Friends are changing...

Hi everyone, The weight is still falling off, I love being on the winning side of the weight-loss. However has anyone noticed some changes is their friends since WLS surgery? In my circle of friends I am the only one who has had surgery. I have this one friend who is heavy also, she is really pulling me down emotionally. I walk the same times everyday, I am at the pool the same four day of the week, but she will call or just say things that are negative. She obsess over how much weight I've lost, which really bothers me. I want to just pull away from her, you know distance myself from her. I try to justify my actions, but I know how hard my personal issues are. Doing the right things are always to hardest, just like eating the wrong stuff is so easy. I've lost 84lbs since 4/4/06 I should be happy, but who can you tell when one of your close friends has a hard time with dealing with my weight-loss? Okay, I am done I am truly sorry for bring anyone down. Everyone take care, Brooke

Hi Brooke, It is hard dealing with negativity from your friends about your wls. You might want to limit your contact with your friend. This is her problem, not yours. She needs to work it out for herself. You may never change her thinking. You are doing great losing weight. You need to be around people to support you and not expect you to justify having the surgery or the weight loss. Keep up the good work. Mona

Brooke, Oh how I can relate. Only it was just a couple of my friends, but worse it was my own brother. He is very heavy and could easily get the surgery, but won't. The night before I went in for my rny, I called him and he actually hung up on me. He kept telling me I could do it on my own etc. Well if I could have done it on my own I wouldn't have weighed 312 lbs. He has since kinda accepted the fact that I eat different. My sister in law says it is just pure jealousy on his part. I know he would like to get the surgery, but he is afraid. We all were when we started out. I have a person I work with every day that has treated me poorly also. Wish I knew what to do also, but don't. Just distance myself from the neg people. Hang in there, it eventually does get better. Rhonda 312/164/155?

Thank-you, It's good to hear from you, I was feeling so guilty for pulling back. I really need to get started with my local support group! I think this is what I needed to push me in the door. Everyone have a great week! Brooke

Brooke, your friend may be afraid that when you lose weight you won't want to be seen with her anymore. Remember how people would avoid sitting next to you, cause you were fat? Like the fat would jump from your thighs to theirs. If only it had been that easy. Fear comes across in many ways, jealousy, anger, etc. Have a heart to heart with her, and tell her that if she can't be excited for you, and share in your joy, then you will have to limit contact with her. It's her problem if she can't be the friend you thought she was. I am not saying this to be harsh, but your being thinner changes things for her too. Who will she hang out with? Now maybe she will be THE fattest person in a room, and I remember what a burden that was. Betty