I'm really struggling...

Hi Judy,

Thanks for talking me down... Actually, I don't have any Bullseyes in house or my car... It's been a week and I'm still craving 'em, but not giving in right now. I feel like an addict as I think about just pulling into the Handy Hugo, Walmart, etc... to pick up just one small bag... NOPE! So far, so good. We'll see.

I'm reading over my list each morning and trying to do what I need to do to take care of me. We'll see.

Thanks again,

{{{{{{Barb}}}}}}, I can't even imagine the depression not gripping you hard lately with all you have been through and are going through.  I wish I could convince you to not be too hard on yourself about your coping mechanisms kicking in because that just adds more to the stress factor, but I'd just be preaching to the choir, now, wouldn't I, my dear, kindred Barb?!  hehe 

I would also love to tell you to embrace and love that tummy.  It's wonderful that you are at a place you look and feel healthier and love your other body parts more.  I told my hubby earlier that I'm at a point right now that I can look in the mirror and admire my "curves" and not feel like a monster (like I am afraid I will if/when I end up with a hanging suit of skin!).  Even with my less-than-desirable pannus right now, I'm still loving my body.  :)  Heck, it grew my babies!  ;)  Those mommy tummies are badges (and stripes sometimes!) of honor. 

I'm really glad you pointed out how important it is to identify and modify behaviors during the honeymoon phase.  How I hope you can rid yourself of your fear and not burden yourself with more stress.  You are such a bright, intelligent, self-aware woman...I have no doubt that you are going to conquer this and have lifelong success! 

Hi Shauna,

Thanks for the friendship and kind words of support and comfort.

Warmly,