news? Sounds like you are totally there for her and that's wonderful. Good Luck.