help guys

I posted this to the main board too, but I hope someone can help me. I am so depressed. ok....i have been looking into this since March 2004. I have done alll the things including meeting Dr Drinkwater, losing weight, mental exam and meetings. In September, I decided not to have the RNY because I thought I could do it myself. Well, I am having such a hard time now. I have gained most of the weight I lost back. Myc clothes are getting tight, I am in school, working 45+ hours a week and I thnk I am going nuts. I am SOOOO tired right now. I saw myself walking down the hall in the window and I wanted to crawl in a hole. I feel SO horrible. I have to go to my husbands family tomorrow and act happy. When I know they are talking about my size. I could cry right now. I dont want to go, but I want everyone to see my kids. It has been since Christmas. I need to go back to the surgeon and get a date and start it up aain before my insurance doesnt cover it anymore. I need avice and I need some support. My husband and I arent all warm and fuzzy now. I hate to be naked and I hate the fact that he sees me like this. He loves me and says it everyday he doesnt care if I am big, I DO.But it is coming between us. I cant stand myself and want to change. I cant do it by myself I need help. Thanks guys Chris

Hi Chris, I can understand why you had to try one more time if you had any reservations whatsoever. You can't go into this if you have any doubts that you can do it any other way. Plus, weren't you just starting a new job or something that would have made taking the time off difficult? At any rate, it doesn't matter because you are ready now and that's what counts. What you have to do now is call Jen on Friday (or Monday if she isn't in on Friday) and jump back on board. I'm sure you aren't the only person who has done this same thing. She should be able to get you back into the flow.Just explain what happened, just as you did to us. As far as feeling bad about yourself right now, DON'T. That will only make you feel worse that you already do. Just think of yourself as someone who took a detour. You will soon be back on track and by next Thanksgiving this will all be just a bad dream. You can do this - all it takes to start is one phone call. E-mail if I can help in any way. Best of luck, Kathy

Chris, Call Jen & get restarted. The things that you've had done will make it move faster. No one will begrudge you trying 1 more time! I did that last yr. I bargained with my husband who wanted me to do this. It didn't work & now I am getting ready to do my workup next week get a date! Jen will help any way she can. Good luck, Pat

Hi Chris I had my RNY Oct 11, 2001..An lost 156 lbs..I had my surgery not to look pretty and have others respect me. I had it for my health. I had severe sleep apnea, fell asleep at the wheel while driving home. When they finally found out I had apnea, I stopped breathing 120 times in an hour. Also I have degenerative joint desease in both my knees. Yes bone rubbing against bone. I was walking on two canes, and couldnt stand more then 5 minutes at one time. I had to sit at work and do my job. That wasnt a life for me. I was also told by my dr's that I was going to die when I reached 55 or be in a wheel chair. That right there told me I had to do something. My spirit in life wasnt that. I needed to do something and that is why I had my surgery. There is a chat site on hotmail.com and the group is great. Go to hotmail.com look for groups and its the gastric bypass support group. Look luck on your decision only you can make it. I was there feeling yuck of how I looked and didnt like me. How I looked in the front of a window walkin down the street, couldnt sit in a normal chair, or wear a seat belt. I hated it! Keep in touch and feel free to email me. [email protected].. Wendy NH