Ups and Downs...

Well we have had a VERY bad week. Eating bad things, drinking bad things, and in general hating myself and my evil mind for letting it get the better of me. However we have been in self preservation mode for 2 weeks now.  Baby Girl is SICK and I MEAN SICK!! Poor little thing has been miserable with what we thought was a cold.  Yup nope... double ear infections that were so bad it was oozing out of her eyes!! UGH - BAD MOM AWARD!!

Plus she has finally started teething at 8 months (much later than her big brother and sister) so the nights have been oh so joyful the past few nights.  I am exhausted... and would give ANYTHING for a full 8 hours of sleep.

Went to the clinic yesterday for my 2nd appt with the dietitian... I maintained my weight with all the bad things I have been doing which is good.  It means the skiing and constant business is helping keep the weight OFF!!

Discussed my concerns with her about the mandated 8% weight loss... as if I lose the 20lbs that puts me under the 40BMI needed for my insurance to cover surgery!!! BAD BAD BAD

She redid the weights and the goals - and then had me scheduled with the clinic's physician! If I can lose 11lbs by 3/15/11 she believes the doctor will refer me at that point to the surgeon!! I have to lose ALL the weight plus some by surgery day but if I make a significant effort to get most of the weight off but maintain a BMI over 40 then they will push me through and get my surgery scheduled.  Once I have a date then I am free to rock the weight loss HARD.. without fear of being denied!!!

This has been the BEST bright spot since all this started.  My last Lifestyles class is tonight... sad to know the group will be done and I wont ever see most of these people again.  I want to know how they are all doing... and to be there to support them in every step they take through the process!!!

One more support group (which I loved going to FYI) and my psych eval is next week... then I am officially done and ready to meet the surgeon.. oh ya once I lose my 10 - 11lbs!! We all know 11lbs in a month is doable... Just need to GET IT DONE!!

Told DH I "WILL" be doing the gym 5x a week after work next week...I need to for my sanity and for my health.  I push so much anger and bad thoughts out of my head when I am moving the machines around and the free weights. Plus the skiing,,, my butt should be shrinking by now because of the skiing.

Positive note - we are headed to the White Mountains on Saturday with the kiddos.  We booked a hotel room and received 2 free adult lift passes.  The tween gets a free pass for taking lessons at another mountain this year! So we will hit the mountain on Saturday for the Apres ski party (face painting, clowns, s'mores, and other fun stuff for the kiddos) and fireworks. Then get a good night sleep and hit the slopes for 9am for a FULL DAY of skiing on Sunday.  My bum is gonna be sooo sore!! Oddly enough I am looking forward to it.

I am tunneling my food addiction into a new addiction - skiing.  Wish we had the money for me to do it EVERY DAY!! I burn 994 calories an hour (based on my weight)  skiing!  We ski for 3 - 4 hours minimum!! Talk about burning ALL your bad food calories for one week in one day of FUN!!!

Congrats to a fellow CMC OTC patient - she made her weight goal and is on the waiting list to meet with the surgeon!! Jealous and yet sooo soooo proud of D!!!  CONGRATS.. I want status updates... as I said I will live vicariously through you until I get there!

First take a deep breath and step away from the KITCHEN !!!!!   You can do this! That is all over now and you can move on. 

It is so crazy trying to fit in everything that you need to accomplish for the surgery.  It seems that life throws everything at you when you need to lose that weight to meet goal.  This in turn teaches us good choices and habits for post op.  Easier said than done I  know, but you will get there. 

Great job on the exercising that is a big help to your weight as well as your stress relief.  It is prov en that exercise will help with relieving stress. 

I am jealous that you can ski, my knee doesn't like it anymore although down 100lbs I may just try it again and see how it feels. 

Keep it up, enjoy the skiing and enjoy your journey.  This is not a quickie this is a lifestyle change and you will do great.

 Wow!  Thanks for the update.  Congrats on getting to meet "The Wizard", that is a huge step.  Looks like we may be having our surgery around the same time!!!  We can share a hospital room.  : )

As for me, it appears that I need to set a new goal for myself.  Now that I've hit my goal weight, I am in the same boat as you, I can't lose too much more (10lbs.) or I will be under the 40 BMI.  So, unfortunately, that somehow told my brain to be more lax this week.

I just had a battle with a bag of potato chips and some pastry, but thanks to coming on here, I'm going to recommit.  I have no doubt that the scale will be another punishment tomorrow morning.

I feel the same way you do about the Lifestyle class group.  There were some very cool people in there!  Hopefully, we will see them again in Pre and Post-Op Support Groups.

Best wishes!  Have a wonderful time this weekend!  And PS - Your daughter is adorable!

Ya I am excited and ready to start focusing again.. which is a positive step!
The more I thought about the weight and the original goal the more I realized that I would be knocking myself out of the program if I continued to push myself like we are supposed to.

It is nice knowing that I have to work hard now to get to March 15th - then maintain until April and my meeting with Dr. Campbell.  Once they submit me I can then bust my hump and drop as much as I can on their strictly protein shakes diet!! Can you imagine the weight that will fall off doing ONLY that!?  Just that part excites me..

I thought about passing out a form asking for people's email addresses so we could start email chains and updates so everyone knew how they others were doing but didnt want to be too pushy!

Thanks about my oldest - she is a HANDFUL - the preteen thing is making me CRAZY!! She is lucky she is so smart and cute..

Keep me post on your meeting with Dr. Snow and then with Dr. Campbell... dying to know what they say... living through you sista!

PS:  BACK AWAY FROM THE CHIP BAG - GO FOR A WALK, it's gorgeous out!! So wish I could as I sit at work itching with SPRING FEVER!!

 Wow!  I meet with Dr. Snow on March 15th too!  9:30am.  We're really on the same schedule!!!