Question of the Week

Okay, something a little different to mix things up!! 

What is one thing you discovered about yourself through your weightloss journey?  This can be for post and pre surgery people.

I found that it is very difficult for me, even after 2 years, to put myself first.  I still find myself doing what is better for my work, family or friends, and sometimes even my dogs!  I am also finding it very difficult to change this behavior although I am trying. 

One thing... Hmmmm, there are so many. - Since I reached my goal weight, I've discovered that my weight as well as my physical and mental health must continue to be my top priority!   Without it nearly everything in my life is negatively impacted.. (i.e my relationships, health, work, self confidence.. the list goes on).  I know it will be a constant work in progress but I'm prepared.  My plan is to continue to work hard, maintain awareness and live a life of moderation and forgiveness.

Great post Martha!

For me, it was....I always thought once I met my weight goal I would be happy ALL-THE-TIME!!  I met the goal of losing weight and now I'm skinny...how can I NOT be happy?  There are still so many stressful aspects of my life (right now my kids.)  Some days I feel I can't control my boys.  Then my girls like to point out I "always give them a break."  I can't win.  Lately I feel as if no one cares about what I say or how I feel.  Makes me feel quite inadequate as a mother.  I also feel like I take my anxiety/stress from the kids right to my husband and that's not fair to him.  So, all I can do is try to be a better mother and wife.  What a downer I am!

Lisa

 

Hi Lisa,

First, I think you are being way to hard on yourself. You are a great mom, and you have four awesome kids.  I for one, understand your frustrations with your son.  I too had a son almost like him, but maybe a bit worse.  I wondered what I was doing wrong all the time.  I was so frustrated, and at times, very angry.  He is now grown, and he has told me that there was nothing I did wrong, or nothing different I could have done as a mother.  He just knew how he could push my buttons, so he did.  He apologized for being such a difficult child and teenager.  So there is hope.  You just need to hang in there.  I think that we as mothers, tend to go a little easier on our sons, and push our daughters a bit harder.  I know I did, and I got a lot of crap for it too.  People still say I went too easy on my son, but they have no idea what we went through.  So mom, take a deep breath, take another, try and remember that kids will do whatever they can to upset the person they love the most, know that you are a great mom, and give your husband a big hug! 

Thanks Martha.  You always have a special way of making me feel better!

My new strategy to maybe get my kids (mostly the boys) to listen to me is to say, "you are not caring about my feelings or what I say.  It hurts my feelings to know you don't care."  It's true too...

Lisa

You're welcome Lisa.  I have been in your shoes, but only with two children.  I could not even have imagined doubling that.  I give you all the credit in the world. 

I think your strategy is great.  Just be consistent and strong.  My favorite line was, "I love you very much, I just don't like you right now." 

Both my children have apologized to me for being so bad as children and teenagers, and I have heard from others that they have also received apologies.  It just may take a few years! 

I learned that I really am a stress eater. I always through that I truly ate because I was truly hungry and now I know that is not always the case. Guess I need to find a new thing to channel my stress into that does not go into my mouth.

I have found out that I am worth it!  I deserve good things.  I know it sounds funny, but before my surgery I took the crap people handed out to me, because I figured it was better than nothing.  I now know it is not, and I deserve better.  This is a very hard thing to change and not let people walk all over me and crap on me.  Now I try and avoid those people and not beat myself up over it.  

Good for you Sookie.  It is so nice to hear such a positive attitude because I know, we have had so much negative in our lives.  Keep up the great job! 

over the last few months i have relised that i like haveing people tell me how good i look ... my entire life i have alwasy said " i dont care what people think of me" well i guess thats because people allways thaught negitively of my apperance and i never thaught enough of my self to do inything about it... well now that i have decided that i am worth it i kinda like the attention.. i guess i'm an attenion *****  ...

Dave