I'm really struggling...

As many of you know, I really struggle with depression and it's been gripping me pretty hard lately. To say that I'm under a lot of stress right now is the understatement of the decade and I find myself 'comforting myself with food... A little here, a little there... but it's adding up because I have gained about 8 to 10 lbs since December. I know it's stress, but I have to say that I find it terrifying. I see my old behaviors creeping back in. I'm working on it, but obviously not doing a great job. I know that in the scheme of things my 'bounce back' weight is to be expected and with the minor exception of the tummy that returned, I have to admit that I generally like the way I look and feel, but my concern is this terrifying upward trend. 8 to10 lbs times 10 will put me right back where I was... I don't seem to be able to stem the tide and it really frightens me. 

I'm logging my intake. I'm starting to work on my Beck Book. I'm reaching out. 

I have to tell you that this (trying to maintain my weight loss) is much, much harder than losing the weight. Please don't get me wrong. I don't mean to suggest that the weight loss journey is an easy one... I just find this part of the journey far more difficult and challenging. 

I cannot stress enough the importance of identifying and modifying behaviors while you are losing the weight... When they talk about the 'honeymoon' period, it's not just about the weight loss, but also about the opportunity to make important changes while you cannot eat as much, while your body still yanks you by the short hairs when you make decisions that are not in your best interest.

I do not think that all is lost, but I am really scared.

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Thank you.

Sorry to hear about your struggles.  Im thinking about you!  HUGS

Thanks... I hope that sharing my struggles will help those of you coming behind me... Be mindful.

"Kudos" to that.  I had gain 8 pounds in one month when my mom was here and I have dropped 4 of it.  I am glad the candy season is over.  Yet I just can't get myself to stay committed to exercise which I know is key.  I just find my self to tired at the end of the day and the snacking is an issue.  I know better which makes it worse mentally.

Thanks for the understanding. Congratulations on getting hold of the weight gain and reversing it... It gives me hope. What's bad is I don't care if I ever lose the weight I regained because I like how I look and feel. It's that I need to get a handle on and stop the regain.

Congrats again on your managing your weight.

Barbara,

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling.  You have been such an inspriation to me and so many other its hard to think that you to have the same problems we have.  I know one thing that has keep me going is at the beginning a wise woman told me to make a list of all the reason why I wanted this and I have refered to them often maybe a referal is what you need wise woman.  I will be praying and thinking about you

Leslie

Leslie,

One of the reasons I posted this is so that you will know that I AM just like you and that you and I have to identify and manage these behaviors to be truly successful. Unfortunately, success is not losing the weight... success is keeping it of and that is where I'm struggling.

What is odd about the regain is people tell me I look better but all I see is fatter thighs and a stomach which without my spanx is still there.  I have been told I don't look so hollow in the face.  I wonder though when I look at all the before and after pictures most folks, maybe the older ones do look older than they are and the skin texture is different more wrinkle like paper.  I'm sure that is not for everyone.  Yes I know weight and age has alot to do with it but my sister is 10 years older than me and has lost over 200 pounds not by surgery, more hormonal and having gullbladder issues and her skin is not like mine dried with fine wrinkles.  It seemed to bounce back for her though she does have a large panie to deal with and still some weight.  She had been well into the 400's where my highest was 284.  I don't drink the water like I should though I can do some damage to a coffee pot!  Yes I know it is dehydrating but it doesn't effect my scales.  All said though from October to Easter it is the food and candy season and so easy when we are months out to get into eating again and most get to the point they can and you do get tired of the rules.  I don't know why.   Why is it I get sick of protein drinks or diet drinks, any kind, yet I can crave a pepsi and if you start drinking them could for the rest of my life never get tire of them.  Why is it I can eat broiled meats but get tire of it yet could eat Fried Chicken the rest of my life and not feel that way.  I guess the key to it all of course is yes moderation and offset with Exercise.  Which brings up another issue .....how come alot of people claim to have this great burst of energy a few months out but I never got mine.  I have been tired from day one.  Is there more hopla in it than people care to admit.   I don't know just could be stress, that'll do anyone in. 
I understand being scared when I look down at my thighs which now look fat to me...  We are scare of being failures and not knowing what health issues years out may come along with the surgery even if we gain it back.  That along with moving back into plus sizes.....Does this mean I am getting a skinny persons mentality on going up a few sizes makes me a fat slob????  I hope If anything I haven't gotten that conceited.  Honestly though when I got to a 14 I was like if I never get larger than this again I'm OK/ perfect with it but now I have touched 4's now in 6's  It worries me and defeats me if I move into a 8 but on the level it isn't about conceit it's deeper than that.