Getting to know you

I've been a part of OH for about 6 years and we used to have a very active, warm and supportive North Carolina forum. I know that we still have warm, supportive people lurking here on the forum, but we don't really 'know' each other now. We used to periodically do 'Getting to know you' threads which helped to break the ice and help us get to know one another a little better. So, in an effort to get to know you better I'm posting this thread which was suggested by another old time member. I hope that new and old members will join in as we work to find the warm, supportive forum we once had.

Here are some questions for this week. I look forward to seeing your responses.

(Generally, we copy and paste the questions into our reply and then add our answers under the question, but do whatever works best for you.)

What is the story behind one of your scars?

What do you "know now" that you wish you "knew then"?

Have you ever won a prize, if so what was it?

What subject do you wish you had paid more attention to in school?

If you could have coffee with someone famous, who would it be?

What is your favorite thing about your mom?

What song do you love to dance to?

What was the worst punishment your parents ever enacted?

Who was the best boss you ever worked for?

What restaurant do you love even though you know you shouldn't?

If you did not need the money what would you do for work?

If you had an extra room in your house what would you use it for?

How would you explain love to somebody who had never heard of it before?

What is your warmest birthday memory?

What is a good place to travel, but you would not want to live there?

What is the story behind one of your scars?

I have two scars on my left leg. I was in an automobile accident about a decade ago and my left ankle was crushed between the brake and emergency brake. My left ankle was sheared off, so I have 3, 3 inch screws attaching the ankle to my tibia. I also have a 2 titanium plates and 12 screws holding the fibula together. I can tell when the weather is going to change before the weather forecast. Now, that it's been more than a decade, you can't even see the scars unless I specifically point them out and I am able to walk with a normal gate. I can even sport high heels which I thought I'd never wear again after the accident.

What do you "know now" that you wish you "knew then"?

There are soooo many things, but I think I really wish that I knew what my life would be like after having weight loss surgery. I think I would have done it much, much earlier and in doing so I would have realized the health and quality of life benefits so much earlier. I also have seen the enormous impact the changes in my behavior associated with my weight loss surgery have made on my daughter and I wish I had done it sooner so that it might have had a similar impact on my sons who are a decade older.

Have you ever won a prize, if so what was it?

Hmmm... I don't really ever recall winning a prize.

What subject do you wish you had paid more attention to in school?

Probably math. I've always been math challenged. I found one teacher that really helped me understand, but generally I have always had a hard time with it. Because I have such a hard time with math, it impacted my understanding of the sciences.

If you could have coffee with someone famous, who would it be?

That's a difficult question because there are a number of people I'd like to have coffee with... President Obama, President Clinton, President Lincoln, Oprah, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Diane Sawyer, Richard Gere,  ...

What is your favorite thing about your mom?

I lost my mom in March of 2010, so there are soooo many things I miss about her, but I think that my favorite thing was that we were good friends. Not many people have the privilege of being friends with their parents and it's something that I both appreciated and miss. She was a kind, compassionate woman. She let me know it's important to be kind and compassionate even if someone is not being kind, because we never know what burdens someone is carrying. She lived her life being kind and compassionate and taught me to strive to do the same in her memory.

What song do you love to dance to?

Just about anything! I love to dance!! That doesn't mean I do it well, but I really love to dance. I remember dancing on my daddy's shoes as a little girl. I love, love, love to dance. I remember when I was a teenager and they introduced what was similar to Jazzercise or Zumba. It was hands down my favorite class and it's still my favorite way to get exercise because my focus is on having fun so it's not a chore.

What was the worst punishment your parents ever enacted?

My father packed up my clothes and donated them because I didn't clean up my room when I was about 10 years old.

Who was the best boss you ever worked for?

I've had several really good bosses, but the best boss I ever had was probably my dad. My father had a Technical Publications business that he started when I was a teenager as 'slave labor'...lol, but in time I went from doing menial tasks to actually editing and then writing as we found that I had a real talent for writing. I also found that I had a strong mechanical ability as well as an understanding of software and business process. He mentored me and I found my wings. I set off on my own, but went back to working for and with him after I proved to myself that I really was competent and wasn't 'just' Daddy's girl. It was interesting to go from working for him to working with him.

What restaurant do you love even though you know you shouldn't?

Hmmm... Again, too many possibilites here. I love Mandarin Gourmet, which is a Chinese Restaurant in San Jose CA that has wonderful pot stickers, hot and sour soup, Chinese chicken salad, and honeyed walnut prawns... OMGoodness!! P.F. Chang's lettuce cups are pretty wonderful too! I love milkshakes from Cookout, but I can't have much, so it's not worth getting one. I love the Chicken Mini's from Chick-Fil-A because they remind me of my dear Mother-in-Law's sweet yeast rolls and I must admit to enjoying them on a rare occasion. Now, I have learned that moderation is the key to success. I can have anything from any of these or the myriad of other goodies.

If you did not need the money what would you do for work?

Again, so many possibilities. I would love to work as a Bariatric Patient Navigator. I also would probably want to be psychologist with a focus on bariatric issues. I'd love to work at a museum too. Finally, I really think I'd love to work as a teacher.

If you had an extra room in your house what would you use it for?

We actually do and we have a guest room, an office and a craft room. I also love having a formal living room and dinning room. I know some people think that they are a waste of space, but I really enjoy the peace and tranquility of the living room. It's filled with things that remind me of family members that have passed. I also love the formal dinning room because again, it is filled with things that I've collected and inherited over the years.

How would you explain love to somebody who had never heard of it before?

Love is a multifaceted thing. There is the love you feel for your spouse, the love you feel for your child or grandchild, the love you feel for your family... parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, the love you feel for your friend... I just met my first grandchild a few weeks ago and the deep, immediate affection and connection I felt for him could only be matched by what I have felt for my own children. To me, love is a deep affection and personal connection to someone for which I care deeply.  For me, love is an intense feeling of deep caring, compassion, kindness, and affection that goes far beyond the bounds of friendship.

What is your warmest birthday memory?

On my 5th birthday while we were stationed in Yalova, Turkey we had a birthday party with a number of the kids from the local base. My mother made me a Barbie doll cake that sat on a music box that turned and played happy birthday. We also had 8mm movies of Woody Wood Pecker.

What is a good place to travel, but you would not want to live there?

I would love to go to Israel and back to Istanbul, but I doubt that I would want to live there because they don't seem safe to me.

Wow - I know the Mandarin Gourmet - down in the Santa Teresa area, yes? They used to be (or had the original shop) in downtown Los Gatos on main street.  MuShu Pork was amazing.

Hi Annyka,

Yep, what a small world! I'm actually from the Almaden Valley in San Jose, CA so we went there often. They are still right off of Blossom Hill Road in the Santa Teresa area right across from Oakridge Mall. They also have another store on De Anza Boulevard near Stevens Creek Boulevard in Cupertino, sandwiched between a number of the Apple Computer buildings.

I just returned from a trip to CA to visit our sons and their wives and meet the newest member of our family, our new grandson. Whenever we go home we have go to places to eat that just aren't available in NC and Mandarin Gourmet is one of the go to places. During our nearly one month stay I think that we picked up dinner there at least 4 times. It's not cheap, but it sure was good! We love their Chinese chicken salad, pot stickers, hot and sour soup, and minced chicken in lettuce cups, but I have to agree that their MuShu pork is also just wonderful! I really have never had anything there that wasn't delightful.

Mandarin Gourmet had been our family's go to place for many celebrations for decades... birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, wedding/baby showers, etc. It's interesting how food triggers memories. I know that I used to eat until I thought I would be sick. Since my RNY 5 years ago, I've learned that I can enjoy just about anything I want, but I just have to do it in moderation.

What is the story behind one of your scars?

My left wrist has a bunch of scars on it from stitches I had to get when I was 4. My Mammy (paternal Grandmother) had gone out the back door to turn the dog out. I would normally push the door and let myself out. But it had latched and I went through the glass then turned and snatched my hand back through. I remember my Grandfather wrapping my hand with the kitchen towel and holding me in his lap while he drove to the doctor's home. My Mammy had fainted and was in the back seat. The doc spent more time making sure she was okay than stitching me up.

What do you "know now" that you wish you "knew then"?

That old adage about don't sweat the small stuff...it's all small stuff really. As far as WLS I'd have to say I really wish I hadn't tried the "bad" foods and reintroduced them into my life.  

Have you ever won a prize, if so what was it?

I won a pedometer at the county employees wellness day last year...I should probably find it and use it. hmmmm?

What subject do you wish you had paid more attention to in school?

I loved school. I should have buckled down a little more my freshman year and mastered basic Algebra better than I did.

If you could have coffee with someone famous, who would it be?
I love the life coach on Oprah named Iyanla. She is phenomenal. I am such a foodie at heart that I would have to share a meal with Paula Dean. I don't think I could limit that meet up to just coffee.

What is your favorite thing about your mom?

My mother is a BEAUTIFUL soul. She has never met a stranger and she goes above and beyond to care for those around her. To be loved by her is like having won the lottery.

What song do you love to dance to?

I am not a dancer...never have been. I lack the necessary rhythm to be confident in doing so BUT 2 years ago David's niece got married. We had been busy entertaining and visiting with guests but when Eric Clapton's "You look wonderful tonight" started playing David found me and danced me around the floor to it.

What was the worst punishment your parents ever enacted?

I could never quite make curfew (midnight) as a teenager. Most of the time I was within a few minutes of it and everything seemed to work itself out by the next day...but the time I didn't come home until 4 in the morning...well I lost my car and driving privileges for a month.

Who was the best boss you ever worked for?

Hands down ...MY DAD. He was a commercial fisherman and I grew up on his trawler. My Mom and I crewed the boat for several fishing seasons....oysters, flounder, shrimp and crabs.

What restaurant do you love even though you know you shouldn't?

CookOut. It's like a fast food Mecca for my family. All the kids love it and out here by the coast it's the only place that has Cheerwine on tap for David.

If you did not need the money what would you do for work?

I think this is my FAVORITE question. My dad always told me to pick a job based on the rewards and not the paycheck. I'm back in school to finish my degree in counseling. After the ordeal of losing my husband in 2001 I still want to work as a grief and bereavement counselor...the idea of being a hospital chaplain also has a huge appeal to me. Obviously money is not my motivator for those career choices.

If you had an extra room in your house what would you use it for?

Library, craft room. exercise room, guest room.....but then again just a bigger kitchen would work too.

How would you explain love to somebody who had never heard of it before?

When you hold your baby for the very first time and look into their face and that completeness that you feel....that's love. That sigh your heart makes when you come home at the end of the day and see your mate smiling up at you....that's love.

What is your warmest birthday memory?

Probably my 16th birthday. I was so excited to be getting my drivers license. BUT....my Mom woke me up to tell me that school had been cancelled. I couldn't quite wrap my head around that little nugget at 6 a.m. but once I looked outside and saw snow on the ground it made a little more sense. Then dread set in...how could I get my license in a snow storm. It NEVER snows here. Finally found a DMV that was open late that afternoon about 4 counties away. My dad drove me and I got that coveted piece of plastic.

What is a good place to travel, but you would not want to live there?

I'd have to say Vegas. Great place for a visit but it's just too busy. I crave a much more relaxed setting the majority of the time.

Regarding scars, I have one on my foot that I got when running across the lawn one evening at dusk as our family was finishing up a move from a rental to a house we had just purchased. I didn't see the fire grate sitting on the lawn and slammed my left foot into, slicing through my left instep. Of course, all of the first aid stuff was long gone so my mother gave my father one of her fine linen table cloths and he wrapped it up before taking me to the infirmary. Like your grandmother, my mother fainted once my father was there. I now sport a 2-1/2 in scar that actually has 52 stitches because it was stitched from the inside out. Funny how we can have such similar experiences a continent and decades apart?

Regarding the What do you know now that you wish you knew then... I 'know' that I shouldn't sweat all of the small stuff, but I think that I must be a slow learner because I always seem to sweat all of the stuff, big and small. Regarding trying the 'bad' foods. I honestly don't know that I think it's so much an issue of reintroducing bad foods, as it is not finding ways to identify and manage the behaviors that undermine our ability to moderate the amount of the 'bad' foods we ingest. I have found that I am an overgrown 3 year old and if think that something is forbidden, I will darn well have it. I have also found that if I don't make anything off limits, but instead make sure that I 'take care of business' first by eating protein and complex carbs that I'm able to have my proverbial cake and eat it too without having it undermine my health and well-being. I wonder if that would work for you?

I think that digging out that prize you won just might help you gain the bigger prize. I find that if I wear a pedometer I move my tail more and if I log my intake and activity I do a better job with choices.

I think that I'd love to add the two people you'd like to have coffee or dinner with too. Both would be interesting. Maybe with Paula Deen's new outlook on healthful eating we could find a few recipes that would satisfy our eyes, stomachs and souls.

It sounds like you have an absolutely lovely mother. You are so lucky to have her and she to have you.

I'm so glad to hear that David took you for a spin around the dance floor. I don't know that it's important that we dance well, but more so that we dance with joy in our hearts. It sounds like you and David did just that.

Hmmm.... CookOut. Whenever we go back home, we alway**** the places that aren't available here. If we are ever able to move back to California to be close to our sons and their families, CookOut is one of the places to eat here that I will miss.

I think that you will make a wonderful counselor, be it bereavement or working as a hospital chaplain. Your gentle, sensitive, caring soul begs to be shared with others. I think it may make you rich in ways money cannot touch.

As a very new Nana, I have to say that I second your description of love. The only other time I ever felt such a direct and abiding love was when I held my children. Of course, there is a different, strong love I feel for Ben and have felt for my parents and other family members, but the direct, immediate connection I felt when I first saw and held my grandson is definitely what I would call love.

It sounds like your father was a very, very special man... in so many ways. You are definitely blessed with lovely, loving parents.

I've only been to Las Vegas a couple of times and while it is a nice place to visit, I agree that I don't think I'd want to live there either.

What is the story behind one of your scars?

I have a half-moon shaped scar on my forehead from falling out of my high chair as a baby.

What do you "know now" that you wish you "knew then"?

That it is possible to be happy and eating under 1000 calories.

Have you ever won a prize, if so what was it?

Named one of the top 25 influential women on the internet in 2001.

What subject do you wish you had paid more attention to in school?

Math!

If you could have coffee with someone famous, who would it be?

Mikhail Gorbachev

What is your favorite thing about your mom?

We're estranged, but she was a talented artist - she did murals in our bedrooms when i was younger.

Who was the best boss you ever worked for?

Myself!

What restaurant do you love even though you know you shouldn't?

I don't believe there's any you shouldn't love - wise choices can be made almost anywhere. Favorite restaurant is Emeril's in New Orleans.

If you did not need the money what would you do for work?

We're hoping to some day have a small working farm that would donate produce to needy families and give work experience to foster kids.

If you had an extra room in your house what would you use it for?

A true home office (I work from home, we have an office, but I share it with my husband's "fun computer")

How would you explain love to somebody who had never heard of it before?
Pure joy.

What is a good place to travel, but you would not want to live there?

Japan

"We're hoping to some day have a small working farm that would donate produce to needy families and give work experience to foster kids."

I love this idea. Gardening is my therapy of sorts and being able to use that in such a productive way is a very do-able goal. Congratulations on your award by the way.

Congratulations on your recognition as being one of the top 25 influential women on the internet in 2001. That's quite an achievement!

I noticed that you mentioned that you were happy eating under 1000 calories and it looks like you are a couple of years post op. Do you still only consume less that 1000 calories? I know that most people consume somewhere between 800 and 1000 calories during their weight loss phase, but most increase their consumption once they reach maintenance. I consume about 1600 to 2000, so I was surprised to see that you consume 1000 calories.

While I am actually a tiny part Japanese, I've never been there and would love to go visit some of my distant cousins and see where my great grand father was born.

I'm 14 months out, and still losing my last bit (less than 25 pounds to my personal goal), so I'm still in loss. Some days it's a bit rough, but if I plan well, it's do-able. Not sure what my maintenance level will be, but we'll see soon enough I hope!