Do I tell co-workers??

I have a little dilemma and not sure what to do.  The only person at work that knows I'm having surgery is my boss who I  just told a week ago and one of my friends who had surgery 2 months ago.  Anyway, I work with a great group of people, but I've found my decision to have surgery very personal and emotional.  At 52 sometimes I feel very ashamed that I've let myself get this heavy.  I'm my worst judge and just aren't sure how other people who I work with who've never had problems with weight are going to say.  I feel as though I don't need any other judges besides myself.  Does this make any sense.  I'm only 16 days away from surgery.  Any thoughts?

I just let things unfold naturally,  In convo about what I was eating, why I missed  work, etc. I was also ashamed of letting myself get so heavy, but I was not ashamed of finally doing something about it.

Charlene,

This is such a personal decision. I think Debbie is right you will have to let it unfold naturally. To be honest, when you have surgery and then start losing a great deal of weight, people will naturally speculate. You will have to do what is most comfortable for you. I don't necessarily volunteer, but I never lie either. I think that you need to look at this as taking charge of your life and health. As you well know, WLS has the greatest longterm success rate... Success is not just losing the weight, but keeping it off. Nothing else comes near to the 80 percent success rate... People will probably share that they know of someone who had great success and some will share that they know someone who either didn't lose it or gained it back... You will lose and you can manage optimize your success in the weight loss arena... You can also optimize your maintenance. The fact that you are here is part of what will help you in both of those areas... Support and following your surgeon's program are the keys to short and long-term success. 

I guess the reasons that I'm going into this, is that even though we know that this is a tough road, we sometimes also think that we are 'taking the easy way out' ... Cases can be made for that argument both ways... I personally don't think that I could have gotten the weight off without the surgery and I do think it really helped me do it, but I don't think that it was EASY by any measure. What I do think and facts back me up, is that it is the most effective way to not only get, but keep the weight off.

I think we are often concerned that others will judge us. To be honest a very few will, but in the most part you will likely find that you have much more support than you could have ever imagined ... and like it or not, you will most likely inspire others to make positive changes in their own lives... not that you need to be or feel responsible for that at all. 

I prefer to have more control over the 'speculation' about my weight loss and just be upfront about it. You have to do what is most comfortable for you. You should also know that what is comfortable for you may well change as you make your way... Take it a day at a time.

Wishing every success,

Charlene,

I also think it's personal.  I haven't had any qualms about telling anyone and others have commented on how "proud" I am of my decision.  Guess what?  They're right!  I am proud that I've taken this positive step to help me correct the negativity that I've inflicted on my body. 

I know to my face, they're all supportive.  What they say behind my back may be different and may make them feel better and that's ok, cuz I truly only care about what those closest to my heart think. 

Don't be ashamed of the past,  be PROUD of the future you've chosen.

Michelle

I tend to chose the path of laying it all out in front right away. It seems to work for me and it makes it so I can move on and not really dwell on it. The people at my job (all 20 somethings and college students) and my bosses knew right from the start and it allows me to deal with my neccesary snacking during my shift without a lot of questions etc. I was the same way about my diabetes when I was diagnosed with it several years ago. What I have been delighted to find out is that most folks are interested for a bit then they just get bored with it and find something else to be interested in. I do hear a lot of stories about others who have had the surgery and to my amazment most of them are positive and successful. This surgery has gotten so much more common because it does work and maybe within the next decade it will be perfectly normal have it instead of an anomoly as it seems to be for now. I do hope though that obesity rates in this country and the world will go down as we are finding out more and more that prevention is the best way to fight it. But for those of us who are already trapped surgery is one of the ways we can fight it and get back ourselves in the process.
I am 52 years old too and I do regret I did not address this years ago but I am happy that I did it now and am on the mend for the rest of my life. I try not to dwell on shame of getting obese because like the generation before us that got hooked on smoking really didn't realize the dangers of it our age group really did not see how ever increasing food portions and hidden sugars in our foods were going to affect us so emensly. Now that label reading has become an ingrained habit I have totally changed what I buy at the store to eat but until a few years ago I had no clue what I was actually eating or how much I was supposed to eat of it. I felt value meant more for the money. Cut yourself some slack. Our generation grew up on more is better and clean your plate and so on. The same stuff we ate as kids was reformulated over the years and became less healthy overall to consume but we were unaware of it. Now we are learning better and at some point our grandchildren will learn how to understand what is actually in their food and make better choices. It is up to us to teach them and to make sure they get to watch us make our changes and watch our children make theirs and future generations will be healthier and hopefully not obese as a result.
Sorry this turned into my soapbox but I really want you not to feel so guilty.

Another one who agrees it is personal decision. We can share our experiences and you will ultimately need to decide what is right for you, how much disclosure and to who, so that you are comfortable.
I had surgery 3 years ago. I told my boss first, who was very supportive. She shared that her mother-in-law had the surgery a few years prior and some of her successes. At the time, I was managing a team of (5) employees. I met with them together and told them and that was it. For me, I told just this small group as they were going to be the most affected by me being out of the office for a few weeks (I planned to take off 3 weeks). I worked in a department of 100, so I knew questions would arise later. I told my staff if they were asked that they could tell what they knew and direct the person asking to come talk to me, as I did not want to put my staff in an awkward position.
Once the weight started coming off, people asked, but it was very subtle and the word quickly went around. People kept their negative opinions to themselves and the entire department supported me.
One think that helped was that everyone knew I was kinda private but yet approachable, so although I did not shout it from the rooftops, they knew they could come ask me about it.
Hope that helps.

I told everyone, but the decision is very individualized.  Do you normally share personal info with coworkers?  I am the type of person who does, so it was just very natural for me to do so.  Of course, my coworkers are also healthcare workers, so I don't really know if I'd feel any differently if I worked in a different field.  I probably would share regardless of where I worked, honestly ... it's just the kind of person I am.  You have to go with what you feel.  But you will lose weight quickly, and if people don't know about the surgery, you will start getting comments about why you're losing weight, are you sick, do you have cancer, etc.....which to me would be worse than people complimenting me for losing weight.  It's just a personal thing.

I recently switched to a new department where people did not know me from preop.  As I get to know them, I share with them, and end up showing them pictures of preop.  It's pertinent because I work as a nurse in an operating room, where we do bariatric surgery.  I can identify with the obese patients, whether coming in for bariatric surgery or another type, and when appropriate, I do share with them and try to help educate them to the special needs of the bariatric population.  I feel like it's my way of  "giving back", if that makes sense.