Fat life=Big hole=Ready to die...

Patrick, I don't believe you are feeling sorry for yourself. I believe you are in a major depressive state that alters your emotional status. I have been there. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please copy this message you wrote and email to everybody you know. Even if you think they don't care - because I bet that they do. I tried to kill myself about 10 years ago - due to my obesity, my low self-esteem, you name it. I didn't think anybody cared whether I lived or died. I was found by a stranger and rescued. I have found many reasons to live since. When you pull that trigger or swallow those pills or whatever, you are pushed into a deep darkness and attacked by guilt, self-hatred, loathing and beaten with it over and over - please, nothing you are feeling right now is worse than that. You cannot get any lower then you are right now - so from this moment forward it can ONLY get better. Please feel free to email me anytime! Kelly

Fat does not equal unproductive. Please seek help immediately - you aren't worthless. P~

Patrick, Less than 2 weeks ago I was where you are. I was ready to end it all. I had the surgery on May 6th and had been taken off my Antidepressant. I was lost and hit bottom. But these fine people here in this group reached out to me and encouraged me to get some help. Its not easy admitting that you have a problem and need others . But it was the best thing I ever did. The Dr prescribed a little something to help me through until my antidepressant started working again. I am starting to see the joy in life again. But 2 weeks ago you couldnt of convinced me it was there. Please reach out and keep talking to people. I found pretty soon I got pretty sick of my own problems and decided to try to work them out. Just dont give up on yourself or others. God has a purpose for you and only he knows it. We Love you, Laura

Patrick, If you can't get to a local emergency room here is a confidential help number you can call. There are trained people who would love to listen to you. 1-800-784-2433 Chip

Chip, Thanks for posting a number for help. Appreciate it. Amy

Patrick, PLEASE talk with someone ASAP. Even if it's me (and you can email me anytime!!) or another OH member. You are NOT a waste of space. You are here for a reason, as we all are. We may not know you personally, but each and every one of us here can empathize in one form or another with how you're feeling. I used to view myself as a "waste of space", too - and even 1.5 years after WLS, I STILL sometimes feel that way. I've had clinical depression for many years, along with borderline personality disorder. For the longest time, whenever times felt especially unbearable, I would cut up my arms and legs or burn myself with cigarettes to see if anything physical could possibly hurt as bad as I felt emotionally. And you know what? No amount of physical harm to myself ever hurt as badly as I felt inside, nor did the self-injury solve my mental issues. Only with medication, therapy, and the support of family and friends (including many folks here at OH) was I able to "make it". I don't know about your personal support system of family and friends, but you have a vast network of loving, supportive folks here who understand how you feel and care very much about you. Please talk with someone as soon as you can. Continue talking to all of us. We love you and want you to stick around for the long haul!!!! PLEASE feel free to email me anytime. I (and the rest of your OH family) am here for you! ((HUGS)) Amy

Patrick, I think a lot of us have felt this way and I'm so sorry you feel this way. Please know there are MANY people here for you and are very concerned about you. We do care and that's what Obesityhelp is all about. We are here to support and lift you while you are down. I had the same feelings just over a year ago. I didn't think there was a reason to go on. We all deserve to live. You can email me anytime you need a friend and I'll be there even if it's just to listen. We all need to know someone cares and just knowing that was one of the reasons I kept going on with my life. You are not alone, let us be your friend. All my best, Amy

Hi Patrick, You are not alone. Many of us have felt like you, but only you have been brave enough to post and are allowing us to help. PLEASE call someone - anyone - a trusted friend, your nearest emergency room, 9-1-1...but do call someone to talk. You are NOT nothing, you are NOT a waste of space. Help is on the way, hon. Kristen

Patrick, Thanks for reaching out. Please, just grab one of the many hands offered and hold on!!!!!! You obviously have something to offer, just look at how you have affected these good folks already! Love ya, brother! Bonnie B

Patrick please do not feel at all that your a waste of space. Nobody is a waste of space and everyone has a purpose. You really need to speak to someone and get help.Its obvious that you want and need the help or else you wouldnt be posting on the board.Thats the first step.I have watched a very close friend go through deep depression and I did all I could to help him out of it.Eventually things did turn around for him and now he's married and has a child. Please do not give up.I dont know if you believe in prayer but it does work. I heard a saying once that I have kept in my head and has helped me through trying times."If God brings you to it,he will get you through it." It does help.Please feel free to e-mail me anytime.I will keep you in my prayers. Lorie