keeping strong

I am feeling like I should not tell anyone else about having my RNY surgery! I am tired of the negative comments!!!!!!!!! sorry just had to vent. does anyone not tell family and friends?? or what am I supposed to say when someone tells me not to have it ?

I chose to tell some and not others.  Well, it is not easy to keep it from those that don't know.  now I feel like I have to explain to those that don't what I did do and why I didn't tell them.  ugh.  what a pain. 
I would just say that it is my decision and it is to improve my health.  Then say thank you for your concerns but it is not open for discussion unless you just would like to learn more about it.  My mother was not good with it.  She wanted me to have Lap band instead of RNY.  I took her to the Dr's with me.  He explained why we had come to the decision to do the RNY.  She listened and learned and understood.  That was a hard sell too because she was a nurse and knew a lot of the horror stories from the early days.  Good luck and congratulations!

My mom is not an issue, she asked the doctor if he could do a 2 for 1 ha ha!! I want to say "thank your for your concerns but I've made my choice." I guess I am looking for a way to spare my extended family's (aunts and uncles I have about 20 of them large family)  feelings about it. I know the risk, I just wish other people would understand that no one comes to this decision lightly I think everyone researches and weights the benefit for their own personal reasons. How do you say that with out sounding I don't know stuck up....or disrespectful...Thanks Diane

I've told very, very few people.  In fact to this day my sister-in-law still doesn't know.  She thinks i just went on a diet.  She lives far away and it's easy to not tell her.  I still haven't told most people.  I'm certainly not ashamed that i had RNY, but i certainly don't think i have to explain to everyone and  I truly feel it's no ones business, and those that see me often and ask about my weight loss i just say i eat better/differently and excercise.... which is true. 

In fact my mailman came to my door Friday, he hadn't seen me in a long, long time... he said to me " whooooooweeeee!!!  what happened you??  Did you have one of them thar Gut surgeries?"  (with the emphasis on GUT and a wierd face!!!) Ok... maybe you had to be there looking at a guy with a HUGE belly and no teeth!!!  I had to do everything i could not to crack up... But i just said yeah, i've been losing a little weight.  Thank you for the package and Merry Christmas!  
 
I mean really... there is not a chance in hell that i would discuss my "gut surgery" with him!!!  Or most anybody else for that matter.  (except for you guys here, of course)

OK, I just wanted to say I totally got the visual on the mail man it made me laugh. How rude is that or maybe not maybe that's a compliment in his lingo...OK still laughing!! I think I am just going to keep a lid on it for now....

Diane,

Whether to tell people or not is such a personal decision.  There really isn't right or wrong way to handle this. Many people decide not to tell in the beginning and eventually end up sharing, some tell everyone and some don't tell a soul. You will have to do whatever you are most comfortable with. 

Personally, I'm very open about it. While I don't 'proselytize' I generally will tell someone directly if they ask... Well..., like Judy, I might not have told her mailman... LOL, but in general I do. But, as Judy said, it's no one else's business how you lose weight; However, if you work somewhere, where your eating habits will be visible to all, it might be easier to just 'fess up'... I don't know. I guess there are pros and cons each way. You will likely find support from people you would never have thought would support you and you will probably have some nay-sayers to deal with as well. 

My mother was really against my having any type of WLS, she just wanted me to try and lose it without surgery. I had the surgery because I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and hemochromatosis the same week that she was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney failure, a result of her own type 2 diabetes. Like you and the rest of us, I had tried just about everything, but still was in the mid 250's, so I decided to investigate and finally have WLS. I had some friends that had other friends that had bad experiences. I let them share their concerns, then told them that I appreciated their concerns and would talk with my Dr's about it. I did and still had the surgery. I'm glad I did what I did. I'm glad I told them. I'm glad that they shared their concerns and I'm glad that I resolved my concerns before having surgery.

Okay... It's clear that I'm foggy and rambling today, so I'll say good bye for now.

Just follow your intuition on this... and know it's okay to change your mind later if you want to.

 

OH wow that is scary!! my whole family on my mothers side has type 2 diabeties, high blood pressure, and high blood pressure all over my dads side. So I am on board with you. I don't currently have these problems but I am so borderline its not funny. I just wish I knew what to tell them to convince them I know what I am doing. But, it is becoming more clear that if I am confident about what I am doing then I will just have to sit there and listen and keep my mouth shut, because they are just doing the same thing I am. I think I am making a good chioce for my heath and they don't so maybe they are just looking out in their own way.
Thanks Diane

OH wow that is scary!! my whole family on my mothers side has type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and high blood pressure all over my dads side. So I am on board with you. I don't currently have these problems but I am so borderline its not funny. I just wish I knew what to tell them to convince them I know what I am doing. But, it is becoming more clear that if I am confident about what I am doing then I will just have to sit there and listen and keep my mouth shut, because they are just doing the same thing I am. I think I am making a good choice for my heath and they don't so maybe they are just looking out in their own way.
Thanks Diane

Diane,

Gastric bypass has such a high rate of resolving type 2 diabetes that bypass surgery is being investigated as a tool to manage type 2 diabetes in patients that are not obese. They do a similar surgery, without the smaller pouch.  Apparently, there is a significant hormonal shift that occurs after the bypass that allows your body to regulate it's insulin levels much better. As a matter of a fact, they know that if they reverse the bypass, that the type 2 diabetes will reappear. To be perfectly honest, I had 'toyed' with the idea of weight loss surgery for nearly a decade, but had dismissed it as too dangerous, then I had some other issues that needed resolution before I could consider WLS. At any rate, when I originally consider WLS, I thought I'd go for the band because it is statistically 'safer', but the reason I wanted to the surgery was to resolve my diabetes and manage my hemochromatosis. While I'm delighted with the quality of life improvements that my weight loss has afforded me, it is the resolution of these issues that really made me decide to go forward and for me, RNY was the surgery of choice because of the high incidence of resolving diabetes, as well as the potential to have it manage my hemochromatosis which can be a fatal problem if not treated. 

I wish you all the best as you move forward and do you what need to do to take care of yourself. 

Barb, you're so right.  since i work from my own home i didn't have to see the same people every single day and have these people watch me eat lunch.  So probably  my choice of telling no one was easier for me than it might be for someone else.  Although, as i think about it, i still might not have discussed it.  If someone asked my why i was eating so little, i might have just said it's my new diet.  which it actually is. I really don't know since i wasn't in that position. 

Being a heavy person who has tried every diet there is... including all the wierd ones, and the diet pills etc, anyone who knew me would just say, yeah,... she's on some wierd diet again.