3 ½ years later, it is not the first thing I think about....

3 ½ years later, it is not the first thing I think about….

 

Will that chair hold me?

Can I fit in the booth without my chest sitting on the table?

Can I sit in that booth without it giving me the Heimlich maneuver?

Maybe I can fit through the turnstile sideways?

Can they see the sweat I feel on my forehead?

Do I still smell fresh?

Can I squeeze past that display without knocking something over?

Can I fit in the seatbelt of someone else’s car?

Can I keep up with this person as we walk to our meeting?

Will they immediately discount me for the job because I am overweight without even assessing my skills?

Can I find an end seat in the auditorium, pew, etc. so if I have to get up I do not have to crawl over anyone?

Will I spill over into the other seat on the bus, plane, etc?

If I drop something, how am I going to pick it up?

If I go to the altar to pray, can I get down and more importantly, can I get back up?

Can I sit in that chair without it squeaking?

Can I walk across the floor without it creaking?

Will I fall through the wooden planks on that porch?

Can I fit in that swing?

Is that folding chair going to give out on me?

 

Honestly, I still have these thoughts at some point. They just no longer consume me! I have not reached my goal, but I have certainly come a long way!

 

Keep pressing on in your journey and reflect on the small positives as well as the big WOW’s!

 

Oh, Boy!!!  haven't those thoughts been on all of our minds...

And didn't you HATE those darn plastic chairs... the arms didn't give to fit my butt and everything just squeezed out... and i KNEW that those legs were going to fold as soon as i sat on it.  There were places we couldn't go because i knew i couldn't fit in the chairs....

Have you ever been to Carolina Theater here in Durham?  It's a very old theater and it still has the old seats.  We were there once, and i had to squeeze in and  sit sideways during the whole movie.  One of my goals during this process is to fit in those seats.... I haven't gone back yet, but i will... and i won't be sitting sideways!!!

Y-AMEN!

I've noticed that these things are not the first things I think of anymore, but that I am still very aware... Sometimes, just as much, but I'm aware that they no longer 'gate' me. I still find myself assessing weather I'll fit through a space and have to make 'mental corrections' because, now, 99% of time I absolutely will fit. I'm still somewhat surprised at just how small I am or how 'big' the car seat, airline seat, or recliner is. 

I'm a little ways behind you as I approach my 3 yr anniversary and wonder if I'll always have an 'awareness' of my size. I'm getting more used to the smaller me, but still find myself somewhat surprised now and then.

I don't find that I worry about those things for me, but I worry for other large people I see as I know how they feel. I used to worry about plastic chairs the most they were my enemy LOL and worring about my wake knocking something over. Sincve my surgery I have done the same things as we did before...I just take up less space and can fly coach to Europe and not be the fattest person on the plane, tour bus , etc. Also I can now buy clothes anywhere I want in any country, go ahead lose my luggage I have no fear LOl

OMG I love this post Valerie!!!!
I know these thought so well they consumed my life at one time.
Sometimes I still have them but not like I did.
I love that good feeling when I go out to eat and can slid right on in a booth or when I go to the restroom and can fit in a regular stall boy that makes me feel great!!!
                                                         Annie

Excellent post and congrats on your tremendous success!

All of those are great WOWs aren't they?! Congratulations on your success. I have been amazed at the amount of extra space between me and the steering wheel and how easily I slide into a booth now, after only 42 lbs. There are so many little wow moments that make us truly appreciate what a blessing WLS is!
Thanks for sharing this post.