I AM SO FREAKIN' ANGRY

I am so angry. I can't believe the audacity of people in my family. My whole entire life I was overweight. I topped the scales at 305 pounds. I have successfully lost 145 pounds since July 2005 and yet my family has done nothing but criticize me with everything. They don't even compliment me on how I look. All they complain about is how terrible my legs look because I have sagging fat and skin that hasn't been removed yet. And everytime one of my aunr's see's a phot of me, she is always criticizing me that there is something wrong with the picture instead of saying how nice I look. Oh well..................People are people and they will never change. Thanks for letting me COMPLAIN Marie

Marie, you have the right to be angry. That is a very stressful situation. Have you talked to your family about how hurtful their attitudes are? Sometimes I don't think people are aware of the fact that they are being hurtful, or if they are aware, there is something fueling their agression that needs to be talked about but they don't have the skill to do so... You can come here and vent anytime. We all know what an amazing thing you've done and will support your bravery anytime. Hugs, Amy

Marie: I am glad you postd, identified your emotions vs stuffing them or ignoring them or feeding them! Working on the thinking that people have free will (to be idiots sometimes!) LOL helps me a lot, also acceptance of I can only control my reaction to pwople/situations. I can ask for support, kindness or love, I can set helanhy boundaries/limits by speaking up assertively (not passive not agressive) and sayin "It hurts me that I have lost weight, and all I get is negative comments and no suport, please if you can not say something nice, do not say anything at all", that way you let others know how you feel, what they do w/ that info is their choice. IF they cont to criticize, then your decision is to be around toxic and sabotaging people or not (regardless or them being relative) that is a choice for you. It is not easy but developng the self esteem and resolve to take care of ourselves no longer being abused or a victim of others is freeing (for me), I am a survivor of a horrible chronic disease called MO that has affected my body/mind/spirit, I am on a healing journey of self discovery, I am no lnger a victim but surviving and now even thriving, some people do not like the new me, I am stronger, healthtier and thinner, all those things are threatening to others, that is THEIR issue, (jealousy etc)BUT I choose that I will not compromise my personal integrity, wellness or success for anyone any more! That is the old me, I will no longer allow those comments or binding chains, or be in the presence of toxic people, it serves no purpose in my new lifes goals....I am not pefect, I still struggle in these areas but I make progress every day to be self aware, self responsible and sef accountable, i deal with my stuff and let others manage their stuff, i can not please everyone anymore and it is ok I tell myself, I no longer remain angry that long, nothing wrong with anger if acknowledged and felt and moved thru it, but the old me would sit with it, let it fester and be embittered, and that hurt no one but me, no one knew what they said/did bothered me and that ws my responsibility< i was 1/2 at fault if others didnt know what I liked or didnt how could they cha ge? Now If i let them knoiw and they dont respect me then i make another decision. I hope my rambling helped! HUGS! PS send me an email I can send u a few handouts on sabotaging relationships etc! Be well *forgive an early am typos as well!* Take Care, Jamie Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh 320/163 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=c1132518510 "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

Marie, Jamie and Amy have said it so well..... I know for me the others that are like that in my life are not happy with themselves and can not live with the thought that I might be really liking MYSELF now and feeling so much better about life in general, you know the old saying that "misery loves company" well that is the perfect case to show that! Some people are just not happy people and will try to bring others down with them as Jamie said we can only control HOW we react to them not their reactions. Through my counselor I have learned/learning to ACT not REACT, such a hard thing to do when you are dealing with your emotions and someone that is stepping on them! Speaking your mind is a good thing and will help YOU feel better. Not always the easiest thing to do. I wish you all the best hun Debra P

Hi Marie, You should be steaming! You have worked so hard to look and feel better--I can't believe that your family is so negative--I truly believe that they must have been very comfortable with the old Marie--they didn't have to feel threatened by your looks--now I am sure that you have changed (and not just physically--your mental outlook has changed and you have probably gained a lot more confidence ). The new Marie is a threat to them --so they try to undermine your new confidence--DON'T LET THEM SPOIL IT FOR YOU! As for the loose skin--you will have that removed and --then what will they say??? Why don't you really freak them out--put on a really lovely outfit and go have professional pictures taken! You know that you look great--there must be jealuosy over your looks or discomfort with your new personality--but whatever the cause--don't let it get to you-- Use their negative comments to keep yourself positive--exercise a little more to blow off steam. buy really flattering clothes--as for that excess skin--wear good foundations to camouflage it until you can really do something about it--and remember that you are looking good --and you will look even better next year! --They will remain the same! Poor things! Be happy!--you are getting better and better each day--and they are feeling worse and worse! --I feel sorry for people who try to undermine others sucess in order to make themselves feel good--they are the sorriest people in the world --and truly --they are not worth worrying about! Be Blessed, MarianSC 242.4/151/goal 125-130???