really scared

hi
i am really scared and feel so very alone today. i meet my doctor one on one for the first conselation this afternoon. i am very wierded out. i iam trying to get a grip and know that alot of my wierdness is this appointment. couldnt sleep, back killed me (not unusual) but i got one of my headaches so i had to stay laying down and one situation just made the other worse. now i am a bit better but still feel so wierd. is this normal? so many questions, so much uncertianty. can anyone help?
deb

Okay Deb - take a deep breath. There's a million things going on in your head right now and you've just got to try and relax. Today is the first step in getting you in full control of your life. If you're like me then things have been pretty  chaotic up until now. Try making a list - maybe of questions you want to ask the doctor - maybe a list of things that are bothering you right now (physical ailments - emotional things - things that are out of control). Sometimes just writing it down is enough for me to feel like I've acknowledged it - later I can look back and sort out the things that I can control or the things that I just have to let go of.

By the way I passed through Troy this past week on my way to Albemarle for Christmas. It's a beautiful part of the state that you live in. Let me know how your appointment goes this afternoon. PM me anytime you want to talk.

- Iris

ok, i slept on it, it my equavatent to sleep. i normally would have gotten up hours ago when by back started hurting and woke me up but one the the assitant, jan, and the dr both stressed was how important it was for me to use my cpap. i had heard it time after time before but hubby NEVER goes to any drs appointments with me but did this thime so he heard it. i put it on last night and tried to stay there to keep it on and now i am dying. i dont really mind it but i never put it on after the first tie i am up because i am up and down after that. ibut ack to original thought. i splept on it and i still am nervous abou this doctor. if one is so busy he keeps me waiting until 8 oclock, is something wrong or is it jus testing my deermination to have this. he was really late to the seminar thing i went to too. still have knots. wish i knew if this was the reason my depression has kicked up.
smiles
deb

Deb,

As you will learn over time, I too suffer from depression and it is something that you'll really need to work with and on to manage through this process. If you don't have a counselor you are seeing regularly that has experience with WLS and/or you personally, be sure to get one soon. I believe it will be critical to your success in this process. 

Please know that there are different types of CPAPs and different settings. There are also different types of masks. It takes time to become adjusted and accustomed to the CPAP, but going without is really not an option. You are at significantly increased risk for heart attack and stroke without using the CPAP and I know that my program won't allow you to undergo the surgery if you haven't been using it and/or 'forget' to bring it with you to surgery. Believe it or not the CPAPs have a 'tattletell' feature that allows them to see if you have been using it... not just leaving it on, but using it. What will they come up with next? LOL

Re: the Dr. I think it's important that you find someone you are comfortable with and that you feel is competent. It sounds like it might be a good idea for you to talk to a few more surgeon's and see a few more programs. Check with your insurance to see if they have restrictions on who you can see, i.e., my insurance requires that I can only go to an ASBS Center of Excellence, so even though there are several surgeons and programs in the Triangle, there's only one that is a center of excellence, so I had to use them. You just don't want to get your heart set on a surgeon/program and find that your insurance won't cover them. 

All the best,

Hi Deb, 

I find that when I'm really stressed I have trouble with serious headaches. I also have trouble sleeping and like you, I find that one thing seems to feed the other and creates a vicious cycle.  Like Iris, I find that making a list of my concerns helps me. It helps me focus on what I'm concerned about. I'm able to look at what I want to talk to the Dr about.  I hope that your consult went well and that the Dr was able answer your concerns and alleviate some of the stress you are feeling. I think that they can help with some of it, but in my case, there were things that I had to work on myself. Fears I had regarding surgery in general and making this huge step in specific. Concerns about whether I could be successful losing the weight and more importantly, keeping it off. How would it be different this time? While the surgery is not a cure-all, it does provide a tool you can use to strip of most, if not all of the excess weight and maintain those loses in the long run.

I wish you all the best and hope that you will come back and let us know how your appointment went.

as i posted to iris i dont mentally feel much more reassured. i mean, i know i can do it and it is best, i just dont know aout him. and staying in bed for the cpap is painful past beneficial. today i may see if there are oher doctors nearby. please contnue to give me your ideas and support me.
deb

Deb,

If at all possible, I suggest that people considering WLS consult with at least 3 different practices. You will learn more from each practice you visit. Some practices always 'do this' and some always 'do that' and some 'do this or that' depending on your cir****tance. You want to find a practice and a Dr that you feel comfortable with and that provides all of the types of information and support you feel necessary to help you be successful... not just coming through the surgery, but during the weight loss process and finally in learning to maintain the weight you have lost. 

I'm not sure that I understand your comment about the CPAP. While I know from experience that they can take a while to get used to, they should not be 'painful' in any way. If you have been diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea, it's really critical that you find a CPAP that works for you that you can use until you lose enough weight that hopefully, it will no longer be necessary. 

Please keep coming back and letting us know what you need in terms of support and ask as many questions as you have. Often, when one member ask a question, either someone else was wondering the same thing or you'll find several people who will chime in with answers. 

Wishing you all the best,

when i say the cpap hurts, it is not the machine or the process. it is my back from trying to stay in bed. my normal habit for the last as long as i remember is i fall asleep on the couch after dinner briefly. i go to bed. i can put it an and go to sleep but i wake up, usually back or side pain, within 2 2 1/2 hours. i get up and sit then lay on the couch. sleep for another hour or tow. that is about 12. i will sit up till the pain subsides and go back to bed and stay an hour or two. then up and by 3 or so i usually just stay up. sometimes i will lay back on the couch about 530 for another 1/2 hour or so. haven't slept well in so very long. tried every perscription and over the counter and herbal. valerian worked one night. abien, not at all. seoqueal made me sleep alittle but i was a drunken zombie all the next day. worst reaction i have ever had. i made peace with not sleeping. trying to stay in bed for the cpap is so very painful. there are not many practices within the distance for me that i wouldn't have to stay there after the surgery for a long time. this practice requires you stay within 90 minutes after the surgery for like 2 weeks or more. thanks for letting me ask questions.deb

I think it sounds like you may need to see about being able to make your CPAP somewhat 'portable' then so that you can find a way to use it. I hear that it's painful, but it's critical to your health that you find a way to use it. I'd work with your Dr, respiratory therapist, etc. to find a workable solution because it so very important. This is so serious that it is reason that they often approve surgeries and you are likely to die early if you don't find a way to make it work. I'm sure that your situation is unusual, but not unheard of and that if you press you can find someone to help you find a workable solution. 

Regarding Dr's...  Each Dr's office has different protocols. Just because this Dr requires that you stay within 90 mins for 2 weeks doesn't mean that all do. I know that the program that I use is accustomed to having people travel from far and wide for their surgery with them and they do not require that 2 week stay within 90 mins, so I'm sure that their are other programs that might be more flexible on that issue. Keep looking and you'll find someone that can and will work with you. 

Chronic sleep deprivation can cause depression, anxiety and weight gain. It is even dangerous to drive sometimes because it affects your reflexes.
Can you leave your cpap on and take the machine with you when you get up to lay on the sofa? I know it would be a little aggravating but it sounds like you need it.
I have read where some, not all, WLS pts are able to get off of their CPAP when they lose weight. Maybe this will happen for you.
If your fears about your surgeon are true fears and not just anxiety in overdrive, I think, like Barbara said you should consult with more than one physician or practice. Ask people on the forums about doctors and in real life, if you know their patients like at support groups.
I wish you every success with your decision.