sabotage

Okay,,,,,,,,,,,can you all help me understand WHY my Friends have all decided NOW to try and talk me out of having surgery? When it was a possibility it was okay,,,,,,,now that it is a reality, everyone (except my family and supportive pre and post op friends) have decided that I have gone overboard and it is toooo drastic. I can't get it thru their thick heads that this is not about Weight,,,it is about the many co-morbidities that I have and the fact that I want a good quality of life.........AND the possibility of a longer life. Okay,,,I feel better................I know that you all understand.......but if you have any suggestions on how to handle this I will appreciate it....... Thanks, Beckey P.S. I have thought of the "noneya", "its my life", "please bug out" and 'because I can'...........among other stronger language...........

Hey sweetie, your friends are just scared for you. When people are scared they let crap fly out of their mouths. If it is becoming a big problem right now, then the only thing that I can suggest is distant yourself away from them for right now and surround yourself with those that are being supportive (LIKE ME, you have to come over to my house soon). Before surgery if you run into the people at church or school or on the street, just say hi and have friendly conversation, but dont talk about your surgery. Ken is scared about the surgery, because of what happened to me the first attempt to have it, but we just dont talk about it as much as "I" use too. It is killing me not being able to talk about it, but it is like "out of sight, out of mind" for my hubby. Once the surgery is over and you are back home and losing then you will find that they will be ok again. Some may not be ok though and you may have to break all ties with them, because now your life is about losing, eating right and LIVING. You know that I am only a couple of blocks away from you and you can come and see me any time or call me any time. Or just call me and I will come over to you. Love ya Debbie

There has been so much bad press lately about what can go wrong with our kind of surgery. A lot of family and friends have the attitude that "i'd rather have you fat than not at all!" It is so very disheartening! They aren't walking in your shoes. REally even if you don't admit it, being so fat is like a time bomb. There is little medical science can do, I know i was too fat for most xray tables, and I would have had a heart attack, I would have been a goner, because my weight exceeded the cath table requirements. Just tell them that you have tried other approaches, and you've given it lots of thought, but this is the best route for you! Write me if I can be of help! As of this am, I am from 480 to 316 and 18 months post op! Amy

wow....congratulations on your weight loss success!!.. My husband asked my surgeon "why this is such high risk?" The surgeon calmly told him that most people are misinformed,,,it is NOT the risk of the surgery, it is the population that obtain this surgery that are at high risk. He said that without the surgery we are putting ourselves at greater risk....it was a perfect response and one that allowed my husband to have a better understanding and greater calmness about it. I will have my surgery Monday, August 9th, and I'm looking forward to my 'new life'. Thank you, Beckey