keeping strong

You know, I hate to sound  "flippant", but if you have long hair and discuss with family and friends about going to a shorter style, you will get the same reaction, and for different reasons, some its just an opinion, some are jealous you are open for a change, some are afraid you will look better than they do, some just don't have the guts to do it themselves. If you need this surgery, and have suffered all your life being obese, and have not been able to manage your weight, you have co-morbidities or will- the benefits are worth all the risks, and no one will ever understand that except you.  
 When someone tells you not to have RNY surgery I would question their motive. Ask them why. You will find most people are misinformed. How can someone who does not have the facts, statistics, health history, etc. make a medical decision for you? Yes there are risks, but do they know the risks we take being overweight?  My sister was truly concerned about the risk-but now-a year later-she admits she hates being the "heavier" sister.

hi
i am still in the deciding stage, well i have pretty much decided, now if the doctor will just agree to do it. when it comes to telling people about it, i am alittle undecided there too. i have told all my doctors and therapists, and my AA sponsor and a few others close to me and so far all i have gotten are very to moderate positive reactions. the doctors all think it is the best thing. i was nervous about telling my sponsor - but i have NO secerets from her. i expected a more "just use the program and you and your HP can loose the weight" but i did not get that at all. she was way supportive. i don't know if i will tell 'everyone'. i do believe you are only as sick as your secerts but so long as one person knows, it is not a secert. i also don't believe in lying so if directly asked, i would have to come up with a cute quirp to say that was not a lie, maybe  i will just say yes. i am not ashamesed, any more than i am ashamed of being a recovering alcoholic. but i also know there is a difference between being honest and being stupid.
smiles,
deb

 I don't know if this will help you..... But this is my story, at first I wanted to keep the surgery to myself having read on here about peoples negative reactions. That said, I did keep it to myself at first, but but as I told a person here and there I have gotten a lot of support. Most peoples reactions are and have been positive. With the exeception of one person. After losing a bit of weight my tops were 5/6X, I was shopping for 3x tops. At the check out I mentioned that I had the surgery and had lost a lot of weight. The lady gave me a look, and said she had lost a lot of weight the right way and preferred to do the right way by diet and exercise. I explained that I had done weigh****chers in the past but my problem was that I just didn't feel full with the portions I was allowed to eat and as lose more weight it gets harder and harder (at least for Me) to keep to the points. While not so bad in the beginning, just making better choices as you go along there's less and less food. I don't know why I told her this but she was very judge mental. 

I guess my point and advice is get the surgery and after you have it done you won't have to worry about the negative comments so much. Most of what you get is the risk etc. After you have had it is what's been done is done. So you avoid a lot of peoples *helpful* suggestions.

I also don't think you will regret the surgery. After all I'm sure if you could have done it the other way you would have by now. It wasn't my first choice to lose the weight, and I don't guess it is for anyone else either!