I need support
Hi everyone,
I am writing because I really, really need help from you guys! I have done so great with my band and changing my lifestyle, and now everything is falling apart. In April I got really sick and since then I was diagnosed with C-diff and spent 10 days in the hospital, missing over a month of work. I was then diagnosed with Crohns disease.
Because of some of the pills I had to take for the infection and for the Crohns my GI asked that I have my band unfilled a little bit, which I did in the beginning of September. Since then I've been able to eat more than I've been able to eat since the surgery. But what is worse is that because of being sick and being diagnosed with Crohns and now able to eat, I find I am resorting back to my old bad habits. I don't feel good, so I eat... I feel sorry for myself, so I eat. I eat junk food because I can and I want to. Having this loose band is REALLY REALLY Hard.
I was asked not to speak about my other illness at my post op support group, and right now although I am still living with my band, I have to focus my life on learning as much as I can about Crohns and how to live with that. So until I've dealt with this I can't go to the group, because the support I need is support for living with the band loose, which is due to my illness. The good thing is that I will be able to have the band tightened again eventually, as soon as things with my Crohns settle down and my doctors are confident I won't need any more interventions that might be hindered by the band being tight.
But for now I've gained about 8 lbs since having the band loosened. I'm making bad food choices and although I tell myself I shouldn't, I do anyway.
At least last week I did start back exercising, as I have not felt well enough to do that since things started in April.... Perhaps things are starting to look up, now that I have a diagnosis, and now I feel good enough to exercise... I just wish I could get my good eating habits back!
I am writing because I really, really need help from you guys! I have done so great with my band and changing my lifestyle, and now everything is falling apart. In April I got really sick and since then I was diagnosed with C-diff and spent 10 days in the hospital, missing over a month of work. I was then diagnosed with Crohns disease.
Because of some of the pills I had to take for the infection and for the Crohns my GI asked that I have my band unfilled a little bit, which I did in the beginning of September. Since then I've been able to eat more than I've been able to eat since the surgery. But what is worse is that because of being sick and being diagnosed with Crohns and now able to eat, I find I am resorting back to my old bad habits. I don't feel good, so I eat... I feel sorry for myself, so I eat. I eat junk food because I can and I want to. Having this loose band is REALLY REALLY Hard.
I was asked not to speak about my other illness at my post op support group, and right now although I am still living with my band, I have to focus my life on learning as much as I can about Crohns and how to live with that. So until I've dealt with this I can't go to the group, because the support I need is support for living with the band loose, which is due to my illness. The good thing is that I will be able to have the band tightened again eventually, as soon as things with my Crohns settle down and my doctors are confident I won't need any more interventions that might be hindered by the band being tight.
But for now I've gained about 8 lbs since having the band loosened. I'm making bad food choices and although I tell myself I shouldn't, I do anyway.
At least last week I did start back exercising, as I have not felt well enough to do that since things started in April.... Perhaps things are starting to look up, now that I have a diagnosis, and now I feel good enough to exercise... I just wish I could get my good eating habits back!
Proud owner of a lap band!
Hi Cindy,
First of all, stop beating yourself up. Look at your ticker...you have lost an incredible amount of weight. The more you beat yourself up, the more depressed you will get, the more you will eat....it is such a roller coaster life we live. I am glad you are exercising again. Remember, baby steps. The more you do, the better you will feel.
The first thing you should do is find a Crohn's support group. I know they are out there. My brother in law was diagnosed with crohns years ago. He still goes to the support groups. It will also give you someone to talk to about what is going on with your body right now. You can live with Crohns. You just have to learn how to, the same way you learned how to live with the band.
Second, I know it is easy for me to say, but try and stop and think every time you go to eat something you shouldn't. Think about what you have done, who you have inspired. That is a very long list. You can do this, you have lived with a loose band before. Remember, just because it is looser (sp?), does not give you permission to go crazy, and eat whatever you want. You are aware of what you are doing, you asked for help. Try and arrange to call someone who would be helpful to you, when you want to overeat. Think of that person as your conscience, your guide, your fairy godmother...anything that will help. I am sure that there is more than one person who would be willing to step into that role. And remember, just because you can, does not mean you should. I know this is a crazy analogy, but you can rob a bank, but you know you shouldn't. To me, to eat or not to eat is as easy as that. Don't overthink it.
Anyway, if you need someone to talk to, we are all here. You have been a great inspiration for me. I do not think any less of you now, than I did before. We are all human. I hope this helped a little. Just remember, you are a terrific person, with a terrific life ahead of her. This is just a little speedbump in the road of life!!!
Martha
First of all, stop beating yourself up. Look at your ticker...you have lost an incredible amount of weight. The more you beat yourself up, the more depressed you will get, the more you will eat....it is such a roller coaster life we live. I am glad you are exercising again. Remember, baby steps. The more you do, the better you will feel.
The first thing you should do is find a Crohn's support group. I know they are out there. My brother in law was diagnosed with crohns years ago. He still goes to the support groups. It will also give you someone to talk to about what is going on with your body right now. You can live with Crohns. You just have to learn how to, the same way you learned how to live with the band.
Second, I know it is easy for me to say, but try and stop and think every time you go to eat something you shouldn't. Think about what you have done, who you have inspired. That is a very long list. You can do this, you have lived with a loose band before. Remember, just because it is looser (sp?), does not give you permission to go crazy, and eat whatever you want. You are aware of what you are doing, you asked for help. Try and arrange to call someone who would be helpful to you, when you want to overeat. Think of that person as your conscience, your guide, your fairy godmother...anything that will help. I am sure that there is more than one person who would be willing to step into that role. And remember, just because you can, does not mean you should. I know this is a crazy analogy, but you can rob a bank, but you know you shouldn't. To me, to eat or not to eat is as easy as that. Don't overthink it.
Anyway, if you need someone to talk to, we are all here. You have been a great inspiration for me. I do not think any less of you now, than I did before. We are all human. I hope this helped a little. Just remember, you are a terrific person, with a terrific life ahead of her. This is just a little speedbump in the road of life!!!
Martha
Hey Cindy,
First of all, why shouldn't you be able to talk about your Crohn's at the support group? You are a weight loss patient who needs support. Plain and simple. You should be able to discuss this. It is an issue that is causing you distress and hampering your weight loss efforts. I think it's wrong to ask you not to talk about it at the meetings.
Second, my suggestion is to eat what hubby eats. He's just off the surgery. If you only eat what//when he eats, you may be able to rein in the unnecessary snacking.
Finally, cut yourself some slack! You have been through a lot lately. You've done so well with your weight loss. You recognize that you're struggling right now and have reached out for help. That's three-fourths of the battle. The rest of it just involves talking to yourself. For instance, when I want to eat something that I know is a poor choice, and I don't need it, I tell myself that if it wasn't sitting right there, I wouldn't eat it. Or just remember to identify the "hunger" you are having at the moment of weakness. Is it head hunger or are you really hungry in your stomach? Then, if you decide that you're going to eat whatever it is, put it on a plate and take it to the table and make yourself sit down and eat it mindfully. Make a rule that you can't eat anything on the fly or in front of the tv, only from a plate while seated at the table. That may help. Good luck.
First of all, why shouldn't you be able to talk about your Crohn's at the support group? You are a weight loss patient who needs support. Plain and simple. You should be able to discuss this. It is an issue that is causing you distress and hampering your weight loss efforts. I think it's wrong to ask you not to talk about it at the meetings.
Second, my suggestion is to eat what hubby eats. He's just off the surgery. If you only eat what//when he eats, you may be able to rein in the unnecessary snacking.
Finally, cut yourself some slack! You have been through a lot lately. You've done so well with your weight loss. You recognize that you're struggling right now and have reached out for help. That's three-fourths of the battle. The rest of it just involves talking to yourself. For instance, when I want to eat something that I know is a poor choice, and I don't need it, I tell myself that if it wasn't sitting right there, I wouldn't eat it. Or just remember to identify the "hunger" you are having at the moment of weakness. Is it head hunger or are you really hungry in your stomach? Then, if you decide that you're going to eat whatever it is, put it on a plate and take it to the table and make yourself sit down and eat it mindfully. Make a rule that you can't eat anything on the fly or in front of the tv, only from a plate while seated at the table. That may help. Good luck.
"I am not the skin I'm in, but the soul within."
Hi Cindy,
You have my whole hearted support. This is a rotten turn of events for you and a pretty severe setback. I for one am not the least surprised that you are struggling to make good food choices with a loose band. Maybe I'm whacked but it makes perfect sense to me. Your band was your tool, the key to your success. And it is loose suddenly and your framework is a bit shaky. Reasonable, if you ask me. What I'm thinking though is that before you had the band you had ...you. The you that recognized your weight problem and acted so surely to do something about it. You got the band, it didn't happen the other way around. You made the most of that tool and worked hard to lose a boatload of weight . You did all that. And you still have you. A scared you, maybe. A you that needs some time to adjust and to accomodate to a few new realities. But the same you that moved so purposefully to get the band will, I'm sure of it, take matters into hand once again and soon. You already have by reaching out and voicing your fears. I agree that a support group would be great. What else? Guided imagery CDs have helped me tremendously. I know another bandster who joined WW when her band had to be loose - a sort of stop gap measure. I'm just tossing things out. Think hard on what you feel will help and share it with us - Treading
You have my whole hearted support. This is a rotten turn of events for you and a pretty severe setback. I for one am not the least surprised that you are struggling to make good food choices with a loose band. Maybe I'm whacked but it makes perfect sense to me. Your band was your tool, the key to your success. And it is loose suddenly and your framework is a bit shaky. Reasonable, if you ask me. What I'm thinking though is that before you had the band you had ...you. The you that recognized your weight problem and acted so surely to do something about it. You got the band, it didn't happen the other way around. You made the most of that tool and worked hard to lose a boatload of weight . You did all that. And you still have you. A scared you, maybe. A you that needs some time to adjust and to accomodate to a few new realities. But the same you that moved so purposefully to get the band will, I'm sure of it, take matters into hand once again and soon. You already have by reaching out and voicing your fears. I agree that a support group would be great. What else? Guided imagery CDs have helped me tremendously. I know another bandster who joined WW when her band had to be loose - a sort of stop gap measure. I'm just tossing things out. Think hard on what you feel will help and share it with us - Treading
I think you're doing an admirable job with what you've been dealt. 8 pounds? Geez, I'd probably have half my old weight packed back on by now! Someone else said it and they're right STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP. But, you don't have to go back to old ways. All the things that you know to do (like keeping yourself busy, and challenging your thoughts when it's head hunger and reminding yourself of how great you look, and getting the junk food out of the house) all that stuff, yeah, you can still do that. It's going to be harder and I'm so sorry your support group let you down. BUT WE'RE HERE. No doubt your meal plan is going to change (I have a friend who has Crohns and I know there are foods that she doesn't tolerate well). Maybe right now a visit to your nutritionist would help. You could plan a few things out and maybe that would help you feel like you have a little control. It sounds like what you're saying, in part, is that things are OUT of control. And yeah, you're right, you didn't chose to have Crohn's right? But you can pick up the tools you already have, the ones that have made your weight loss possible. It wasn't all the band, it was learning to think differently, in part and you can still do that. I'm so sorry you're going through such a lousy time. I hope that you will quickly heal and be back on track soon.
Shirley
"How I respond to challenges says more about me than doing something easy ever will."
Start 251/Surgery 236.5/Current 141/Goal 130
"How I respond to challenges says more about me than doing something easy ever will."
Start 251/Surgery 236.5/Current 141/Goal 130
Oh Cindy, I am so sorry you are going through this. Like others have said first and foremost you need to take care of you and what is going on, which means focusing more on researching Crohns. I absolutely don't understand why you cannot talk about Crohns and other issues that impact your WLS at support group meetings, because, well, they are severely affecting your weight loss/maintaining right now. I have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia and it does play a significant role in my weight loss efforts as well as my recent RNY.
So okay. You gained 8 lbs, not the end of the world! Even though your tool is not working you know what needs to be done. I don't blame you for not making good food choices and sort of 'rebelling' a bit. A diagnosis like Crohns is going to make things harder for you, especially food choices. It's okay and it's natural. Maybe pick up a book on chronic illnesses or specifically on Crohns (if you haven't already) and they may touch on things like the emotional 'side effects' of this.
I am sure you have unconditional support from your wonderful husband, but you definitely have mine too! Take care of YOU!
So okay. You gained 8 lbs, not the end of the world! Even though your tool is not working you know what needs to be done. I don't blame you for not making good food choices and sort of 'rebelling' a bit. A diagnosis like Crohns is going to make things harder for you, especially food choices. It's okay and it's natural. Maybe pick up a book on chronic illnesses or specifically on Crohns (if you haven't already) and they may touch on things like the emotional 'side effects' of this.
I am sure you have unconditional support from your wonderful husband, but you definitely have mine too! Take care of YOU!
Hi Friends,
I want to thank you guys so much for the unconditional support you've shown me. I know that I shouldn't beat myself up over a little weight gain, but I'm definately scared and I am not used to this turning to food thing for comfort anymore... But it sure is easy to get back into those old bad habits.
The day I was posted I was pretty depressed about it... probably because that was the day of the post op support group that I would normally go to... but right now I feel like I can't go. At first I didn't care that they asked me not to speak about it, but at the time I wasn't having a problem. Now I feel like I need more support than ever with not eating and making better food choices, but how can I share that without telling them why? Now I'm angry and hurt about being asked not to talk about my other illnesses. Other people come into the support group and talk about their other illnesses... but just because I had to have a slight unfill, for something completely unrelated to the band, I can't talk about my feelings??? Just not fair.
On the bright side, I have found a Crohns support group, in Manchester, and their next meeting is Monday! I have already been in contact with the facilitator, and she and I have emailed back and fourth so much I feel like we're already best friends! So things are looking up as far as my Crohns go.... The medication seems to be working, I've found a support group and more specifically a friend with Crohns, I'm seeing the Crohns specialist at Dartmouth on the 27th and I've heard absolutely incredible things about him from my gastroenterolist and from two of the doctors that I work with..... One of whom is friends with the specialist, and he has already called him and told him to be extra nice to me since I'm his friend, LOL.
I just count my blessings for the amount of support I can count on from my wonderful husband, my terriffic health care team, and last but not least, all of you. I know most of you I only know online, but you are all such wonderful people and I truly appreciate that we can all be here for each other for whatever problem we may face.
I want to thank you guys so much for the unconditional support you've shown me. I know that I shouldn't beat myself up over a little weight gain, but I'm definately scared and I am not used to this turning to food thing for comfort anymore... But it sure is easy to get back into those old bad habits.
The day I was posted I was pretty depressed about it... probably because that was the day of the post op support group that I would normally go to... but right now I feel like I can't go. At first I didn't care that they asked me not to speak about it, but at the time I wasn't having a problem. Now I feel like I need more support than ever with not eating and making better food choices, but how can I share that without telling them why? Now I'm angry and hurt about being asked not to talk about my other illnesses. Other people come into the support group and talk about their other illnesses... but just because I had to have a slight unfill, for something completely unrelated to the band, I can't talk about my feelings??? Just not fair.
On the bright side, I have found a Crohns support group, in Manchester, and their next meeting is Monday! I have already been in contact with the facilitator, and she and I have emailed back and fourth so much I feel like we're already best friends! So things are looking up as far as my Crohns go.... The medication seems to be working, I've found a support group and more specifically a friend with Crohns, I'm seeing the Crohns specialist at Dartmouth on the 27th and I've heard absolutely incredible things about him from my gastroenterolist and from two of the doctors that I work with..... One of whom is friends with the specialist, and he has already called him and told him to be extra nice to me since I'm his friend, LOL.
I just count my blessings for the amount of support I can count on from my wonderful husband, my terriffic health care team, and last but not least, all of you. I know most of you I only know online, but you are all such wonderful people and I truly appreciate that we can all be here for each other for whatever problem we may face.
I'm so glad you found some support specific to your illness. It's always important to find people who are in "similar shoes". I know that things are going to get better for you, but remember, you have all of us here to come to as well. Hang in there!
Shirley
"How I respond to challenges says more about me than doing something easy ever will."
Start 251/Surgery 236.5/Current 141/Goal 130
"How I respond to challenges says more about me than doing something easy ever will."
Start 251/Surgery 236.5/Current 141/Goal 130
Aw..Cindy,
I am sorry to hear you are struggling so. Things will work out in the end, I am sure of it. It seems rather ridiculous that you cannot discuss your "other" issue at the support group! Anything that can upset the balance of your weight loss should be on the table. Perhaps there are others in the group with Crohns, or know people with it that have some insight to share. Geesh!
You have done incredibly, and you have inspired me to go forward on this journey. I am happy to see you found a Crohns support group. Keep me posted. You know where to find me
Sherry
I am sorry to hear you are struggling so. Things will work out in the end, I am sure of it. It seems rather ridiculous that you cannot discuss your "other" issue at the support group! Anything that can upset the balance of your weight loss should be on the table. Perhaps there are others in the group with Crohns, or know people with it that have some insight to share. Geesh!
You have done incredibly, and you have inspired me to go forward on this journey. I am happy to see you found a Crohns support group. Keep me posted. You know where to find me
Sherry
Hi Cindy:
I haven't been on here for awhile and it looks like I missed something. I thought your new GI doc said you didn't have Crohn's? Where is the support group in Manchester? As far as the group asking you not to speak about Crohn's; That's BS. Crohn's is all about your digestive tract which is all about your diet. See if there's another support group you can go to. Have you also tried the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation website? Believe it or not stress will play a very big part on your Crohn's. Try to get plenty of sleep, pace your schedule. If some one ask you to do something you can't say yes all the time. You have to think of your body. When I was first diagnosed with my Crohn's I had a 2 and 4 year old at the time. I had to learn to pace myself and plan ahead. Do you know what foods make you feel sick? It's going to take some time to figure out what foods agree with you and what foods don't. The Crohn's group will really help because people there are going through the same thing as you. I've been looking for a support group for Crohn's for a long time and never knew there was one. It must be new. I would like to go.
Ren
I haven't been on here for awhile and it looks like I missed something. I thought your new GI doc said you didn't have Crohn's? Where is the support group in Manchester? As far as the group asking you not to speak about Crohn's; That's BS. Crohn's is all about your digestive tract which is all about your diet. See if there's another support group you can go to. Have you also tried the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation website? Believe it or not stress will play a very big part on your Crohn's. Try to get plenty of sleep, pace your schedule. If some one ask you to do something you can't say yes all the time. You have to think of your body. When I was first diagnosed with my Crohn's I had a 2 and 4 year old at the time. I had to learn to pace myself and plan ahead. Do you know what foods make you feel sick? It's going to take some time to figure out what foods agree with you and what foods don't. The Crohn's group will really help because people there are going through the same thing as you. I've been looking for a support group for Crohn's for a long time and never knew there was one. It must be new. I would like to go.
Ren
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