I'm not taking care of me and it is showing on the scales

Hi Deb,

Actually we have talked and cried and talked... I don't believe that what is happening is malicious, I honestly believe that she doesn't recall. To be honest, she's not getting enough O2 the brain or anywhere else. I have been honest with her. I have talked with her so that we try to keep lines of communication open. I also am working on moving forward and realizing that stuff is just stuff. 

We fly out before Dawn tomorrow morning. The movers will come pick up the 'stuff' this week while I'm gone and my sweet husband will deal with that so that I don't have to see 'leave' my house. 

These things are not so much about what I can or cannot afford to replace. It's more about sentiment and attachment. 

I'm not angry, but I am hurt. We have talked about it. I do understand how hard this is for and I think she understands and regrets how hard it is for me as well.

Barbara,
            I truly wish you the best. I know times are hard and even though I'm only 25 I've had my share of ups and downs and sometimes I believe I've had a soap opera of my own. You are a constant in my thoughts and prayers and I'm believing that everything will work out for you. Sometimes we go through things to teach us lessons, sometimes we really don't know why, but what I do know is try you best to be positive. Be the one knowing it will get better, knowing you will succeed, try to be the cheerleader in this game. I know it's easier said then done, but staying positive as hard as it may sound sometimes helps. I hope your diet works for you and I hope therapy/counseling lets you vent and maybe find ways to cope other than eating/comfort eating. Just remember you and your hubby will always be in my prayers, also my grandmother has a worldwide prayer list that ranges from Alaska to Australia to Israel to Japan to California, pretty much just everywhere. I will add you and your hubby to that list as well. So while we are all praying for you, remember you are being thought about and that we love you. If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask. Take Care!

Thank  you Jordan

Oh, Barbara, it sounds like you're going through a tough time emotionally.  I hope you have some good support people locally there in Raleigh you can get together with.  Did my husband share his contacts with your husband.  My husband, Paul, says his company always seems to be looking for good people.  What Paul gets home I'll ask him. 

Last night my mom, who is now a widown and in so-so health, said she may have to eventually consider some alternative living arrangement.  She can't take care of her house all by herself and there may come a day when she'll need help taking care of herself too.  She said she didn't think she'd be happy at an assisted living place and said she'd probably me much happier either living with us or having us come live with her.  I didn't say anything, but my inner voice said, "OMG, RUN!  I cannot do this!!!  My mother would drive me crazy if I had to live with her!"  I love my mom and we live only a few blocks away, so we see her almost daily, but I could NOT live with her.  I think you must be a wonderful person have dealt with your mom under your roof as long as you did.  You shouldn't feel like you are responsible for your mom.  You did more than your fair share of her care.  As for her giving away stuff she'd previously given to you, that may very well be a matter of her failing memory and/or some form of dementia.  I think this kind of thing is common among the elderly.  If there are any items that are special to you, say something to your mom.  Tell her you'd like to keep certain items. 

Hi Meredith,

Thank you for thougthful comments. I am sorry to hear that your mother is also in failing health and I hope it all works out for you and her. 

I agree that my mother giving things to others that she has given to me is not malicious and she is forgetful... she even acknowledges that fact... That said, if an error is made, she will not say to the other party, Oops! I already gave that to Barbara, instead she says Oops! I just gave that to your brother.

I have helped him load the artwork. I've unloaded the china cabinet and I've 'tagged' all of the furnitute that will be going to them. I've asked that it be loaded up and gone while I'm gone. It will be easier that way for me. 

Oh my gosh - Barb - I had no idea. I haven't been on the boards much. My father died of ideopathic pulmonary fibrosis (he was a surgeon). It was a terrible time and so dreadfully hard on the family because the suffering was really hard. Is there anything at all I can do. If you still have my cell phone, please call. I'll pop up to Raleigh and maybe we can have lunch or something. I'm SO SORRY!



If you remember, I went through the house thing in October. I feel such a kinship with what you are going through!

Hi Kit,

I'm so sorry to hear that your father had to suffer that fate and I don't look forward to my mother's future. In many ways having her gone will be harder, I'm sure in others it will be easier... Knowing that she will suffer so, is so hard though. 

I'm literally leaving before dawn tomorrow to escort my mother home and I won't be back in N****il July 8th. Maybe we can get together after I get back. 

As for the house thing... We'll have to see what happens I guess.

Thank you for your friendship and understanding.

Barb - she may not suffer that much. While my dad had a few rough times (difficulty breathing even on 02), he didn't suffer most of the time and the end was very easy (he just went to sleep). I know that probably doesn't help, but I will keep you in all my prayers. The most important thing with this disease is that she keep oxygenated and preferably on the 02 that has a mix of 02 and water. My dad had a huge machine that they brought to the house that mixed 02 with water and that helped tremendously. He didn't suffer near as much after they switched him to that. You are in my prayers, from the bottom of my heart!
Kit

Barb,
Here is a big hug. Im not going write a bunch of advice to do. You have so much happening you are overwelmed. Just know,.. you are in my thoughts and prayers.  And prayers do help. You know what to do and I am sure you will get back on track with the wl or maintaining and life.
God Bless,
Myrtis

Hi Myrtis,

I find that when I'm nervous, I get easily irritated, when I'm stressed I cry and when the stress level gets really bad, I get hives, a bad headache and nauseous... Well, the nausea has set in bigtime, so today, I haven't been eating a bunch of bad stuff... Maybe it's my bodies way of protecting me from me.