Has anyone experienced this?

I had my Lap RNY on 12/28/05 with Dr. McBride. I lost about 80# before surgery and I've lost about 90# since for a total of 170#. I started at 521# and still have a long ways to go. I'm struggling because I'm not used to feeling good about myself or the positive attention and I'm starting to sabatoge my weight loss. I finally figured out that this is going on and am starting to turn it around. I guess I'm so used to beating myself up and feeling negative and I can't really do that now. Up to this point as I had the attention, I would negate the nice comments inside my head by saying yea I should be doing better, I did this and this wrong. Now for the first time I can FEEL and see the difference in my body and how I look. It's such a new good feeling and I'm not sure what to do with that. Does this make sense to anyone? This is surgery is a tool and I want to make this a lifestyle change and never go back to the way I was. I guess I'm afraid that I'm going to be too uncomfortable with this and go back to my old ways. I'm thankful that I've figured this much out so far and that by writing this I am headed back in the right direction. I've been on another WLS message board, but it wasn't local and I really need some local support and I'm excited that I found this! Thanks for listening! Terri

Hi Terri, WooHoo! Congratulations on your weight loss. You are doing great. It is so easy to beat ourselves up. It also doesn't help with all the discrimination we face because of our weight. You deserve to be healthy and feel good about yourself. Local support groups can help you with this. Also you might consider getting some counseling. At the support group in Scottsbluff our psychologist addresses the issue of self esteem and to cut out the negative self talk we do. Email me privately and I can send you some stuff. Keep up the good work. Let us know how you are doing. Mona

Be proud of where you came from and to lose all that weight before surgery say alot for you! You will do just fine and yes its hard to see yourself anyother way besides obese, I.m over 4 years out and I can now look in a mirror or a window refletion and see the new Beth. And I like what I see and how I feel about myself. I was the one who sat in the back of the room and now I can and do get up in from of people( over 500 at the national convention in 04 and 05) and felt very confident! Find a support group in omaha or I can give you one of my friends that just moved to CB. She also had the band in 03. Keep in touch, Beth in NP