What's your goal weight? (xpost)

I know that when I started this journey, the program I’m with asked me to articulate where I wanted to be in terms of size and weight. What would be the highest acceptable, what would be comfortable, what would be my ‘dream’ weight and size? This helped me try to look at my expectations and try to level them some. I have to admit my actual weight is not what I had anticipated. It’s actually lower. My husband is in the midst of his own journey and he’s not shooting for the ‘normal’ BMI range, because he’s been that small before and to be honest, it’s just too small for him… he really does have big bones and a muscled physique.

  

I think that when looking at what your goal weight should be, you need to work with your Dr and take a number of things into account: your starting weight/bmi, your bone structure, your build, your age, etc…

  

I also think that it’s important to realize the number on the scale, while important as a point of reference, is not the end all when determining if you are at a weight that is good for you. Do you feel wonderful? Are you able to do the things that you want and need to do to enjoy a fulfilled life? Are your vital signs where you need them to be to live long and healthfully? If these things are in line and the number on your scale is not where you had imagined, you might have reached your goal weight without knowing it.

  

So how do you think you will know when you have arrived at goal weight?

Since I am part of the same medical group, I had the same questions asked by them.  My highest acceptable was 150.  My comfortable was 140.  My dream weight is 135.

Isn't amazing how different we all can be. I guess I didn't really know if I could or would get down as small as I am. For me, I didn't think I could accept anything with a 2 in front of it because I hadn't been able to successfully get lower than that and maintain it without WLS, so if ended up there afterwords, I would have seriously disappointed. I felt that my highest 'acceptable weight' would have been about 175 because it was far enough away from 200 to be 'safe' and because it was about 'average' for a woman my height and would put me in about a size 12/14. If I got there, I felt I could and would be happy.  I thought I would be 'comfortable' if I could get to 160 and a size 10/12. That's where my sister was and I had always wanted to be her size... I thought 150 would be perfect because I thought I'd be a solid size 10 there and I would have a normal BMI. WRONG... I'm a 6/8 at 150 and would never have imagined it. My low weight was 132 and I had a BMI of about 20.  For me, to be honest, it just felt too thin. Dr. DeMaria said that his goal for me as 137, so I'm pretty close. Who would have ever thought?! I'm now about 142 to 144 and my BMI is about 23... right in the middle of normal. I wear a size 6, sometimes a 4, sometimes an 8, but mostly a 6. I would never in a million years imagined my wearing single digit sizes.

I think that the real thing is knowing that whatever you have in your head as what your goal, should be, know that you'll probably need to fine tune it as you get there.

Barb, thank you for such an insightful and timely post!  I recently reevaluated my "goal" weight, in light of my "honeymoon" period's end looming, and decided that my goal is 150 instead of 140.  I'm 5'7", and 150 puts me in the middle of the "normal" BMI. 

I hope I make it! Thanks again, Barb.  Your posts are always so good to promote thought and self-reflection!

Hi Lisa,

As you have noticed, it is important for us have a target to shoot for, but to re-evalutate as we get closer. Remember that the honeymoon door doesn't just slam shut at 12 months... there is generally a somewhat flexible window somewhere between 10 and 15 months or so.

Keep up the great work. You look fantastic and I hope you feel great too!

Hey Barbara,

I am now 4 months out and have lost 68 pounds. I am so happy to be under the 200. I now weigh 195 and it has been probably 15 years since I was this small. I feel better and a lot more healthy. I thought a good weight for me was 150. But, Patrick my lovable NUT said at my 3 month visit that I was suppose to weigh 127....I was like what, I'm happy to be under 200. If I end up at 127 or 150 I will be happy either way. I just have to remember to eat with my head and exercise everyday.....I am on my way to play tennis with the cutiest little 6 year old. We don't know what we are doing, but we run around and hit the ball.
How is hubby doing?? Is he still having trouble seeing the weight loss?? I went shopping the other night for a shirt and I was looking in the regular sizes and I always end up at the plus sizes. I am in regular sizes but my mind still shops in the plus section. I did buy a shirt in the regular sizes. I am glad you have reached your goal and shooting for another...

Heidi

Hi Heidi,

I'm delighted to hear that you are doing so well. It does take time for your head to catch up with your weight loss, but it will.

Ben is doing fine, but doesn't think so. His weight loss is moving slower than he thinks he should. He was ahead of the curve at his 3 month visit, but hasn't lost much since then and it's bothering him.  At this point he's down about 55 lbs... He'd like to be closer to where you are. I think that he'll end up doing fine.

It's great to hear from you and I wish you all the best and continued success,

My goal is 155, which leaves me with 80lbs to go.  But to be honest if I don't lose another pound this surgery was a success for me.

Hey Sam,

Great to see you again. You  are looking great.

Wishing you continued success,

My doctor's goal for me is 131.  I can;t imagine this although that it what I'm really shooting for.  I've never been that small.  I'm thinking 145 would be good.  I'm thinking I'll get to that point (145) and re-evaluate then see if I need to lose the extra 14.  If I'm happy there I'm not going to worry about it.