I'm so ashamed!!!!

I'm new to this group; but you all sound so nice. I have been through the most embarassing situation and I was wondering if I was the only one this has happened to. I have been crying for the last couple of hours because I am so tired but I am afraid to lay down. I had my bypass 10 days ago. I have so much gas I can't even tell you. Most of it comes out the backside. Well, Sunday night I went to bed and I slept very good. I thought I had gas but it wasn't gas. I had an accident!!!!I was sooo ashamed. I felt like my 2 year old son!!! My husband of course woke up; but he was very understanding. I mean it was bad. All over my pajamas and everything. He changed the bed and we went back to bed but I couldn't sleep. Finally at about 5 am I just got up. I NEVER did this before!!!!Well, Monday night almost the same thing happened. I went to bed and as soon as I laid down a wave just came over my entire stomach and there was no way I could have made to the bathroom fast enough. Once again I went all over myself. This time my husband got a little upset and told me if he wanted to sleep with a 2 year old he would sleep with my son. I am so ashamed. I can't even look at my husband. I called my surgeon's office and was told incontinence sometimes happens until the intestines gett over the trauma of the surgery. Otherwise I feel great. I thought about wearing depends for a while but I am 32 years old and I know my husband would get upset. Thanks for reading this long story. I'm just so mortified. Julie

Oh Julie - Im sorry to hear you are going through this. I haven't had my surgery yet. 12/18 is my big day. I'm sure you will hear from others that have experienced this. Remember this isn't gonna happen forever. Reading your story reminded me of an accident I had a few years ago while pregnant with my youngest daughter. My husband and I were at a summer craft fair with my oldest daughter (2 at the time) Just all of a sudden I while walking (long walk and very hot day - 8mths pregnant) I had to really go My husband ran to get the car and while I was climbing in it just came out - I was mortified, crying, embarassed. My husband was great about it. I'm sure everyone out there has one of these stories. Denise

There is no reason to be so hard on yourself, no reason to be ashamed. Your husband needs a good talking to. You just had major surgery on your intestines. If you've contacted your surgeon and he feels that it doesn't warrant followup at this time, then go to the pharmacy, get yourself some adult diapers to wear at night and hope for the best. Did your surgeon's office say how long they thought this would last? Whatever the case may be, please do not say hurtful things to yourself. You were so brave to have this surgery and it takes time to recuperate. Take it easy! Hugs, Amy

Julianna: I am sorry to hear of your current challenges. I appreciate your embarrasment and shame, I do however offer you a alternative perspective... Sounds as if you hubby was understanding, that is good, you may be projecting 'your' shame/embarassment onto him if wearing depends...I don't know (I amnot you). For me I'd do what was necessary temporarily during this time. For many liquid in=liquid out and diarrhea can be very common early postop! Now constipation believe it or not is the usual/big issue longterm! I am happy and so proud of you for sharing this with us! It is in isolation we struggle but in support we thrive! Your surgeons office is correct the bowel sleeps a while after the manipulation of a bypass! I truly believe that things will eaven out soon. When you are asleep the signal or urge to go may also be diminished, giving it time can help...once on foods and the bowel gets more awake and over the trauma I bet you'll be over this issue. For now do all you can to be comfortable. Maybe sit down w/ hubby and tellhim how you feel, your shame and embarassment and ask for his loving support, it is all you can do to help yourself, the tension otherwise willnot help you or him, I bet he wants to help but isn't sure how to!? Many times we resort to indirect communication and mindreading and no one wins then! You are so strong to be here, have surgery i know you will find the strength to work through this, together with us and your family! It doesn't have to be a catastrophy, unless u frame it that way, it is a bump in the road on your million mile journey is all, one some soap/water adn washer can handle! Be well, I hope you can work thru and overcome the shame, it truly is not w/in your control right now (bowels) so therefore no shame is required! *Not saying you are not entitled to your emotions just thinking many times our emotions are driven by deeper things! HUGS! Take Care, Jamie Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh 320/163 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

((((((((((((Julianna))))))))))))))) let me first and foremost say to you that i'm sorry you are going through this. I don't have any experience with this but keep in mind you had major surgery on your innards and there is bound to be some fall out from it. Please tell your husband how mortifying this is for you and that his nasty little comments are not going to help the situation. If he feels the need to sleep with the two year old, so be it, y ou've got more bed for you! Temporarily it might be a good idea to put a waterproof sheet on the bed so the mattress doesn't suffer. Girl you hold your head up high and if this lasts any longer then two weeks you call your surgeon back and have him give you some suggestions. Stay strong, stay focused. The new and improved you is just around the corner. ANDI

Julianna Hugs to you honey!!!! I am sorry your hubby is being a pest about this for you...Support is what you need NOT to be made fun of! YOu should have told him to get his butt up and go in with your 2 yr. old! I had an issue when I had my surgery on 9/18.... I made the mistake of drinking diluted apple juice and it gave me very loose bowel movements. There were MANY times that I just barely made it to the toilet so I know how your tummy is feeling right now... If you happen to be drinking juice at all... STOP... The problem corrected itself for me after the juice got out of my system.... Now I have the opposite problem! LOL I have a friend that also had RNY done about 2 years ago.... She recently went on a road trip on her motorcycle and she and her hubby were at an event and they used a Splenda BLEND in her Lemonade instead of plain old Splenda and she had an accident right there while walking along... she just could not hold it.... So please know you are NOT alone in this. Love & Hugs! Lori

hi Julie, ((hugs)) Sorry this happened to you. Gas is a problem with most people right after surgery (some people continue to have gas months later). The nurse at the clinic I go to said to take Chewable Gas-ex. It works WONDERS!!!!! I also noticed that when taking pepcid my gas pains and pressure got worse (my program puts us on pepcid for 3 months after surgery). Since that was happening, they changed my prescription and the gas pains and pressure went away.

HEY JULIE!!! (((HUG)))).... sorry your going thru a difficult stage. I know for me while on the total liquid stage of my food rungs post op....i had to even pass my gas in the potty because it was usually a messy toot.....but once your on more solid food this will ease up. HANG in there! ((((HUG)))) it wont be like this forever!

Oh honey don't be so sad. It is exactly what the doctor said it is. You will get better. Walking is the only way to get rid of that pesky gas. I also had terribly gas and diarrhea for weeks afterward. You will get better. Men are sometimes stupid and not very understanding. He just doesn't know and is scarred. You stay strong and try not to worry it will get better. I slept on old towels for added insurance. try that. Gunustahowie

Julie, I am 9 days post op and have had very bad diarhhea also. They think it may be mainly from all the sugar free alternatives. Do not be embarrassed. Mine was not as bad as yours but I did not make it to the toilet once and started in my underwear. I was mortified but my husband laughed it off with me and called me stinky for a few hours. I now just go the toilet whenever I feel my stomach start rumbling. I think you may also be able to take liquid Imodium-ask your doctor. Best of luck to you, Jenn