Back on Track

Hello Good People,     I've been mostly absent for the past several weeks.  I was coping with hospice care and then the death of my MIL.  Along with breaking my heart, it broke my resolve.  For 8 days I was off program.  Oh, I didn't go totally nuts but I didn't eat well even when and where I could have.  We were camped out at the hospice house and the convienence food choices were certainly not low-carb!  I am disappointed but I have to take it as a learning experience.  I got back on program just 2 days after the funeral and I'm detoxing off of suger, simple carbs and caffeine - again.  Of course I was having fits wondering what I would have done if this had happened post-op?  After all, at 45, I can expect other family and beloved friends to pass away.  I'm going to have to cope without letting my eating plan fall to pieces.  Well, I guess I ought to focus on the positives - that I didn't go 'hog wild' and I put the brakes on pretty quick.      My MIL was a beautiful soul and a health-conscious woman.   She fought cancer like a demon for 14 years!  She was always so supportive of my every effort to shake off some weight.  She hated that her illness took so much of our time.  Silly rabbit.  We loved her and it was a joy to spend time with her and to help her.  I'm a still a bit dazed but I am waking up to the fact that I now have the time to focus and really get my new life-style into full gear.  Time to begin keeping that food journal!  I'd better get busy.  Take good care - Treading

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. I've been having trouble staying logged on to OH, so I've just been reading and not posting.

I too wonder about how to deal with stress, since we're so used to using food. This past week has been a struggle because of some issues at work, and the whole time I was off my plan, I kept asking myself how I will handle things differently a year from now!

It's definitley a learning process.

Very sorry to hear about your loss, I lost my mother to cancer 5 years ago. The eating will sort itself out for you. Trust me!  I have had my ups and downs with emotional eating. You will make mistakes and eat the wrong things ... and you will pay for it!  Trust me once you dump the first time you will remember to do better the next.   We aren't perfect and nothing about this process is.  I have learned how to use my tool and I am trying to make the very most of it.  I haven't had a regret yet!  Keep your chin up and keep your eye on the prize -  YOU SKINNY!!!   Take care Kate

I'm sorry for your loss, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. It must have been a very difficult time for you. You did a great job of getting right back on track. You should be proud of yourself.

Thank you, Ladies, for your well-wishes and support.    I am very glad that I have gotten myself back on track.  But it still bothers me that I have no real plan for dealing with the next emergency in any better fashion.  And for me it is about planning.  Despite the nearly daily trips from home to hospice in Merrimack, I stayed on program because I packed good food choices all according to a plan.  I walked right past the cart burdened with sweets, past the kitchen full of 'easy' foods for the families and went right to Mom's room with my prepared meals.  That worked well for 5 weeks.  But it all went out the window when I no longer had any planned foods, couldn't get home anymore, and had to eat from restaurants and stores.  There are no healthy choices when breakfast is from DD.  Subs and pizza and all the rest are what people eat in a crisis like that.  I could have insisted on getting salads and more salads -but I didn't.  It seemed impossible.     I'm not wanting to keep poking this thing for the guilt of it.  I'd really like to parse it to see what I can come up with as a plan for the future.   Hmmm.... interesting.  Treading      

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your MIL.  Mine also passed away from cancer about 5 years ago.  She was in hospice too, but we were able to keep her at our home, where she had lived for about 2 years prior to becoming sick.  I loved her very much too and miss her terribly.  Don't beat yourself up about slipping away from your eating plan.  You had bigger fish to fry at that point in time.   The good news is that you recognized the slip and got back to your plan.  Maybe your MIL had something to do with that -- now she is someplace where she can support you even more than ever.  Don't hesitate to call on her for help.  I know mine is there for me whenever I ask something of her!

Maybe you can use having this slip now as part of your plan for the next time.  File away how frustrated you feel and remember you don't want to feel this way again.  There's no way to put together a fool-proof plan for next time.  Just make it a point to honor your feelings, and remember that you are worth taking good care of.  Your MIL would want you to, right? I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm in my second marriage now, and didn't get along with either of my MIL's.  I envy you a bit for what you had.  Treasure the memories.

Thanks again,     I was very blessed to have had such a wonderful MIL and her family is a treasure from start to finish.  You are so right.  My heart is crowded with joyful and loving memeories after 25 years together.      A few friends are coming out this weekend to help us catch up on the yard work and put in the flowers.  Just being home is a treat.  But once they leave I will be breaking out my new digital food scale (with nutritional calculator!) and Magic Bullet.  I have almost exactly 3 months before my surgery and I have tons to do so I can't waste a moment.  I hope you enjoy your weekend and that you get some rain.  My lawn is parched!  Take good care - Treading