Back home - need hugs... Long, sorry.
Dearest New Hampshire friends,
I am back from 3 days of taking care of my elderly parents - my Dad is in a nursing home and my Mom is trying to keep things going at home. I went down a day early because she was scheduled to see her oncologist for a follow up endoscopy but when I got down there I found she was sick with the flu and nervous exhaustion. I spent most of the time taking care of her and going to the nursing home to see my Dad. My Dad wants to come home so badly it is heartbreaking, but there are a lot of things he can't do for himself. My Mom is so burned out but can't relax because she is worried about my Dad. I love them both so much and when I left to fly back to Manchester (they live in Maryland) I was just crying my eyes out. My Mom said "it really means a lot to Daddy that you come down - you are his big girl" and when I protested that they have 3 other kids she said "but you are the one we have had the longest." 
So I came home to my loving husband and a wonderful home cooked meal and then made the big mistake of checking my work e-mail from home. There was a snotty note from my supervisor telling me she had not seen certain issues of one of our trade publications and to make every effort to route them around the office in a timely fashion - geez, thanks a lot. I know it is important to make sure everyone sees these magazines and I agree that they are expensive and shouldn't be wasted. Unfortunately this woman cannot stop criticizing everyone in our office and has the sensitivity of a sawed-off shotgun. 
She had a staff of three intelligent, dependable women who saw her through 2 years of being short-staffed in an office that serves 500 employees. One woman got tired of being treated like a brainless twit and went back to her old job. The other woman and me are hanging in there, but we are depressed and demoralized because we are treated like we are stupid, looked down on, and continually second guessed.
When the first lady, who was our payroll officer, quit, I filled in on payroll for 2 months. I wasn't perfect but everyone got paid and the complaints were minor. Unfortunately she ended up hiring someone else to fill the position because she didn't think I would pass the proficiency exam given by the personnel department - mind you, she kept on letting me fill in until she hired someone else.
In fairness to her, I took that exam three times before I passed it; it is very difficult, and she has to do what she thinks is best for her office and for the business. In fairness to me, once the examinations officer explained that I was reading too much into the instructions and I understood what I did wrong, I got a score of 98.1 out of 100 the third time around (22 points higher than the person she hired) - too little, too late, though. In her mind I will always be feeble-minded. I want to take that e-mail she wrote me about routing the magazines and give her an enema with it. But instead, I will just bide my time, have my surgery and catch the first train out.
I love the people in the agency I work in, and I love the other assistant I work with. In a sad way, I even love my supervisor. We have worked together for five years, through good times and bad. I thought I had proved myself to her, but when I get e-landmines like the one she sent me I feel about 2 inches tall. Maybe she just caught me at a low moment.
Anyway, I lost 4 pounds. I am so glad to be back with my loving Scott and my sweet golden retriever puppy, Maya. But I miss my parents. I am so sad and mixed up.
Hey, Valerie, awesome weight loss - Hi, Jennie, Hi, New Hampshire. It is good to be home.
Love you all,
Anne
So I came home to my loving husband and a wonderful home cooked meal and then made the big mistake of checking my work e-mail from home. There was a snotty note from my supervisor telling me she had not seen certain issues of one of our trade publications and to make every effort to route them around the office in a timely fashion - geez, thanks a lot. I know it is important to make sure everyone sees these magazines and I agree that they are expensive and shouldn't be wasted. Unfortunately this woman cannot stop criticizing everyone in our office and has the sensitivity of a sawed-off shotgun.
She had a staff of three intelligent, dependable women who saw her through 2 years of being short-staffed in an office that serves 500 employees. One woman got tired of being treated like a brainless twit and went back to her old job. The other woman and me are hanging in there, but we are depressed and demoralized because we are treated like we are stupid, looked down on, and continually second guessed.
When the first lady, who was our payroll officer, quit, I filled in on payroll for 2 months. I wasn't perfect but everyone got paid and the complaints were minor. Unfortunately she ended up hiring someone else to fill the position because she didn't think I would pass the proficiency exam given by the personnel department - mind you, she kept on letting me fill in until she hired someone else.
In fairness to her, I took that exam three times before I passed it; it is very difficult, and she has to do what she thinks is best for her office and for the business. In fairness to me, once the examinations officer explained that I was reading too much into the instructions and I understood what I did wrong, I got a score of 98.1 out of 100 the third time around (22 points higher than the person she hired) - too little, too late, though. In her mind I will always be feeble-minded. I want to take that e-mail she wrote me about routing the magazines and give her an enema with it. But instead, I will just bide my time, have my surgery and catch the first train out.
I love the people in the agency I work in, and I love the other assistant I work with. In a sad way, I even love my supervisor. We have worked together for five years, through good times and bad. I thought I had proved myself to her, but when I get e-landmines like the one she sent me I feel about 2 inches tall. Maybe she just caught me at a low moment.
Anyway, I lost 4 pounds. I am so glad to be back with my loving Scott and my sweet golden retriever puppy, Maya. But I miss my parents. I am so sad and mixed up.
Hey, Valerie, awesome weight loss - Hi, Jennie, Hi, New Hampshire. It is good to be home.
Love you all,
Anne 
Hey Anne--- BIG hugs-- sounds like you need them 
( couldnt find hugs emoticon so you got a kiss one instead LOL). It's so hard to see your parents failing and struggling. Good for you to lose 4 lbs during the stress and not use it as an excuse for comfort eating. It's nice your parents trust and rely on you, but please be sure you take care of yourself 
and enlist your siblings to help as well. I also had to find out the hard way that if I didnt care for myself I had nothing to give to anyone else. Thanks for sharing, and email me or us any time.
( couldnt find hugs emoticon so you got a kiss one instead LOL). It's so hard to see your parents failing and struggling. Good for you to lose 4 lbs during the stress and not use it as an excuse for comfort eating. It's nice your parents trust and rely on you, but please be sure you take care of yourself and enlist your siblings to help as well. I also had to find out the hard way that if I didnt care for myself I had nothing to give to anyone else. Thanks for sharing, and email me or us any time. 
Anne,
Welcome home glad to see you had a safe trip, sorry to hear about your parents that is really hard. I know how it is to be the oldest and everything seems to fall on you, I have two other sisters that are all about them. When I told my Mom we were moving to NH she cried and begged me to stay that my husband could come home on the weekends to visit me. Now I am 33 years old and have lived on my own since I was 18. I told her that I am going we don't want to be seperated for a year or more, she told me but you are my dependable one, you are my rock.
My Mother is going through the same thing, she is the dependable daughter and both of my Grandparents health is failing, they live right down the road and since she is also a Nurse she is there when she is not working or sleeping to take care of them, it is hard I have watched her put her own needs aside to take care of them.
I wanted to send you many blessings and hugs. Were you able to find an assited living facility for your parents while you where there?
Jennie
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