Obesity Help.. but no help?

                I watched a show on television.  It was about a 16 year old that had gastric bypass surgery done for free.  I cried, a lot.  I often cry a lot. I'm 35 years old.  And my weight is killing me. Physically, and psychologically.  At my highest weight I was 525 pounds.  In the past 2 and half years, I have managed.. slowly to drop 125 pounds. Not by intense exercise, but a combination of depression and becoming homeless.  The life Ive had, if you want to call it that, was nothing but fat this, and fat that.. diet after diet, from the time I was 13 years old.  My father who I did not get along with, made sure to remind me everyday just how I looked, not to mention I had one friend.  School was horrible for me.  I didn't go to the prom, but parked out side and watch, and cried.  I didn't go to graduation, but I watched the seniors in their cap and gowns walk across that stage from the other side of the fence..  and cried.   I tried so hard to be normal.. but when you are that big, you are not normal.  To everyone you are just fat, lazy.. eat too much.  I can deny it all and say I didn't do this to myself, but in many ways I did.  I hate myself for it..  I don't want to live like this anymore.   After working 10 years on the 2nd floor of a building, with no elevator, and a 60 pound lypoma on my inner left thigh, I couldnt get up the steps anymore.  Both my parents passed away and left me with 2 younger sisters, 13 and 15, I did my best to raise them, when they were 15 and 17 they both had babies, one born in July 2000 and the other in August 2000.  These boys are what saved me, I was suicidal.  They gave me what little will I had left to go on....  Finally after a 5 year battle, I am currently on social security disability.   Medicare/Medicaid goes active August 1st, of this year.    I have diabetes, congestive heart failure, and am always in a  constant state of pain...                   I need gastric bypass surgery, my life depends on it.  I am due to receive Medicare/Medicaid in August 2007 after fighting to prove my state of disability for the past 5 years.  Last year, I lived in New Jersey where I received the full benefits of Medicaid. In August 2006 I was scheduled for the life saving surgery, then, covered by Medicaid.  but I was faced with a financial situation that would have left me homeless. (again..) and so I moved to Nevada.            Once here I applied for just medicaid and began the process of finding a surgeon and clinic.  Unfortunately, due to the nature of Nevada's Medicaid program my application was denied.  I am allowed the minimal coverage for emergencies and medication through Clark County Social Services, nothing more.               I'm dying.  My current weight stands at 394 pounds where as it topped off at 525 pounds.  I am suffering from diabetes, congestive heart failure, joint damage in my knees and ankles, and a prematurely aged and aching back from carrying so much weight.  This does not include the constant state of physical pain and depression from which I suffer.  I am ready to give up walking, the pain is so intense.  I can not even go up a flight of steps without losing my breath.  I have to sit in a chair in order to cook, or do the dishes because the pain from standing is so severe. Maintaining daily personal hygiene is a challenge and difficult without help. Words alone cannot convey the nightmare I live through on a daily basis and I firmly believe that this surgery will save my life.  I envy the legally handicapped with their wheel chairs and motorized carts.  Other people are afflicted with what is considered acceptable handicap.  They can move freely without pain or shortness of breath.  I am fat, a self imposed handicap, therefore unacceptable.                     I can not stand to see myself in a mirror, and it is worse that my boyfriend has to see me this way.  I am too embarrassed to let him watch me dress or undress.  How can he stand to be so close to me?  He deserves more then I can give him.  I love this man, and want to spend the rest of my life with him, and give him everything he deserves.  One such thing is a wife who can get close to him and not feel ashamed of herself.  He is younger then I and deserves to have me around for as long as possible.  In my pain, I find myself withdrawing from him, and i do not like it.                           I am 35 years old and hold aspirations for my life.  I would like to go to school and become a nurse, or paramedic.   Before my present condition manifested I devoted four years of my life to helping others as an EMT.  My condition keeps me from furthering my goals.  My siblings are grown now, and I would like to have a life too.   I can not do this without debilitating pain and, just as hurtful, the social stigma negatively affecting this or any path I choose.                        I live in Nevada now, and summer is quickly approaching.  While some focus on getting tan and going swimming, I am far more concerned with the 110 degree weather.  Given my current condition my quality of life will only worsen.   The medical facts of my necessity for gastric bypass surgery are self evident and clear cut.                        Yet.. I can not find a surgeon that takes Medicare/Medicaid anywhere in the Las Vegas area.  Help?  Please....

I am so sorry to hear of the difficulties that you are going through.  I'm not completely sure, but I was under the impression that Medicare/Medicaid no longer pay for WLS.  Have you checked the state insurance board? http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/list-insure rs.php?State=NV&alphaPos=M There may be information regarding others who had the procedure done while on Medicare/Medicade. Hopefully they can help guide you in the process. You may also want to try http://www.medicare.gov/Physician/Search/PhysicianSearch.asp ?CookiesEnabledStatus=True it allows you to search for physicans that accept Medicare.  Even if you don't find a surgeon there, you may find a local doctor that would be able to offer suggestions concerning which of his collegues accept it. Hope this helps at least a little.

A friend of mine has been on disability and medicare (I believe) and is going to go to Dr. Smith in GA who accepts medicare. She is getting a surgery called the DS.  I had the DS in March 2005. I've gone from 440 pounds to 179 pounds.  It's wonderful that you have a boyfriend - someone that sounds like he supports you.  I completely was out of the dating scene while I was super super morbidly obese. Even now that I'm just "overweight" by my BMI, I still haven't been able to really get into dating yet.  I can feel your pain. Many folks I know have been in very difficult situations and ended up getting surgery - until then, do the best you can to keep moving. The less I moved, the more I gained. I was trying to do the working out thing to keep from gaining more weight.  Stay cool if you can, my faith helped me a lot when all seemed hopeless.  I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions. I thought that Medicare was a federal and not a state program.  Jill  revision from band to DS 3/10/05 www.picturetrail.com/kilaani  440/435/179/165 hw/sw/cw/gw  -261lbs, 14lbs to go LBL pending 7/11/07 with Drs. Cram and Aly, Iowa City Plastic Surgery