My eyes are bigger than my stomach....

So, lately I have been struggling with head hunger.  Case in point:  I made meatloaf for dinner.  It smelled sooo good.  I cut myself a piece and I also toasted an Arnold Thin bread.  I ate about 1/4 of the meatloaf on my plate and 3 bites of toast and I feel like crap.  My head wants to eat the entire piece of meatloaf and all the bread.  It tastes really good, but I am physically not able to eat the portion I want.  Now I feel tired and ready for a nap and I'm sure I will be burping it up all night.....all over a few friggin' bites of meatloaf and toast!  It's not just this meal that I have been struggling with.  Sometimes my head says my stomach needs sugar.  Sometimes I will test myself.  If I dare eat something sugary, I feel like crap after it and my stomach goes wild.  I'm doing better with the sugary foods, but the comfort foods I'm still struggling with.  I'm trying to think of sugary foods like diet soda or champagne.  Def. no no's for me....I learned my lesson.  And, quite frankly, I can live without sweets. 

I have learned to let go and throw food away.  That was huge for me.  I normally would try to stuff it down just so I wouldn't be wasting food.  Again, I am physically not able to stuff myself like that now.  I guess my real struggle is letting go of food....or letting go of a friend, because food was always my friend.  I thought I had a handle on this, but I guess not.  It's creeping back up on me and I don't like the feeling.  I was always a volume eater.  Can't be one anymore!  

IDK, I guess I'm just venting.  Sometimes I wonder how I live off of what I eat daily.  Thanks for reading.  It felt good to get it out.  I have been wanting to do this for a while now.

Lisa      

Good for you Lisa.  Sometimes that is all we need.  I know exactly what you are saying, but having the band sometimes allows me to do exactly what you can't do.  It is so hard to throw food away (all those starving children in Africa).  Boy did our parents do a number on us in that way!!!  Our nut said something the other day that has kind of stuck with me, that might help you.  She said that most time one spoonful satisfies a craving.  So try this.  Cook the comfort food you are craving for your family, and then cook what you should have that does not bother you.  Take one bit of the comfort food, and then go on to your dinner.  I have found that works with sweets for me.  I know it means cooking two meals, but it might just be what you need. 

And don't beat yourself up for being a volume eater...after all that pretty much got us all in the place we were. 

Hang in there!!   By the way, have I told you how fabulous you look!!!

Thanks Martha.  You always have such great advice! 

Lisa

Hi Lisa:

On Sunday I ate 2 fork fulls of cottage cheese too fast and ended up sliming for 6 hours afterwards!  My first episode and a painful lesson on eating slowly. 

I have to keep reminding myself to "eat to live" and not "live to eat".

Hang in there.

Tom

Thanks Tom,

I remember eating too fast and vomiting.  I couldn't stand the foaming and sliming. 

Eat to live, not live to eat is my motto!  Thanks for reminding me! 

Best of luck!  Lisa

Hi Lisa,

i know what you are saying. I remember last summer listening to people say it's gets harder the further out you are and thinking no way. But I now know it's true - some days anyway. The best thing we can do is communicate how we are feeling and ask for help. We all need it. We have years and years of bad habits to try to change and it's a process. We learn something new about ourselves all the time. Keep on plugging!!

Rosemary

Thanks Rosemary.  I'm glad I'm not the only one with struggles.  It happened again today.  I wanted chips, a Lean Cuisine meal, coffee....like A LOT of all of them.  I talked myself down.  I got locked out of the house so I couldn't heat up the Lean Cuisine.  I had a few chips while I was figuring out what to do.  Then I went to McD's and got a coffee and 1 snack wrap (grilled chicken w/honey mustand.)  Ate that on the way to the mall.  Got to the mall and bought too much, but had a peaceful time alone.  The power was on when I got home at 2:45, thank God.  I grabbed a small handful of grapes and I should be good till dinner.

Thanks for you words of wisdom.  I will def. come back when I need support!

Lisa

Wow, what great choices Lisa.  Way to go.  It is a struggle every day, and if people who say we took the easy way out ever knew they would not say that.  Remember take one day, one hour, and one minute at a time.

Martha

Thanks again Martha!  I agree about people thinking it's the easy way out.  If they only knew!  I'm lucky to have this tool because if I didn't, the last few days would have been a bingefest!  I'm also lucky to have my wonderful OH friends!

Lisa

I know what you mean about letting go of food.  I'm over a year and a half out, and I'm finding it harder and harder everyday.  Plus, I think that being home and out of my usual work routine has taken its toll on my eating habits.  For me, it's gotten harder because I find I can eat just about anything without dumping anymore.  That makes me sad - and scared.  The dumping was always looming out there, which kept me on the straight and narrow.  I ate two chocolate chip cookies the other day, and they didn't bother me a bit, except they made me want another one.  Luckily, I was full or I would have taken the third one. 

Anyway, I just wanted to chime in and say that you are doing great!  Don't beat yourself up over little slips.  They will happen, but if you think about it, they're much smaller than they would have been had you not had RNY.  The fact that you recognize when they happen or when they're about to happen is half the battle too, because you get right back on track.  For me, that's the huge difference between "before" and "now," and I'll bet it's the same for you.