Questioning my decision and timing of surgery
I've finally completed all the pre-op requirements and had my 1st consult with the surgeon last week... everything is in order and I'm just waiting for my date. Problem is since meeting with the surgeon, panic has now set in and I am consumed with the thought and fear of any complication happening. I'm 35, married and have a 20 month old. The only health problems I have right now at my weight is mild/moderate back and foot pain and mild GERD. It took me through the winter, spring and most of the summer to get my mind wrapped around losing the pre-op weight and since the end of Aug. finally got off the last 12 pounds... because I was eating right and began exercising regularly again. I know if I lose weight no matter the method the couple of issues I have will get better. I'm just worried now about the possibility of creating a different set of problems by having the bypass surgery.
There is also some stress in my life and I don't forsee it going away at least for a few months, so I'm also questioning the timing of the surgery thinking about that and my own recovery. I also don't have quite enough time built up at work right now to take the entire 4-6 weeks of leave paid adding to the stress.
Bottom line, I'm having second thoughts about doing it, questioning myself, the timing, nervous about any complication and stressed. Has anyone else gone through anything like this? Or, decided to wait awhile longer, lose more weight to lower the risk of complications etc.?
Thanks for any insight you all might offer, I appreciate it greatly.
and glad to meet you. You are not alone in this journey and never will be as long as you are here. This is a great sounding board, a place to vent, to celebrate and to just ask anything. No judgments just support. (sometimes we need that kick in the butt) As for timing, there will always be stress, it may not be the same stress, but the stress will be there, only you can make the choice of when is best. I thought about the timing of my surgery and worried about money and complications I have 2 boys now 16 & 17 a husband who has gone thru all of this the previous year. There is no perfect time but I felt when I completed all the steps (took me over a year) that when it was completed it was meant to be. If I made weight I was ready to do this so I could be a better parent to my boys.
As for time off some people only take 1 week other take the full 6 some people somewhere in between. I took 6 because of the distance of my job from my home and driving was difficult for me (my body doesn't like the disolvable stitches) . Only you know how far you can push yourself after wards.
If you were not nervous then I would be worried. It is normal to worry and to wonder if this is the right time, the right choice, but deep down inside you started this journey for a reason, ask yourself what that reason was and is that reason still there? Is it better health? To be there for your little one? To be able to run and play with your little one?
we are here for you PM (private message) me if you would like to chat or if you would like my number to call. Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away.
Good luck and welcome to the board!
You may be only one person in the world, but to someone you are the world
Welcome to the NH Board...you will love it here. We are all here for each other, and yes, sometimes to get that kick in the butt we need so badly!
Sookie is right on. I know that every one of us would tell you all the same things she did. You started this journey for a reason. No matter how long, or how quickly it took you to get this far the decision was made by you, for you. You should definately give yourself more credit than you have for staying with this and completing the the pre surgery requirements without giving up, which we have seen many do.
Stress.....it never really goes away, and each day there seems to be something else to stress about. There are not many people I know in the program that have taken the full 6 weeks off. A good friend of mine who had surgery in January (and whom I am certain will respond to this) was only out three weeks. You are very young, and will recover quickly. You just have to believe that.
As for your medical reasons for having the surgery....you said it all "The only health problems I am having right now...". Don't wait until you have worse problems. You made the decision to take charge of your life, and change it for the better, for you, your family, and future family.
Oh ya, and the being terrified part!!! Ask anyone, we were all terrified at one point or another. :-)
Don't ever be afraid or uneasy to say anything on this board. Just like the meetings, this board is a confidential source of support and wisdom. What happens on the NH WLS Board, stays on the NH WLS board!!!!!
Best regards, and know that you are not alone. I had the exact same fears and worries for two years prior to surgery. I am not a Portsmouth patient, but I believe we all travel the same basic path to surgery, and beyond.
I too had concerns about both lapband and bypass, and ultimately opted for the sleeve. Two years ago that was not an option due to insurance, and I know many surgeons are not performing them, as yet. It took me two years to find the right mix of surgeon, surgery type, and courage!
At 54, I missed out on alot due to obesity and the restrictions it puts on you mentally and physically. I also developed co-morbidities that I could have avoided entirely. As far as time for recovery, my personal experience was back to my desk job part-time at day 9, and full time at day 14, following a laparascopic sleeve gastrectomy.
I had the support of family, friends and co-workers, and they certainly made my recovery easier. The fear will be there until it is over, and it does get worse when the work is done and you are waiting for surgery day. If you let fear guide your decision, you will never have surgery.
Though we all share the experience, we are unique individuals. Only you will know when the time is right for you.
meant2b
