Back to work ... gained THREE pounds!

DaniDragonfly
on 1/9/11 3:57 am - Lockhartville, Canada
I was crushed on Friday. I spent 4 days at work this week and suffered the entire time. I do not like my job ... I do not like my boss, either ... when, on top of all of that, I gained 3 friggen pounds, I felt incredibly negative on Friday night.

I am happy to report that I am now down FOUR pounds from my last weigh in ... down 56 lbs total! I am eight weeks out on Tuesday coming.

How do you guys deal with negative self talk? I am bad for it ... I recognize it, but when I am trapped in it, I can't seem to escape - no matter what the mirror says, I feel like I am failing at this. AAAHHH!

HELP!

            
ruthann49
on 1/9/11 6:21 am - Canada
Dear Dani,

Think how far you have come! 56 pounds gone!! Tell your self you will not always be working there and soon you will have a wonderful boss and great people to work with. Be good to yourself since you should be your own best friend! That 3 pounds will be gone in a flash and you will continue on your journey. I've been a very negative person all my life and found it was helpful to talk to someone.
Keep your chin up girl This will be a better week. Have people at work noticed? I worked at a job for 15 years that I hated. The girls were just like high school girls ,three of them hung out ,talked about me behind my back,forgot to tell me about meetings etc etc. Now I've been at an office that I love and everyone gets along and if a couple go out to lunch they always include the others.
Get away from these people as soon as your able, it will make a world of difference!
            
DaniDragonfly
on 1/9/11 9:21 pm - Lockhartville, Canada
Thanks, Ruthann;

I actually did drop four pounds by the time I weighed myself yesterday morning. I know it's silly to get caught up in what the scale says ... it's just REALLY hard not to let it dictate my mood. My 6 year old daughter is 49 lbs ... I keep looking at her and thinking "you have lost 7 pounds MORE than her!" I mean, I can barely lift her, and THAT has just fallen off my body - that should be enough motivation to prompt me to climb Mt. Everest... oddly, it isn't - not when in a stall.

Anybody who tells you that VSG is "the easy way to lose weight" deserves a knee to the goodies. Mentally, it is every bit as hard as any other method I have tried. The big difference I am noticing is that there is real physical help with the limitation that the surgery creates.

As a cautionary note, It doesn't do anything for your head ... you have to deal with that one all by yourself ... so, when the pounds stop co operating, it feels like the end of the world (to me) and ya just need a pick me up of some sort ... that would normally be when one might consider eating something 'bad'... old habits die really hard.

What I have found is if I can find a way to NOT do that, the weight will suddenly smarten up again and my mood goes back to positive and ready for the fight ... and all is well with the world once again ... or until the next stall (when I promptly forget everything that happened the last time and repeat the cycle again).

Hmmm ... I wonder if I should try to invent the "cranial sleeve" ... you know, cut out the part of your brain that acts like those nasty high school girls of which you spoke ... I could make MILLIONS!!

Three birds ... one stone ... I LIKE IT!

Glad you escaped your nightmare job ... this year is my turn ... just not yet. I have to get my own "house" in order before I can make any other big changes ... I've been here 7 years, so it isn't like I'm not used to it.

Oh, and ONE person noticed - the only one in the office that actually knew what "procedure" I had done. She made an appropriately big deal about how I look.

My chins are up ... another week, another step closer to my goal weight.

D
            
A in NS
on 1/9/11 8:18 am
I agree with Ruthann - get away from them asap but that's not always possible...  Soooo, here's what I do - if I'm feeling down, thinking I'm losing too slow, or just being hard on myself in general, I stop and think what I would be saying to someone else in my shoes.  I'll tell you this - it is definitely NOT the same thing I have been saying to myself - I would never say the things to someone else that I tell myself sometimes - I wonder where we learn to do that?? 

I do think that recognizing that you are being negative is half the battle - that's the first step to reversing the thoughts!  The next time you catch yourself doing it, use it as an opportunity to talk the thought through with yourself like you were talking to a friend instead of yourself!  It sounds corny & touchy feely and it feels very weird, but it might help!

Congrats on the loss - that's amazing!!!  You know you would think it was amazing if someone else had lost 56lbs in 8 weeks, right???  lol 
_________________________________________________________________
 (includes 90lbs lost pre-op): 

  
Weight lost since surgery:
  
DaniDragonfly
on 1/9/11 10:32 pm - Lockhartville, Canada
Yes, you are right (as usual) ... and I know if I was on the other end of this conversation, I'd have all sorts of positive to spread over someone else. That's what we women do - we fill up every one else's cup and forget about our own. It's typical, really.

Getting away from my employer is much easier said than done. I am in the Valley and my boss is pretty powerful ... I once applied for a position at a local (very large and supposedly reputable) company ... and the manager called my boss to tell him I was looking for a job. I nearly got fired for it. My husband has made the comment that this job is like trying to escape an abusive relationship ... I think that's a little dramatic, but he isn't completely wrong.

I have been here for 7 years, and never gotten a raise. I run the mortgage department of a financial planning firm, so my job is somewhat 'specialized' and my skills are surprisingly not marketable. My plans are to finish a course I am chomping at the bit to take (have to be able to afford it, see), and then start my own business. I can do this around working here without my narcissistic boss-man being tipped off.

2011 is going to be the "Year of Dani" (well, actually Lisa ... as that is my real first name). I am merely biding my time with my new found 'healthy me' and soon I'll be learning my new vocation ... then the sky is the limit! I have dedicated Katy Perry's song "Firework" as my theme song for this year.

I just need to keep my inner voice singing it ... and everything else will fall into place.

Thanks for the pep talk. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have found such genuine people in this forum. For that, I am grateful.

Have a super week!

D

            
ruthann49
on 1/10/11 4:46 am - Canada
I love that song!! Have a great week Dani!
            
sussmack2004
on 1/10/11 11:35 am
So I think that I'd like to sign up for the "cranial sleeve"!!! I think that so much of this is in my head!

56 lbs is amazing and it's not always easy to quiet the negative voices in your head, but as someone else said, think about it like you were dealing with someone else because "we" would never be so hard on others as we are on ourselves!  

Keep up the hard work of losing, you are doing great
Sus
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