It's official - cancer x-post

I had my gallbladder out on Sept 3.  My surgeon wanted to talk to me on the 9th about my pathology report.  The gallbladder contained a cancerous tumor.  Adenosquamous carcinoma.  The gallbladder lies up against the liver.  Yesterday I saw Dr. Zervos at ECU.  A surgical oncologist.I guess I never really thought it WAS cancer when it seemed there was a possibility that it could have all been confined to the gall bladder.  But lets get real, here.The tumor was about 1" in diameter.  The cancer had progressed to the lymph ducts (nodes?) inside the gall bladder.  It had been growing for probably a year.I've known there was something wrong with my gallbladder.  I was trying to wait until Medicare and my med sup would pay for the removal when I turned 65.  Then I came into a little money and decided this was one of the things I would spend some of it on.  I will have to pay 20% of the allowable charges for all of this.  I'm not sure what my catastrophic cap is.  But I do know this will run into 2 fiscal years, so I will be paying up to that amount twice!Thursday the 17th, Dr. Zervos will operate.  He will remove about 2 cm's of my liver.  The area that the gallbladder comes in contact with.  He will also remove the bile duct and replace it with a piece of my intestine.  The surgery will take about 2.5 hours.  I'll be in the hospital for a week.  Then at home recovering for 3 more weeks.  Then I will begin radiation.  Not sure on the length of that.I had a CT scan yesterday, as well.  If the doctor had seen a nodule in my liver, there would have been no surgery.  Just the option of chemo to slow it down and prolong my life for a short period.  I would NOT have taken that option.  He saw no nodules, so surgery is a go.My daughter came from Oregon on Thursday afternoon.  She will stay until my surgery is over.  When all goes well with that, she will go back to OR and perhaps come for some of the radiation.  I did not think it was necessary for her to come.  I am eternally grateful that she did.She and my DIL took me to the doctor yesterday.  Then we all had a 'family meeting' while they discussed my treatment.  Who would be going with me on Thursday (I am hoping for just my girls).  Who will be staying in Greenville during my week in the hosp. (Just give me some books and you can all go home, is my wish).  Who will bring me home from the hosp. (I hope it's a weekend).   Who will check in on me during my 3 weeks recovery and who will get me to and from radiation (depending on where it is).I am feeling very guilty about all of this.  And I know everyone is gonna say DON'T.  But this is disrupting the lives of many people.  This is costing my family time and money away from work and their families.Our son will probably be gone until it is time for my radiation. There is nothing that can be done about it, and there is nothing he could do if he was here.  Our DD has many work obligations she is giving up, plus events with her kids that are having to be cancelled.  She will be spending time back and forth.  Using up her sick and vacation time, costing big bucks.  Our DIL is also using up all her sick and vacation days for me.  One grandson has sports tournaments that should not be ignored.  The other one has a very light schedule at college this semmester, so I'm sure he will be seeing less of his girlfriend and his buddies, and more of his grandparents.  My DH doesn't drive, so someone else will have to be getting the groceris, etc while I am 'laid up' for 2 months.  They are all being so understanding and accepting of all this work.  I am blessed!Of course, there is still the remote possibility that there is no cancer in the liver, or the lymph nodes around it.  But the odds are not good  None of us asked about a prognosis for after the surgery and radiation.Just wanted all of you to know.  After Thursday it will probably be awhile before ya'll 'hear' from me on the net.

I just wanted to say you are in my prayers for a good prognosis and a successful treatment.
In reading your post I am sure that you have given up a lot in your life for your children and grandchildren. Now is the time to let them give back to you some. I know it is difficult when you are used to being the one who does the giving.
It makes other people feel good to be able to help someone else once in awhile. We all have to make sacrifices for people we love and your children and grandchildren seem willing to do this for you whom they love. Let them love and take care of you for a change. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Jackie

((((((Gram))))))),

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles and so glad to hear that your liver and lymphnodes seem to be clear. 

As the daughter of a mother who is critically ill, please let me tell you that there is NOTHING in this world that I or your daughter (in-law's included) would rather do with their time, love and money than to be there to support you. Remember that in supporting you, they are actually able to 'do something' to help you through this incredibly difficult time. Instead of taking from them, allowing them to help you is a way of giving to them. There will be other soccer games, jobs, etc... If they are anything like me. They not only want to be there for you, but also for themselves; I'm sure that there is nowhere else in this world that they want or need to be right now. 

Please know that I'm keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so glad you will be surrounded by those who love you through your journey with surgery and chemo.  Wishing you as gentle a journey as possible...

   I have always found joy in taking care of my loved ones, no matter the sacrifice. Do not steal their joy by feeling guilty. 
   I have always been the one to give, but the real life lesson for me was to take-so much harder to do!
   Envelope yourself in the care and love given to you at this time-and let the healing begin!
    Prayers and healing intersession-Debbi

It is good to have a strong willed family that is so supportive. I am happy you have that and that is what will pull you through. I bet you are the only one concerned about the disruption to your family but I am certain they are glad to be able to do what they can and it will keep your spirits up and aid in your healing process more than you know. Thank goodness you didn't wait to get your treatment.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I will get my daughter to post an update on Thursday or Friday. You guys are just the best.

Grammylew.  You are in my prayers and will be until this is resolved and I know it will be.  It's so typical that you are worried about everyone but yourself.  How's your husband?  Has it hit him, the seriousness.  He's probably in denial.  Husbands don't like to think about such things as serious illness, at least not in my experience. 

I'm praying for a positive outcome and strength for you.  Don't worry about your family.  I'm sure they want to be there with you and no sacrifice would be too great!  You are such a kind an loving woman I know they want to be with you throughout this journey.

If possible would you ask your daughter to keep us posted if you are unable to get on line.  I'm going to be thinking about you daily.

Wishing you safety and fast healing.

Lisa O.

Please keep us posted!  You are in my thoughts and prayers!  Family is supposed to support each other, I know mine would step up in a heart beat and I would do the same.  This time the stepping up is for you, be happy you have such a close knit family and wonderful support system!  Sometimes it's easier for us to give than to recieve, you would do the same if the shoe were on the oposite foot...  Anyway, I will continue to pray for sucessful treatment and some good news for you! 

Hugs!

Sheryl

Hi Grammylew,  I am sorry to hear of your troubles.  Know that you will be in our prayers. Please take care and let us hear from you.

Hugs,
Vera

I am thinking of you and saying many prayers for you.  I also put you on our prayer list at church.  I will continue to pray for your good health and for the peace and serenity of knowing that you family loves you very much and that you are giving them a GIFT by allowing them to help you.