New here. Need some opinions

I have started going through the process of getting surgery.  I have finished everything except the results appointment.  I have even gotten the letter of approval from the insurance company.  I have been so excited for so long about finally doing this and doing something for myself.  I am the mother of three small girls, who are great!  But a handful.  The part that is making me a little nervous is I also am caring for my mother who lives with us.  She has end stage emphysema.  Which for many years has been doing OK, but now recently she has started to deteriorate faster.  She has just gotten out of the hospital from a week long admission and  is her third in two months.  

I am already a bit overwhelmed with all going on at home, I am scared that I am going to have a hard time focusing on me and my needs after the surgery.  It seems like this would be the time that I would really have to focus on my needs.  Do you think I am getting in over my head?  I so need the surgery for me and my girls.  They need their mom to be able to run and play with them.  They deserve that.  Those of you that have had the surgery, do you think it will be too much to handle?????   

After your surgery you will feel weak, tired, and not able to do much for about 2 weeks.  After that it gets better.  Start working with your little girls on things they can do for themselves to help you out.  How's your husband with helping?  Also, do you have relatives that can help with your mom while you're recovering?  There may be helping hands available through your church.  Most churches have support networks set up to help families for just such an occasion.  Social Services may be able to lend a hand with your mom too.  If you have the means, you could consider hiring a part-time day nurse or home health person to come in to help with your mom as you recover.  There are many options.  But don't put off your surgery.  You need this for you, because ultimately, your family needs you to be healthy in the long run.  Take care of yourself now so you can be there for them in optimum health later on.  I'm sure your mom wants you to be healthy too.  Good luck to you!

Thank you,  I had not thought of church, that is a great idea.  My mom does want this for me, she would probably be upset if I did not do it due to the cir****tances.  Again Thank you

With me I felt so much stronger in 2 weeks or so I would say it helps not hurts. I was able to do so much more but everyone heals diferent

Good Luck

I have had two laporscopic surgeries in the past and did not have much trouble with pain or issues that way,  But I bet it is a whole other ball game when you throw in the change in diet. 

Thanks

Hi Kimberly,

I'm glad that you came on and asked. Meredith is so right about reaching out for resources. They are available and willing to help. You might also see if you can get a high school student to come by and function as a mothers helper to help with minor chores like laundry, warming up dinners that were delivered by church friends or that you have prepared ahead in the freezer, keeping and eye on the kids. If you did that for a few hours after school each day for 2 or 3 weeks, I'll bet it would go a long way towards giving you the time you need to recover... It's something that I did when I had my daughter many years ago and it helped. My mother has ideopathic pulmonary fibrosis, so I know how hard this can be. I also know that while you will initially be tired, in the long run you will much stronger and much more able to care for your mother and your daughters. 

Wishing you all the best,

Thank  you that is a great idea as well.  I have a couple of friends that have some high school children might be a way for them to make some extra money over the summer. 

I want to encourage you to do everything you can to set yourself up for success ahead of time.  I had a very difficult time functioning for 6 whole weeks post-op.  I was weak, weapy, emotional, and had a very hard time coming out of that funk.  I've heard it was probably due to release of hormones from losing weight so quickly and perhaps the residue of anesthesia in my system.  By two months out, you will have so much more energy, stamina, and ability to care for your girls and your mother in a way you haven't been able to, and it will just continue to get better from there!  Definitely make a game-plan for at least 2 weeks with the suggestions given, but do know that you may need help for even a few weeks beyond that.  :)  Good luck and keep us posted!