Stress - The Effects

Scott: You are so right this is the HARDEST thing we have probabl done and it does not end! (So it is not the easy way out!) What I always say is.... It takes extraordinary courage to consciously limit food choices for the rest of your life (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals). For many patients, life after WLS means treating food as a fuel, not as a source of drama, excitement, comfort or a central life focus: i.e. eating to live rather than living to eat. While some procedures may be reversible, for most patients WLS is a lifetime commitment, requiring a lifetime of major lifestyle changes. SURGICAL SUCCESS REQUIRES THAT THE PATIENT INITIATES AND MAINTAINS DRAMATIC HABIT AND ATTITUDE CHANGES..... ~~~~~~~~~~~ If you get the OH or WLS LIFESTYLES MAGS these issues had articles on Relationships... Winter 2005 WLS lifestyles 10 relationship savers OH 2005 issue 2 How the family matters for wt loss OH July 2003 WLS from a spouses perspective OH OCTober 2003 its his life too including spouse in wls journey Spring 2005 WLS lifestyles Lets talk about sex, also the dating game OH issue 4 friends for a reason, season or lifetime? OH 2004 issue 5 supporting a loved one thru wls WLS lifestyles summer 2003 are we leaving out the spouse? WLS Lifestyles Fall 2003 how to deal w/ unsupportive family members Wls lifestyles summer 2004 saving a friendship on the rocks Wls lifestyles winter 2004 dating after wls Jamie~

Jamie, THanks for the great response, I have to say it took me a while to read it all but you definately touched the issues and put it all into perspective for us. I truly believe that this journey each of face is an individual one and each person has to take control of thier life and find out what is best for them. As I stated in a response above, follow your heart not your head. I truly believe this because most of us tend to do what we think others would do or want us to do over what we truly want. By this I mean, I stayed with my ex in a relationship that was pretty much doomed from the get go for 13 years because we had kids and it was best for the kids, I kept telling myself. In reality i was lieing to myself and not being fair to only myself but to my kids and my ex. in order to make others happy we need to be happy ourselves first. After this last year I would tell anyone that if you are having marriage issues since your surgery then you really need to look at your life. ( take everything out of the box, except for yourself and your spouse) don't think about the kids, the house, the cars, money, take it all out of the picture and examine what is really what in your relationship. If your not happy this is not going to change but most likely get worse over time or you are going to resent it in the long run. SO I say follow your heart not your head. As for the depression - I wish I could say that it will go away and everyone will be happy, this unfortunately is not the case and some will get worse and some better. I suggest counslers and friends and family. Great response Jamie Nuff Said