Relationship Issue

I had the RNY open surgery in July of 01, I have gone from 322 lbs to 175lbs..I have had my tummy tuck last year (that I am NOT happy with at all) and I still have excess skin issues with my legs and sagging breasts...I was told that I would have to pay for any additional surgeries and at 10k per leg I cannot afford it. I look GREAT in clothing, but when they come off...OH MY GOD. I have had dates and most recently I was told by a date after I told him about the surgery that the excess skin would be an issue for him. That he would be shocked if I didnt say anything and we went to bed and he found out that way....How can I handle this situation in the future...after all the emotional turmoil, all the surgery pain, all the pain prior to the surgery, is this what I have to look forward to? Men want me skinny, but cant handle that I am still fat????? I dont get it. What do I do??? Maybe that explains why not many call back. I dont know what to do and I feel like I'm being beaten all over again. I want to be honest, now I'm afraid that my honesty is killing me.

omg what a JERK!!!!dont worry,you will find someone whi will appreciate your body,and you for who and what you are!god,some poeple are just so annoyingly unbelievable it makes me sick!who does he want?barbie?YOU are not the problem he is!!i would keep being up front and honest right from the start,i guess i would rather see someones true colors before its too late!jennifer.

I agree with Jennifer, you will meet someone who appreciates you. I wonder how he would have felt if he disclosed that he wasnt perfect (as I am sure he isnt) in a certain area and you told him you just couldnt be with him because of it. Going forward, I am not sure I would disclose the shape of my skin though. (I didnt before I had surgery) Not that I would be ashamed and not talk about it if I was asked, but the skin is just a part of me...it doesnt define me. Good luck..