It feels like the sky is falling ... OT

As many of you who have known me for a while know, I suffer from severe clinical depression. I see a psychiatrist and a counselor, but right now meds and counseling aren't enough.

My husband lost his job in January, right after he had his own RNY... Thank goodness he was able to have before the layoff ... There are still some good things that happen... At any rate, even though he has been diligently looking, he has only had 1 in person interview, 2 phone interviews and no job. Because of this, it's becoming clear that we will lose our house and with that we will probably have to re-home our dogs.

I'm heart-broken on so many levels. I've been in tears multiple times daily. I'm trying, but not being very successful about taking care of myself. I keep forgetting my suppliments, I'm drawn to 'comfort foods', I'm not sleeping well, I'm sort of 'fractured'... As you may have noticed, I'm not only not very active on this board anymore, but on any of the OH boards... I feel like the sky is falling, like I am free-falling and I'm terrified. 

That said, this morning I made sure to take my vitamins and I had breakfast. I logged on to OH and I'm posting. I'm trying to resign myself to the inevitable and do what needs to be done to keep myself and family afloat. 

Oh... and today is our 32nd wedding anniversary... So today I won't work on cleaning stuff out in preparation for down-sizing... Today, I'm going to try to take a break from all of the fear and hurt and be happy that I still have my friend walking with me through not only the good times, but the tough times too.

oh barbara, im so sorry to hear all of this   what a lot to have to deal with.  i will keep yall in my prayers.  big hugs.

Thank you... I hope they are heard soon.

I wish I had some magical words of comfort and could tell you that things are going to be okay - SOON. My heart is just breaking for you. I really, really wish I was closer to you so that I could come over and give you a big ole HUG!!! You, my friend, are one of the most caring, compassionate and downright amazing  individuals that I have ever had the pleasure of  knowing. You will come out of this stronger and wiser than you think possible. I know it's not possible to step away from your cir****tances - but try for at least a few minutes today to celebrate the life that you and Ben have and refocus your thoughts on what an incredible 32 years you've had thus far. Somehow I believe that the best is yet to be.

- Iris 

Hi Iris,

Thanks for the friendship, support and virtual hug. 

It is my intention to do just what you have suggested today... Today is a bit bittersweet, but so is a good chocolate chip cookie... LOL

Hoping for the best yet to come,

(((((((HUGS, and lots of them HUGS)))))))))

I know it must feel like things are out of control right now, but you are so strong and have weathered many storms; you'll get through this one too Barb.  I'm sitting here in Ronnie's hospital room, yet again for the 5th time in 3 years, and feel the urge to reach for some comfort foods and it is a strong urge to fight so I know what you mean.  Please do take today to celebrate the incredible marraige you and Ben have.  Get out of the house and do something different; go to a park and take a walk; may take some goodies and have a picnic.  I'll keep you both in my prayers. 

Take care my friend!  Alice

Hi Alice,

We did have a nice day and Ben took to dinner at a wonderful restaurant we have both enjoyed. We had a lovely dinner... who would have thought... and just think, since we don't eat much, we get to enjoy it again during the next day or so. A nice side benefit of RNY :-)

Keeping you and Ronnie in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Barb,
My love and light are headed your way.
Big hugs to both you and Ben.
Thank you so much for offering info on a good pet/house sitter so far I think I have it covered btw yes we will be flying I had put my foot down.
sometimes when all seems lost things will improve who knows it maybe the power of God who steps in.

Footprints
Also Known As "I Had a Dream"

One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
                                            Annie

Thanks Annie,

Glad to hear you've got everything under control and I hope that you have a good trip... all things considered... At least you know that flying will be 'comfortable' this time. ;-)

 

Barbara,
I am so sorry to hear of your sadness. I pray that things will look up for you and your husband soon. Keep taking care of you no matter what. Jackie