I'm struggling to do the right thing...

I am experiencing an enormous amount of stress in my life right now and if left totally unchecked, I'm sure that my weight would be climbing like the elevator to the Empire State Building. I'm constantly fighting the urge to soothe myself with food. I often 'win' these battles, but I find myself faltering much more often than I like and or am comfortable. I use the 'Beck Diet Solution' program which is helpful. I also both attend and host support group meetings on a regular basis. While I find these things helpful, I'm really struggling to keep doing the things I need to do to take care of me. I keep wanting to comfort myself and honestly, I'm most often drawn to food comforts. I give in sometimes and resist sometimes. I do a much better job of recognizing the behaviors that could cause me trouble and resulting weight gain than I used to, but to say that it's a struggle right now is a major understatement.

I do take time to reflect on the good things in life and to count my blessings... sometimes, multiple times daily. That said, the reality is that I'm having a very hard time keeping my equilibrium and my weight steady.

I share this because I hope that others will understand how incredibly important it is to learn to cope and comfort ourselves in ways that do not include food. During the first weeks, months and even first year, it seems like those old demons are more easily thwarted, but as you get beyond the first 18 month or so, your body doesn't necessarly yank you up by the ears like it did early on if you make a 'bad' choice. Eventually, we have to learn long term coping mechanisms to help us manage life's really difficult times so that we don't lapse into the dangerous behaviors that can undo all of the work we put into taking the weight off in the first place. 

I hope that sharing my struggles will help someone else... 

 

Barbara,

 I pray that you will find peace in your stressful times. One big motto of mine is "take the next right action, no matter how you feel". If you take the right action your feelings will change. I used to  be run by my feelings. Not so much anymore. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I don't have control over other people and most events. I pray for God's will to be done and for me to be OK with it. I just do what I need to do and try to let other people do what they need to do without my interference. I used to be so controlling and it was hard to learn to change. I am learning though because it was killing me.
You are in my prayers. Jackie

Hi Jackie,

Thank you for your thoughtful and considerate reponse. I have to tell you that I'm working hard on learning to do the things or take the 'actions' I need to take to ensure that I can and will do what I need to do to be successful and healthy in the long term. That said, I have to tell you that my illness, the severe clinical depression makes this harder than I can express. In part, one of the ways that my depression manifests itself when it becomes severe, is that it nearly cripples me into 'inaction.' I nearly become parylized... I don't really know how to express it. But, I withdraw and internalize a great deal. I am working with someone on this and I work hard to overcome the 'natural' tendencies of the depression, but I'm not nearly as successful as I wish I were.

Thanks again for the suggestions.

I am still in that window of time where I have a better chance of staying in control but I already see how easy it can be to get off course. You are doing the right thing to stay with as much support as you can to pull you beck on track. Just don't beat yourself up all the time. You are healthy and as a bonus look really good. Remember that your health is the main reason for all of this and its easier to stay the course. Thanks for your mentorship through this. It really is a source of strength for me.

Hi Ann,

Thanks for your note. Believe it or not, I really do work to not beat myself up. I start each day with a note of gratitude and my improved health and quality of life appear on the list in one form or another each day. 

 

Barb, I'm so sorry that life is taking you down the road you are on.  I can really relate to what you are talking about.  Our surgery dates are about the same and I too am struggling with slipping back into bad habits when I'm stressed/sad/happy, etc.  My demons are the refined sugars.  Unfortunately I don't dump unless I eat too much sugar too fast but even the little I eat is contributing to a little weight gain.   In the first 12-18 months, you tend to think you've got this "thing" conqurerd but slowly realize that you can and will slip back into those bad habits that got us into the situation where we needed WLS in the first place.  I agree with you that we have to find ways to deal with what life throws at us in healther ways for the REST OF OUR LIVES IF we don't want to end up back where we began. 

Take care my friend and thanks for your support and wisdom you so unselfishly share with the NC OH family! 

Alice

Hi Alice,

It seems that while we have some very different stresses and concerns, that we have traveled very similar roads. I appreciate your support and wish you and  yours all the best as we navigate these difficul****ers. I try to remember just how far I've come and realize that with work, I CAN DO THIS and I know that you can too. Together, we will make this journey... for the rest of our lives.

Warmly,

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

I thought about you this morning...

I had a conversation with a lady I barely know and she was telling me about
something good happening in her life. When our talk ended, I thanked God for having someone share some good news as it seems we are inundated with bad, sad, depressing news. I have a few minor struggles right now and just need to keep focusing on the glass being half full. 

My conversation with God turned to your and your courage. I thanked Him for you being our leader even when things may not be going as well as you want them to be. My struggles have caused me to retreat like a little turtle so I have been lurking, praying for others struggles and quietly rejoicing in their triumphs.

You have continued to be in the forefront for us and continued to encourage us. THANK YOU! 

I have caught myself doing some mindless eating resulting from my struggles. That mindless eating is where I have been seeking comfort. I am blessed that I have been able to maintain my weight despite the mindless eating and lack of an intense exercise routine since injuring my knee. Thank you for reminding me to stay focused.

Even though I am lurking again, you are close in my thoughts and prayers!

Hi Valerie,

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles and I hope that things will even out for you soon. Thank you for your kind words of support and compliments. 

Ben and I were just saying how much we miss seeing you. I hope we'll see you again soon.

Warmly,

(((((((((((((Barb))))))))))))) just wanted to give you a hug. I am sorry your having problems.... I am also down here in Foodland with you take it easy sweetie and keep that pretty chin up!!!!