husbands acceptance...........

I am 7 months post op and I have lost a total of 112 lbs..38 pre-op and 74 post op...I was just wondering if anyone else was having the same problem with their husband as I...my husband says I look good and everything but he acts like he doesn"t really trust me...we have been married for almost 16 years and I have been overweight the whole 16 years...he just questions where I am going and who I am going with, how long I am going to be there, who is going to be there, etc.....LOL....can anyone else share?.....thanx

I can't quite help on this one - but I have read it being fairly common. You may want to try posting on the RNY forum as well if you don't get many responses.  It's weird how surgery on our stomachs effects so many different things. Good Luck!!

- Iris 

Thanx alot

I'm not there yet but mine has admitted to being worried about it. They need LOTS of reassurance. I'd try to make myself an open book as much as possible.  I have my passwords to web pages written on my desk to keep mine secure that I'm not trolling Facebook for a new husband. He doesn't ask for that but I figure it can't hurt. I would certainly want to know what he's up to if the tables were turned.

Plus, I've always heard that one that doesn't trust you is one not to be trusted. Keep your eyes open and reassure him as much as you can.
 
And we thought losing the weight would be our biggest problem!

thanx...u know i will keep a close eye...ive always heard that the guilty one does the accusing..lol

Hi Sheri,
Congratulations on your wieght loss.
I am going to tell you my feelings about what is maybe going on with your hubby.
I think that when you were at your highest weight before surgery your husband probally felt secure in your relationship and did not show the fear that he is showing now.
Now that a whole new you is emerging this may make him feel insecure and relize WOW my wife is looking great and he knows how some other men can be with women.
All I can tell you is to talk from your heart to him by letting him know he dosent need to worry you are his always.
Maybe a heart to heart talk will help ease his fears.
                                                    Annie

thanx alot....i will sit down and have a heart to heart with him....I had to talk my heart out to him just to have the surgery...lol....

There is also a forum under weight loss and then WLS spouses forum it does have topics on this same subject you might find someone else that is or has gone thru this same thing.  I am still pre-op so no help to you, but I wish you and your husband many more happy years.  I am sure he will get over it, it is just new.

thanx alot for the info...and good luck to you

First of all...congrats you big loser!!!

Secondly, I can understand just where you are coming from. My husband hated the fact that I was losing weight even before my surgery. He was completely unsupportive at my surgery and I have since told him that I am doing what I have to do for me to be healthy and since that didn't suit him then he didn't suit me. My situation is a little different than yours and I had to do what was best for me this time.

I am quite sure your hubby is just insecure because you are going to be the hottie that all the guys whistle at and he's probably worried that the new attention might change how you feel about him. Just reassure him that because he stuck by you when you were the big girl that only makes you love him more now.

Keep on being a loser and just keep telling him that the new sexy you is all about loving him!!!