Kinda Sad

I have posted before about losing my mom earlier this month.  But tonight my oldest daughter (she is 6) came in and was crying.  She and I have talked alot about the surgery and what is going to happen with me and changes that are going to come.  She came to me crying telling me that she did not want me to have surgery because she was scared that if I went to the hospital for surgery I would die and go to heaven like grandma.  I just held her and hugged her and tried to explain the difference about grandma being very sick. 

I was very surprised that she had this connection because I am a nurse and work at the hospital and we are always talking about the hospital.  I also work in labor and delivery so she is aware of the happy things that happen at the hospital as well.  I feel bad that I am causing her stress, even though I know she is going to love the results of the surgery.  I wish the surgery was already done so she would not have a litte over a week worrying about me.  She is such a kind and sweet little girl. 

Hi Kimberly,

I have to tell you that I had a similar situation with my daughter who was 13 at the time. This is a hard thing, no matter what, but it's very hard when we know that while the probability is that everything will be fine, there is a remote possibility that there could be a tragedy. We didn't dwell on that point. We talked about the fact that I would be so much healthier, happier and active after losing the weight. We talked about the fact that while there could be an accident, it was much like mommy's going into the hospital to have a baby... Most of the time everything was fine and if it wasn't there were people there to help take care of problems. I think you are doing the right thing in talking with her and acknowledging her fears and letting her know that you appreciate her and understand her concerns. I also think that finding ways to reassure her that all is well after surgery will go a long way. Maybe you two can work out something that will help her through the surgical transition. 

Wishing you both all the best,

 

I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. I wish you much success with your surgery and recovery. I was an L&D nurse for nine years. Good luck, you and your daughter will be in my prayers. Jackie

I know that's hard.  I told my children about my surgery but not exactly when it was.  I told them mama was working and I called them many times.  It wasn't until I came home that we talked about how the Dr fixed mommy's tummy so she can't pick you up for a little while.  Jordan is 5 and Noah is 2... it was just easier that way than to have them worry. 

Kelly