telling friends

Hi Everyone,

I have surgery scheduled for Feb. 21. I am starting to get very nervous, but excited thinking about my new life. My mother had this surgery 5 years ago, and when she had it I wasn't the biggest fan. Obviously I have changed my mind about the whole thing. 
 
I have told my close friends about this and they are for the most part supportive. My best friend however, is a different story. I haven't been very open with her throughout this whole process because I know she does not approve. I finally told her I am doing it for real and I feel like she is really mad at me. I'm not sure what to do. I know that if she can't be a supportive person throughout this whole thing that our friendship will suffer....I am just wondering if anyone out there has had a similar experience with people they know. 

Thanks!

Jill

I had the same thing somewhat. People I believe are threatened by the weight loss that's about to happen. Like Dr. Wagner said that you won't be the largest person in your group of friends anymore. Some people cant adjust to that.
    I had surgery Dec.19th 2011 so only been a couple months for me. Loosing 85 lbs. total so far has really helped with many health issues. You do it to become healthy...period.



  Jim

 I think a lot of people go through this and have heard this often.  I am one of them.  I had my surgery on Jan 10, 2010 and I still haven't told one "of my best friends" and I wont.  Over the past year our friendship has suffered.  I got tired of her putting me down with her comments or roll of the eyes, that I started speaking up.  We don't "hang" around each other like we use to.  More or less we are civil to one another.  I am OK with it, because I am doing this for me and my health.  I was also tired of being the biggest person and I am looking forward to the day where I am the smallest one!  I have lost almost 50 pound from the start of this process and she hasn't even acknowledge it...and it is evident that I have lost some weight.  So what does that tell ya.  If it's meant to be, it will be.  Everything happens for a reason, and I am a firm believer in that.  You have to think of yourself and keep going, it will be so workth it in the end!  :)

Hi Jill,

Is your friend heavy also?  It could be that she is upset that you were able to make the decision to make a better life for yourself, and it could be as simple as thinking she will lose her "eating buddy". For the most part, everyone I told was very supportive, except for my sister who rolled her eyes and said that nothing would work for her, she is also very heavy.  She hardly speaks to me know, but that is her problem.  Just be yourself, and show her that even though you are getting healthier and able to do more things, you are still her friend.  If she chooses to go a different path, you will know that you did what you could to make your friendship work.