I Am Not Looking Back...
Ok I need to look back to learn from my mistakes but I will not dwell on them as I also believe that all of my experiences have helped to make me the person I am today. 
Had my 3 yr appt yesterday so here are some thoughts...
For those who have been or will be going through the program at Duke, they have undergone some changes since my intro to them in 2006. Here are some things I noticed:
The new facility was much more accommodating for those who are SMO (I almost fell in the toilet it was so big!) 
I received a sheet with all of the recommended vitamins and dosages and it was actually reviewed with me! 
(had not been done in any other appts)
They did not have any record of my 2008 visit in my chart. Once I told her I signed up for Duke Healthview, we went online and reviewed all my labs from last year in anticipation of what changes we could see this year...again had not been done before
She noticed my weight was up a little since my 2007 visit. We took a while to talk about what I had experienced and the positive changes I have been making to bring my weight back down.
(Let me digress for one minute and say I had a revelation here because I really had not know how much I had gained. She had me at 215 in 2007. Today I weighed 232. So she is thinking in 2 years I put on about 15 lbs. Not enough to skin me alive but enough to mention it. say nope worse than that. When I started couch 25k (and actually since early 2009 when I 'woke up', I shamefully admit the scale was at 257! 
I have lost 25 lbs since starting couch 25k so I am back on the right track but in my complacency I had put on 42lbs! I was thinking 20lbs. How I was not paying attention to me!) 
...Back to the original thought...
She actually listened and we talked for a long while. It was not like in previous days where the attitude was 'let's see how fast we can get her out of here'...
As we talked about what labs she would do, she mentioned not doing one of them because she should have told me to fast. Lo and behold, guess who forgot to eat? It is 2pm and no food yet! I said run all the test you want. She took more time to tell me how my body will go into starvation mode when I do not eat so that counteracts my goals, especially with me exercising everyday. No lectures but true concern that I need not let that become a habit.
The lab lady was out so I had to go over to the hospital to get my labs done. as I did not want to make another long trip to Durham. It made for a a much longer afternoon than I expected but granted that Duke took a lot more time with me this appt and paid me more attention, I was ok.
The only bad part was that when I asked for a printout of my weight history like they used to give me, she said they no longer do that. I did like that chart.
Enough about Duke...let me just end by saying that 3 yrs later I realize that I CARE 
more about my health now than I ever did before or after surgery. I never really paid a lot of attention to my labs other than to see if my numbers were in range. I did not care if they were in range but low, which could indicating I need to work on an area.
If Valerie does not care about Valerie, then Valerie is not going do those things which make Valerie healthier. Self Accountability! I cared enough about myself to finally have the surgery then I walked away again thinking I had it licked. I knew this was no magic bullet and that it would not be easy, but I forgot that it is FOREVER! My health and what I choose to do with it is on me.
So here I am, blinders off, running shoes on, looking ahead, ready for the best of my life for the rest of my life! 
Keep working your plan and taking care of yourself!
If I am gonna eat
like a fat girl, then I gotta workout 
like a skinny girl!
Valerie
it gives me hope, and will power to know that i can make this work for me, like others.
All i have to do is WANT it.
Thanks so much
Annmarie
I appreciate the time and honesty you put into this post. Glad you have your blinders off and congrats! 
