I have been away too long, my world is upside down

I can't believe it has  been so long since I have been on here.  So much has happened in the last 5 months.  My mother went in for a pacemaker and it went down hill from there.  I lost my mom at the end of January, and it still doesn't  seem real yet.  I am working, and trying to clean out her house, keep up with family and all of her friends that just can't believe that she is gone.  I am trying to be everything to everyone, and I think I can handle it for a little while longer.  I know when her birthday hits I will fall apart, but I will make sure to be there for my boys. 

Losing mom has made me kick it into gear with losing the last few pounds I need to make goal.  I would like to be at goal weight by the end of Feb.  I know I can do it and more.  I want to be healthy and be able to do things with my husband and my boys.  I need to do this for me!  I am worth it and I deserve to be happy.

I am making better choices even with this.  I am not bringing sweets into the house and have had very little to do with them outside of the house.  I have had some slips, I don't think of them as cheating, I think of it as sliding back to my old ways of comfort food.  

I start the day one step at a time and one choice at a time.  If I slip, then I start again.  I will not beat myself up for being HUMAN. 

Thank you for letting me vent and cry a little I know it will get better and I have my own angel but trying to figure out how to live without my mom is going to be tough.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.

Hi Sookie,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom.  When it happens so suddenly, it is such a shock to the system.  You feel like things will never be back to normal.  They will be though.  It will still hurt, but the sadness does go away after a while.  I lost my mom very suddenly almost 11 years ago.  There are still times, around her birthday, mother's day, and the holidays that I still miss her terribly.  It does get better. 

I am glad that you are able to concentrate on getting healthier and finishing what you started.  It can be difficult even under the best cir****tances.  Don't give up.  Try not to be everything to everyone, and let someone be there for you too.  Remember, there are seven stages of grief, denial; guilt; anger; depression; turning it around; working through your feelings; and acceptance/hope.  Some get through them quickly, others take years.  There is no definitive time line.  Just keep doing what you are doing, call on friends and loved ones to help you through everything, and hang in there.  If you need anyone to talk to, let me know.  I am not far from you!

Sookie
Very sorry to hear of your loss.  It will get better with time and yes the birthday's and holidays are tough but you will get thru it.  Feb 22 will be 1 year since my mother died after open heart surgery.  Don't forget about yourself, and your right one day at a time and one choice at a time. 
If you need to talk send me a note.

Thank you everyone for your kind words,  It is still one day at a time and one choice at a time.  I know Mom was not really behind this surgery, but she wanted me to be healthy.  I am sure as time went by and I got closer to the day she would have come around.  I will work through her clothes and things this weekend, but I have decided to call on friends and not go alone.   I thank you all for the advice of not being everything to everyone, one of my worst habits. 

As I watch the Olympic hockey games, I have had to call people just to chat, I always spoke with Mom during the games.  I am still working on losing my pre surgery weight, but I have not gone up so for me that is a huge success. 

Thank you again for all the words of encouragement and support.