Not such a warm welcome

Well I have a friend at work - someone I thought was a good friend. She was not in on my first day back so yesterday was the first time I saw her. I got in before her and after 9 I asked if she was comming in. She's in I was told. Hmm I thought that's odd normally my office is the first place she goes after a vaction or an absence. Well nothing. We saw each other at a meeting later that morning and the only comment I got was "Well look at you". No welcome back no how you feeling. That was it for the day. I expected this reaction from a couple of people but not her. It really bothered me.  So today she decides to pay me a visit and in our conversation she tells me how another person confided in her that it will be difficult to watch me loose weight faster then them and "pass" her. Then the truth came out. It will also be difficult for my "friend" to watch me slim down and become slimmer then her. My first reaction was to try to explain again why I made this very personal decision. I even told her what my starting weight was. Then I thought stop! I don't owe her anything. Everytime she lost some weight I supported her even though I was gaining. I don't know if I'll get past this though.  Any thoughts?

ohhhhh how sad! i don't have any thoughts on how to change this... just wanted to let you know i'm sorry this is happeneing so quickly!.. wow!...... hey at least she was honest with you about her feelings. most just snub you off and you never get the "real answer" out of them even though you can figure it out

What a lousy friend! I'm sorry you didn't get the welcome back that you deserved.

Rosemary, how sad.  I think we all know to expect someone may disappoint us but so quick?  That is a shame.  But I think you handled yourself well - you tried to reach out but recognized there is a limit to how far you can to before explaining yourself becomes justifying your decision.  Some people, probably all of us, have trouble recognizing boundaries sometimes.  Where do you start and I finish?  Your decision is yours and it is about you - not her.  She is struggling with the boundary and it won't help to do anything that blurs it even more.  So, if you act like the mature, independent person I think you are, she may eventually see that you did not do this to hurt her or reflect on her or anything like that.  You did a very brave thing to improve your health and quality of life and it is your right and, in fact, your duty to care of yourself.  There.  I'm sorry you have to cope with this now - or ever.  Treading   

It's sad to think that your friend can't just be happy for you.  Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about someone else's jealousy.  Just take care of yourself.  You did this for you anyway, not for her or any other friends or co-workers.  It's your ride - enjoy it!

Hey Rosemary, This is what I think.  YOU have to remember that this is NOT about YOU.  This is her issue.  This is her own insecurity, her own feelings about being okay or not in her own skin.  You can't own that.  You can and will get past it because you know deep inside you that REAL friends only want good things for you.  Real love is not selfish or self absorbed. Peace, Michelle