Sad News This Morning

  My sister in-law has had a reoccurrence of her cancer , but nothing can be done this time. She had both breast removed two yrs.ago. Then last year there was another lump under her arm. That was removed. They tell her now it has reached her liver & nothing more can be done for her. My husband has 2 other sisters that had cancer . Sadly one has already passed away. I am at a loss. I do not know what I can say to her. Her whole family , including her are destroyed . I feel so helpless. She doesn't want anyone to say anything about it to her. I am very sad .

Jill,  I am so, so sorry. When you asked what to say to her....I make it a point to be honest.  I have watched a very close aunt and uncle die of cancer.  I don't pull any punches.  I figure I have things to say to them before they go.  When they told me I told both of them "I'm sorry, I will miss you terribly".  I realize this doesn't work for everyone.  Even Uncle Ralph's kids weren't the way I am so maybe my way is wrong.  Just remember one thing.........once they are gone you can't tell them how much you love them and how much you have cherished your time together.   Maybe your sister in law will be more receptive a little later.  My prayers will be with you all.  Jeannie

My stepdad passed away earlier this year and I made sure that I wrote him a letter with everything I wanted to say (the cancer also took his hearing).  I spent as much time with him as I could.  Other than that, there isn't much you can do but provide a shoulder when needed.  For yourself, try to say what is in your heart so you have no regrets when it is too late.  I know he just appreciated people taking the time to stop by & visit with no talk about the cancer - we all knew that is why they stopped by but he just liked to BS with them. Take care.

Jillie girl, as bad as it is to be told that your loved one is going to die and soon, there is a blessing in it,too.  You know that you don't have a lot longer to say the things that we never seem to think about until it is to late.  Things like I love you, I will miss you, and how important that person is to you, and what impact they have had on your life.  It is only normal that she needs time to accept and adjust, but you can alway write her and tell her what you need to even if she doesn't want to talk about it.  You know that I am with you in this time of sorrow.  If you need anything, just ask.

I am very aware what cancer does. I sat by both my parents bedside as they died from it.I believe everyone handles it differently. My father died first. He was told he had cancer & he went home & went to bed & waited for it to take him.(it took 2yrs.) He wasn't ill when he was told. He just wrote life off after being told. He had us do everything for him. I mean everything. My mother was told 4 yrs.later.She was given 6mos.(she lasted 6wks.) But she lived the most she could until she couldn't stand anymore. She didn't take to the bed till 1 wk.before she died. She was always a big beleiver..she was glad to be going home.

Hi Jill, I am so sorry. All you can do is be there for them and support them. I lost a sister to lung cancer at age 54. It is just devastating. My prayers are with you and your family. Mona